Chapter 13: Self-control

Ever since that outburst while sitting on Leo Starr's lap, Stella noticed she was behaving more and more abnormally.

Waking up at six in the morning to listen to half an hour of financial news with Leo, even though it sounded like gibberish to her; instead of sitting comfortably on the couch, she'd move a small stool into Leo's study to read; she even insisted on going night running with Leo despite barely managing to run fifty meters during fitness tests.

Such instances were countless.

After several deep reflections, Stella finally realized her behavior could be described as—clingy.

She was utterly shocked.

Since her mother passed away, she hadn't experienced this in at least ten years, and she was no longer an eight or nine-year-old child. She was twenty-one! This was not at all like a modern, independent woman!

Although Leo had told her she could do whatever she liked and was very patient with her, Stella had been reserved for so many years that she felt uneasy.

She glanced at the teacher adjusting the courseware on the podium, then pulled out her phone to search for the keyword "clingy."

[What to do if your girlfriend is too clingy?]

[My boyfriend's clinginess is suffocating me.]

[Never date someone clingy like this!]

[I feel so clingy, is it annoying?]

[Is your partner too clingy? Three tips to get rid of them!]

…

Reading through these results, Stella's heart sank.

"Annoying," "suffocating," "can't stand it"… not a single positive feedback on the whole page.

She swallowed hard and clicked on the most replied thread, [What to do if your girlfriend is too clingy?].

[Original Post]: I've been with my girlfriend for six months. She's younger than me and I'm her first love. She likes to tell me trivial, meaningless things; follows me everywhere I go; I can't get a moment's peace; and she's very emotional, cries easily, and takes forever to comfort… I'm so frustrated, mentally and physically exhausted. What should I do?

… Oh no.

Young, follows everywhere, emotional, needs comforting… isn't that just like her?

And the "rambling about trivial things," she seemed to have just talked Leo's ear off about the seven stray cats on campus, their names, colors, and habits this morning before heading out.

What was Leo's reaction? He had said, "Be careful when feeding them, and tell me if you get hurt." As patient as ever.

Leo was great, but she was so greedy—wanting to be close to him yet not wanting to annoy him.

Taking a deep breath, Stella continued to read the comments.

The first comment: [It's only been six months, that's still the honeymoon phase, so it's normal for her to be clingy. If you really can't stand it, just talk to her. Relationships need mutual adjustment, right?]

Stella nodded, that made sense. She could talk to Leo about adjusting.

The second comment: [Break up, if you don't like it, there's no point in trying to adjust.]

Stella: ???

Further down:

[Well, it depends on whether you still like your girlfriend and want to continue the relationship.]

[+1, adjustment is based on feelings. If you don't like her, no matter what she does, it'll still annoy you.]

[My ex said I wasn't clingy enough when we first got together, then said I was too clingy when we broke up. It was all just excuses.]

[Break up +1, sometimes it's not helplessness, just lovelessness.]

…

She was doomed.

She and Leo didn't have a foundational relationship. If she continued being clingy, would divorce be the only option left?

With a sigh, Stella leaned her head against her textbook.

Anna nudged her, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," Stella closed the app, "Just thinking 'a woman must be strong'."

"What nonsense," Anna didn't take it seriously and pulled out her phone, "By the way, I found something useful on the school forum. You might need it!"

Stella opened the link Anna sent, "'Marriage Law Lecture - How to Properly Catch a Mistress,' what is this?"

Anna explained, "It's a marriage law tutorial with loads of practical info, like how to keep dowries and bride prices in your control, how to get the best compensation in a divorce, how to deal with mistresses… it's all essential knowledge for modern women!"

Stella was surprised, "We have posts like that on our school forum?"

Anna beamed, "Of course! Our forum is full of talented people, especially in the relationship section. Post a request for advice, and you'll get experts from psychology, sociology, neuroscience, genetics… as many disciplines as our school offers, that's how many perspectives you'll get. It's amazing!"

An idea sparked in Stella's mind.

Ten minutes later, a new post appeared on the forum's homepage.

[Help][Marriage]: What should I do if I always want to stick to my husband?

[Original Post]HighMountain:

As the title says. My husband and I basically got married right after meeting through a matchmaker, no dating, no emotional foundation. I'm still a student, but he's been working for a few years and is quite busy. I'm afraid I might be bothering him, so I want to know how to adjust myself. Thanks!

#1 HandWithScent:

Let me just say: whoa, a married student?! Ahem, pardon me. How clingy are we talking about? And how does your husband react? Can you give more details?

#3 HeartfeltPrince:

This is the first time I've seen a "marriage" tag on the forum [shocked.jpg]

#5 AbsoluteTruth:

Who says no one likes it? I'd love for my girlfriend to cling to me if I had one [strong smile.jpg]

#9 [Original Poster]HighMountain:

Sure, for example:

I want to watch financial news with him, but I don't understand it, so he explains all the terms and concepts to me;

When he's working in the study, I want to stay with him, so he clears half the desk for me to study beside him;

And I go night running with him, but I can't keep up… so he stops running and walks with me instead.

