Fish Guts

December 25, 2043:

Romeo loved Juliet even despite her cruel deception, offing himself in a heartfelt moment. Bonnie, head over heels for Clyde, tagged along to the very end with the one she loved, losing all, gaining none.

What about us? Arrissa and Daimion. Love like this can not last forever... Love with a motive. I use her, she uses me. What are we exactly? Is this something I can truly deem as love, lust at a moment.

A full six-month past since the day I promised Arissa my heart and soul, I no longer had to indulge in boring flirtations and sex, drinking to my mind was numb, now her devoted boyfriend. We came so far to the point; I sit next to her on a Christmas morning, staring at the presents under a lit tree, smelling fresh bake cookies on a tray, her mother holding onto it, stepping in front of me.

"There's chocolate chips." Her hand moves an edge closer to me, telling me to take one.

Chocolate chip cookies, cold milk on a glass knee high table, Arrissa younger brother ripping wrapping paper off box along her baby brother clothed, playing with the two large toy cars she bought for him yesterday... This sensation is family like. Something I'm never once experienced... Who knew scum like me could ever.

-"Big bro, big bro!" The fireplace crackle bricks of stacked wood, as the toddler, one of Arrissa's little brothers raises a small box in his left hand, marching over to me.

He grins stupidly from ear to ear, idolizing me from the very moment I walked in here for some odd reason. His eye color is also strange, an odd ball all around.

"Is that for me?" He's just a kid... Kids act like this all the time, clinging to whoever looks the coolest to them. So broad, so rude.

".... Yeah." Now he's meekly, shutting his lips, looking to the floor. "Big sis talk a lot'bout you. So..I-I got this for you! Thanks for taking care of her!"

He forces the little box into my lap, rushing to his mother side, nearly knocking the tray out of her hand, hiding from me.

I grab a cookie off the plate, looking at the kid who stares at me intensely behind his mother's leg, blushing in red.

"Thedore. It's rude to stare." She takes her son by the shoulders, pulling him up to me. The boy fidgets and avoid looking me in the eyes.

He can't see how much of a scum I am... otherwise, you would be screaming to stay away from her instead of thanking me. But of course, that's just like the mind of a child, hiding in the ideal of purity.

Arrissa giggles behind my ear, softly charming. "I'm pretty sure he wants you to open his gift."

Obviously. I'm just taken aback. Didn't expect a gift from anyone, in fact, this is my first gift I ever received on Christmas... The old hag really wasn't one for gifts.

I open the lid on the fancy green box, finding a poorly made bracelet inside. One art teacher's force you make in class. A scratchy brown leather tangled, wreath in green purple and red. A bit of orange as well. -Eh? is this a bead too? Kinda looks like a pearl.

-I hold my hand over my mouth, keeping myself from laughing at it, looking over to the boy who eyes brighten at the thought of my happiness. Ha, this gift is pure garbage, but...

"Wow, would'ya look at that," I put the thing on my wrist, holding it up for all to see. "It really suites me." I couldn't let my number one fan down.

"Really? You like it?" Arrissa eyebrow raises, concerned if I was dropped as a kid. "It hand made." She chucks up another laugh, along her mother.

"See Thedore," Despite her daughter's words and herself perking up a laugh, she bends down offering the boy a cookie. "You were nervous for no reason. He likes it."

His eyes glow, overjoyed. "Really! Do you really like it?!"

Thedore wouldn't stop jumping. A sincere smile, a heart as naive as the glow around him.

What a nice family to have.; Is all that came to mind, laughing along them. I wouldn't mind, if it always be this way. I want to cherish this feeling. Buy it at a store if I could. My first true happiness.

Makes me wonder, why on that day we met, the girl beside me cried on her knees. Or even now, why she wouldn't let go of my hands. If her family is so generous, their thoughts must be as well.

-My hand slips out of Arrissa's, only to feel her latch back onto it, breaking out of laughter to a terrifying glare.

