Family Isn't Blood

      Claire rested her head into the crook of Colin's shoulder, still not used to the rush of heat and sparks that came every time they touched. She was painfully aware of how fast his heart was beating, pumping blood through the artery. But she also felt how her touch comforted him. That was more important now. 

      After a minute, she whispered, "We don't have to stay. Not if you don't want to." 

      His heart rate jumped up, forcing Claire to pull away from his bare neck. Looking over apologetically, he took a few calming breaths and replied, "Do you know what rogues are?" 

      Claire shrugged, "Wolves who don't have packs, right?"

      "Yes and no. They don't have packs, but they're often a lot more dangerous than that. Most of them end up spending too much time in their wolf form and become almost," he paused, looking for the right words. "Feral. Packs keep you grounded. They force you to stay human even while you're a wolf." 

      Claire nodded, but she still didn't understand why they couldn't run. "What about the ones who leave together?"

      He smiled at her briefly. Although she didn't understand the severity of her words, they lifted his spirits anyways. She cared enough about him to leave. 

      Colin shook his head, "Rogues can't go onto other packs' lands either. Most end up forced into places where they can't shift and end up going mad from not being wolf enough."

      "Why can't we go to another pack, like your mom tried to? I mean, you were a kid then. But now? What, are you going to kidnap yourself?" 

      Colin sighed, wrapping his arms around her. She fit into him so perfectly. "It's not that simple. To leave a pack, we'd need either permission from the Alpha, or we would need to run and find a pack willing to take in refugees." 

      Claire knew that there was more that he wanted to say. She wanted to lift her head up and take his face into her hands. She wanted to look into his eyes and let him know that he could tell her anything. 

      Instead, she said, "So you've thought about it?" 

      The smile instantly left Colin's face. What was he going to say? 'Of course, I've thought about it. I've thought about it every day of my life. I'm just too big of a coward to leave.' He wanted Claire to feel at home here, at his home. How could he expect that if she knew that he didn't even feel that way? 

      "I'm sorry," she sighed upon seeing the distress in his furrowed brow. She reached up to cup his cheek, and he instantly softened. "I didn't mean to press too much." 

      He kissed her hand. "You could never. And yes, I have thought about it. To be honest, I've thought about it a lot. But I can't go. This is my pack. My family is here." 

      It was Claire's turn to frown. She sat up, out of his arms, and they both were suddenly cold. She whispered, "Family isn't just blood." 

      He knew that he said the wrong thing. If family was blood, her family was a twisted mess of Elias and Jocelyn – two people who have done nothing but hurt and lie to her. He wanted to pull her back in and tell her that he was her family now. He wanted to kiss her and hold her until she knew that every word he said was true. 

      Instead, he said, "Of course not. You've met most of my family; Lily, Reed, Kali, and Joe. But you haven't met Cillian, or his mate and their kids. Or their kids' kids. And I can't leave them." 

      Claire nodded, relaxing back into his hold. It was getting late, and they were both so tired. Colin prayed to The Moon Goddess that she would fall asleep right here, like this. Every other time she had sat in his arms, she had been scared. He had been her protection, and although he would always want to be her protection, he also wanted her to want to be in his arms because it felt more than just safe. He wanted her to be in his arms because it felt right. 

      For nearly ten wonderful minutes, Colin got his wish. She nuzzled into him, letting their scents mix into a beautiful perfume that filled his lungs with comfort. She was so warm, as much as it kept on surprising him. He wondered if she was warm just because she was his? Would anyone else find her warm?

      At the thought of another touching his mate, a quiet growl rolled out of his chest, causing her to jump away. Within that second, she was on the other side of the room, her dark blue eyes wide. "Did I hurt you?" she asked, her voice small and terrified. 

      Guilt covered his face as he shook his head and stood up. She took another step back, breaking his heart. "No! It's dumb," he replied sheepishly, rubbing his neck. 

      "I don't want to hurt you." 

      His heart broke again, but this was different. She was so worried for him because of who she was. She didn't trust herself to not hurt him eventually, and she was petrified that any moment would be the moment that she finally did. 

      "You're going to think I'm crazy." She cocked her head, still uneasy. "I just sort of, well. I thought about someone else holding you." 

      All the fear melted away, and she laughed. Colin sighed, relieved. She was next to him again, touching his arm with a playful smile. "And that made you, that made you mad?" she teased.

      He cleared his throat, embarrassed. "Wolves are, we get possessive over our mates. Especially those with Alpha blood. And it's worse before marking each other." 

      As soon as he said the last words, he regretted them. He hadn't even begun to approach that topic with her. Did she even know about it? Would she ever want to? To him, marking was beautiful. It was intimate and loving. But he saw her eyes drop to the ground. 

      "I didn't-" he began. 

      "Can I meet the rest of your family?" she asked. 

      Colin knew that she wanted to change the topic, and he was more than happy to oblige. Anything to keep her from saying that she didn't want to be marked by him. He nodded enthusiastically. "Cillian invited us over for breakfast tomorrow. I didn't want to pressure you, but if you're up for it, I can text him!" 

      Claire smiled. She looked back at the couch, and then again towards his bedroom. "I suppose we should go to sleep then," she suggested, surprised by how nervous she sounded. 

      "Do vampires need sleep?" he asked, immediately kicking himself for sounding like such an idiot; he would have to find some proper books on vampires. 

      She only snickered and covered her mouth to hide the wide grin. "I would think that you would have avoided watching Twilight because of the light it painted wolves in too!" she teased. "We sleep, eat, use the restroom, and even age." 

      "I thought vampires were immortal?"

      She shrugged, "We age slower. A year is like a month to our bodies, but we do age."

      Nodding, Colin stood up and began to move the coffee table. As he did, he caught the confused look on her face. "It's a pullout. You'll take my bed." 

       Although he was disappointed by the relief on her face, he was still happy just to make her comfortable. If that was all he could do for now, then he would do the best he could.