Oh my god, I sound so annoying [cover face.jpg]

Just as the bell rang, signaling the end of class, Stella put away her phone, bid her roommates goodbye, and walked back to the apartment. On her way, she unexpectedly ran into Jack.

"Stella!" Jack called out to her, "I need to talk to you."

Stella had to stop.

Jack's expression was complex, "You're not living in the dorm anymore?"

Stella nodded.

"Where are you living now?" Jack asked.

Stella replied indifferently, "That's my private matter."

Jack remained silent for a moment before asking, "Are you really in a relationship?"

Strictly speaking, it wasn't exactly a relationship, but Stella didn't feel the need to explain, so she simply said, "Yes."

Jack smiled, his expression ambiguous, almost mocking.

Stella didn't care about his thoughts and turned to leave, "If there's nothing else, I'll go now."

She had only walked a few meters when Jack suddenly sneered, "Stella, a girl should learn to respect herself."

Damn it!

Stella turned abruptly, "Who are you saying doesn't respect herself?!"

Jack ignored her questioning, waved dismissively, and drove away.

Fuming, Stella returned home and downed two bottles of chilled chocolate milk.

Don't get angry, she told herself, don't let irrelevant people affect your mood.

After a few moments of calming down, she opened the forum and saw that in the short time since she posted, her thread had already received dozens of replies.

#14 IWantToBeInARelationship

Where can I find a husband like that? On HarmonyMatch or LoveConnections?

#25 CaringPrince

… I've been shown off. Is this really a help post?

#36 GossipMaster

Save post for reference!

#47 SweetnessDetector

Aww, reading this makes me want to get married.

#56

Whoa, what a divine couple!

#63 AbsoluteTruth

What are you worried about, OP? Your husband sounds great!

Stella nodded like a chicken pecking at rice. Yes, yes, Leo is indeed great, but…

#65 [Original Post]HighMountain

But I'm afraid I'll become insatiable, and then cling to him more and more, and eventually, he'll get annoyed with me [crying.jpg]

#68 HandWithScent

Don't be too anxious, OP. You can test your husband's tolerance. Once you find that balance, just make sure not to cross the line!

#70 [Original Post]HighMountain

@HandWithScent, how should I test it?

#71 HandWithScent

For example, make some requests and see at what point he starts to refuse or shows resistance. That way, you'll know the boundary!

Stella was thoughtful.

After dinner, Leo had to handle some unexpected work. He reminded Stella to go to bed early and then went to his study.

But Stella, with her mind preoccupied, found it hard to sleep.

Close to midnight, she heard Leo return to the bedroom. When she opened her eyes, she saw him coming out of the closet with some clothes, heading back out.

She quickly sat up, "Leo, where are you going?"

Leo paused and walked over, "Did I wake you?"

Stella shook her head, "I haven't slept yet… are you going to the office?"

Leo replied, "No, I thought you were asleep, so I was going to the guest room to wash up."

Only then did she notice he was holding his pajamas and a change of underwear. Her heart warmed, "It's okay, you can wash up here."

"…Alright."

Fifteen minutes later, Leo, smelling of shower gel, lay down and turned off the bedside lamp.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, "You usually fall asleep by now."

Stella steadied herself, facing him as she lay on her side, "I… I wanted to wait for you to sleep."

Leo smiled and turned to face her as well, "Alright, let's sleep now. You have class tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

The room fell silent.

Thinking about the forum's advice, Stella silently cheered herself on. Then she inched closer to Leo and hooked her finger onto his sleeve.

Sensing something, Leo held her hand.

A few seconds later, Stella moved even closer, almost shoulder to shoulder with him.

Leo was a bit surprised.

Usually, this little girl only snuggled up to him unconsciously in her sleep. She rarely took the initiative to get so close while awake. What was going on today?

"Leo," Stella called softly.

"Yes?"

Going all out, Stella clung to him, her face burning red in the dark, "Could you… hold me while we sleep?"

Leo was momentarily stunned, not responding immediately.

So this is the boundary, she thought dejectedly, letting go and preparing to move back. But then, strong arms reached out and pulled her into an embrace.

"Alright, I'll hold you to sleep." Leo's voice carried a smile, his chin resting against her forehead, warm breath mingling with hers.

Stella's heart pounded fiercely, and she clung tightly to his waist, her face buried in his neck to hide her smile.

Leo gently stroked her trembling back, as if soothing a child, patient and tender.

Stella felt her heart melt like a marshmallow, sweet and gooey. She looked at his prominent Adam's apple, couldn't resist, and kissed it, "Goodnight, Leo."

Leo's body stiffened momentarily, then he subtly shifted his hips back and pressed a hot kiss to her brow, "Goodnight, Stella."