You are the love of my life (ART)

Natsuo watched as the breathless and drenched white-haired man emerged behind the corner. Jiro raised his hands in surrender, his face contorted with emotion as he stared at the familiar individual in front of him.

"Just... listen to me, let me - " the man wheezed, but the other one shouted and interrupted him.

"No!"

The sky quietened in response as if it was eager to hear their exchange. The thunder had stopped roaring and the wind eased, offering them an opportunity to talk without the distraction of the weather.

Both men panted heavily, their chests heaving as they stood in the drizzle, gazes directed at one another.

"Why did you come here? I wanted to think things through alone," Natsuo scowled.

"You didn't answer me on the phone, so - "

"Can't you just respect my wish?" the blue-eyed man spat out.

"Look, I understand why you don't want to listen, but I'm only here to explain myself, not to make you believe me. I won't try to change your mind, I just want you to understand my perspective."

Natsuo was hesitant, not knowing what to expect or if he should believe the person who had betrayed him so brutally. Jiro stared at his runaway boyfriend thoughtfully as if trying to figure out what was racing through his mind.

"After that, I will leave you alone and you can think about whatever you need to. I won't ask for anything more than that," the man promised.

Natsuo eventually gestured with a tiny nod, his expression still unreadable, but his stance slightly less defensive. His sign suggested that Jiro could go ahead, so he took a deep breath and began to tell his story.

"My entire life... has been spent fighting something. My family, my school, the whole yakuza. My fuel came from the darkness I thought was my only friend."

His tone was calm and gentle, but with an underlying firmness that made it clear that he meant what he said.

The voice inside Natsuo's head warned him not to listen, telling him that the man would only hurt him - but despite the cautions, he found himself unable to look away.

"I accidentally saw you when you fainted on that street. Since I no longer had my parents to blame, I was angry and accused you of all my troubles. Because in high school, you and the others... you made my life miserable. Even if I knew you weren't responsible for everything. Because of my past, my struggles, I wanted revenge, no matter who was to blame," Jiro sighed, his eyes dim with despair.

He then took a small pause, before speaking more softly.

"I wanted to make you feel the same pain I had endured, the same loneliness that ate me alive. I wanted to make you feel the same darkness that consumed me… until I fell in love with you."

Suddenly, all the noise inside Natsuo's head fell silent, making room for the man's soothing voice to fill him like a healing balm. He stared at him speechlessly - the look in his pale brown eyes begged for forgiveness, pleading with him to accept him and his inner demons.

"I felt like you understood me and could see beyond me like nobody else had. You were there for me. You listened. You became my family, my companion I craved my whole life. I know this sounds strange, but I feel like you were sent to me for a reason. All I wanted to do was fight for you, not against you."

Jiro gave a glum smile, pulling his lips downward as unshed tears glistened in his eyes.

"And fuck that felt good."

There was a tug of war inside Natsuo - one side urged him to stay and listen to what the other man had to say, while the other side shouted at him to run away and never look back.

"I want to be there for you, fight your battles, and protect you from the darkness I once welcomed. I know I messed up and you have every right to be angry with me, but..."

Tears spilled down his cheeks and his voice trembled with emotion as he continued.

"You are the love of my life and I will do anything to become yours."

Natsuo didn't remember seeing him appear so vulnerable and fragile - his usually composed demeanor had shifted to utter anguish. He watched as tears flowed down his face, joining the rain pouring down around them.

"Can I... say something?"

Jiro stood motionless and gazed at his beloved with a heavy look, seemingly bracing himself for whatever reaction or response the young man may have.

"At first... I thought you had a secret motive for me. I didn't think you would have offered me all that just because you were such a kind person."

Jiro cast his eyes downward as if ashamed of his past actions. Natsuo took a deep breath, before letting out a sigh.

"Since I had no family of my own, you became my family as well... and beyond what I could have imagined. Learning the truth like that hurt so much... when you were planning to kill me."

The rain poured down around them and enveloped the couple with gentle sound, but it didn't ease the tension they shared. The heavy silence between them was like a wall, ready to burst and flood the air with words that could break them apart forever.

The tattooed man spoke in a blank voice, almost like he repeated something he had rehearsed countless times before.

"I will buy you a safe place to live anywhere you want. I will ensure you have a secure home and all the necessities you need. The only thing that matters is that you are safe and happy."

Natsuo felt an ache in his throat and his eyes burned with tears.

"But that doesn't make me happy."

Jiro lowered himself to his knees and pressed his head to the wet pavement, his body shaking as he released a loud sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he cried over and over again.

Natsuo watched quietly, his heart breaking for the man he had grown to care deeply about. He was reminded of the incident when the scared little ghost did exactly the same thing in the school's hallway when his bully teased him to apologize better.

"I will prove myself to you. I will do everything I can to show you how much I love you," Jiro begged in tears without looking up.

Natsuo stepped forward and knelt down in front of his boyfriend. Ultimately, he allowed his emotions to take control of the battle within him. He could only hope it was the right choice, even as the other part of him still screamed at him to turn back.

He cupped Jiro's face with his hands and lifted his face from the soaked asphalt. His expression softened as he looked into those familiar eyes and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Just... don't be dishonest anymore."

"I won't," Jiro whispered, remorse still mingling in his voice.

Natsuo leaned forward and sealed their lips with a tender kiss. The rain kept cascading around them, but neither of them seemed to care - all that mattered was that moment and the promise they had made to each other.

(art)