Good news Bad news

[Welcome back to the land of the living you only died twice. Admittedly for a few seconds but they still count. So what do you want first the good news or the bad news?]

This shit head is the first thing that greats me. I coulda done with a busty blond honestly where is power girl when you need her. "Gimme the bad news first i know your itching to"

[ So the human body even if it gets to become full Kryptonian will not have the same power set as a natural one. At this portion where your limiters are until your body fuses with the DnA further is silver age superman. Since we all have our geek card firmly in hand when you arnt choking the chicken that means leap tall buildings in a single bound, faster then a locomotive, and bullet proof.]

"That isn't to bad so where am I now?"

[ Little stronger then when Kal-El first crashed on earth]

"That is awesome now why am i gonna blow up"

[Because you knuckle dragger your not integrated enough to have a limiter yet. Your like a tiny water balloon that will reach the fill line then pop. ]

Alrighty then. Time to get some SPF 2 million i guess. " Gimme the good ,and maintain the snark or i shall mentally scream to Brittany spears songs on repeat."

[ Wow i was an ass true but you sir have delved down to cruel and unusual at a rate faster then when Lucifer was cast down. The good your eyes simply can not be converted you have limited X-ray when you hit that point but no laser vision. Period. Now what you can do is moved that solar energy around your body and focus it into objects like right now give your fist a little bit more kick. Also for your broken ass oped-ness the suite Jor-El gave you comes with 2 nice additions basically a six shooter , and a proto-saber. Basically your a battery the suite for now has greater storage the sixshooter and proto-saber charge off the suite. When you fire all six shots it takes a full day to recharge unless you dump your own solar energy into it ,btw not suggested that shit takes time to accumulate so no unless its a emergency. Most of the power goes to the proto-saber but that only has 3 min charge until the suite builds up the energy. I know your geaking but proto saber is the closest thing to call it in kryption speak i cant fucking pronounce it think proto type light saber it has wires and a battery on your hip.]

"Okay me like. If i remember right new 52 super man just put the emblem on his chest ill just do that." At this point i realized i fucked up Something was different with this suit, and back down i went with a cocoon around me for about ten seconds of pain before it disintegrated around me.

"Please tell me wtf that was i think that was the worst ten seconds ever in my life"

[ I bet thats what she said last night! Oh yes that was a solid one. Now Jor-El was a bit of an ass i think best thing i can think of he put The Guyver in the honeymoon sweet with Venom and your suit is the love child. Basically a self healing suit of armor that can adjust its shape. I think Jor-El did bad things to make this and took from many universes to make it happen. Thats why he decided to kick the bucket copy right infringement. I want you to know your a lucky piece of shit and i hate you. That said it means we live longer and to put into perspective were only mid epsilon. A big boost but were just starting.]

" I can dig this now make my suite black with silver belt buckle with the crest and make the cape into a trench coat a deep deep dark red" Now that this is frickin done with lets get out of this store 4 hours have passed since i first passed out.