Her eyes screamed; This is the worst time to let go of her.

March 5th, 2044 Dimond city's public park:

Three months later, her hand doesn't falter from mines, refusing to leave my side as we watch Thedore play near the slide, kids chasing each other in a game of tag.

When I was younger, the thought of going to a playground was out of question... If it didn't make her money, nothing mattered to that woman.

-"Cicada's... Even though it's still winter..." Arrissa hand tightens around mines, muttering on the whisper of s's looking to the sun above us.

"They're more populated here than any other district." I tell, closing the distance between us both.

She leans on my shoulder, looking pass my nose. "How do you know? I thought you were an Opal district kid." Arrissa rubs her head on my shoulder, putting our hands on my leg. "Too charming to be a Diamond city boy."

Sadly I am. "Grew up in this very area."

Her head jumps off my shoulder. "You're kidding! For how long?"

Cute, she didn't recognize until now... Might be weirder to tell her that my parents lived not too far from this park. I wonder what she would do if I told her a friend of mines is guy she fucked and that he told me about her a few months ago. Dam, that asshole, if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be in my arms right now.

Too bad we're no longer friends, otherwise I would've thanked him...

"Twenty-two years so, practically all my life. My mom Ava-

-Whining breaks out, kids running to their parents from the playground, pulling me off the bench.

"Sweetheart what's wrong?" A woman standing next to her, bends to her weeping daughter, checking if she was okay.

She doesn't have a scratch on her, but her face is red terrified of something.

"He tore the bird, mama. he tore the bird."

-I feel Arissa's hand rip out of mines, I face her to find her eyes gazing at something else, over to where more children cried and ran from. There is Thedore, alone, hands covered in vibrant red.

-She doesn't hesitate, Arrissa fly to her brother, grabbing hold of his wrist. "Theo!!" She pulls them away from his chest, a lifeless corpse falling out of it hitting the floor.

Feathers in a puddle of blood, guts, worm like, creature's chest pumping up with the little life it has. I never seen this before, death... But i gain this feeling of familiarity. My fingers fuzz, my lips numb.

G- "Gorgeous, isn't it gorgeous." Thedore's eyes glowed exactly like the day when he gave me the gift on my wrist, colorful and full of joy. he felt his words skin deep, that what he done was beautiful.

I stayed in place. Arrissa didn't know what to say. Silent, the screams of cicadas make my teeth ache. I somehow recall this feeling, the image of the bird gutted open reminding me of him... Him who? A man... A man I can't remember- Damit, that woman again...

-"Big bro," Thedore calls to me, I gaze up seeing Arrissa fallen to her knees like the day I saved her. "It's pretty! Isn't it?"

That bird, that crow, pretty? Wouldn't it look more prettier alive? What's wrong with him. Their guts are hanging out, pink, mushed and gushing red. Their eyes fight for life, turning back, blacking it's light. -But, alluring. I do see something I never seen before in it...

-Arrissa cracks her neck to me. Did she hear what I just thought? Are you listening right now?

I step towards her -"Go!" She shouts at me before i could even let out a word. "Go to the hotel... I can handle this, on my own."

April 12, 2044; Dimond District Hotel:

The day Thedore ripped apart that crow in the playground was the last day I seen Arrissa. My calls go straight to voice mails, and I went by her house only to find out she no longer lived there.

Was it that easy? Leaving me hanging like this, never telling me goodbye. Were my thoughts that repulsing?

...Repulsing. Where did I hear that word before? Ah, right, my mother. What a cruel thing to say to your son, when all he wished for was your attention. Look at me. Now I'm all alone, because you couldn't teach me a simple thing called sympathy.

I roll over in bed, grabbing a pillow away from underneath my head into a cuddling pose, fondling the pillow in between my arms.

Arrissa, how long do you plan to play this game, don't you need me to silent your voices. She'll come back... She has to.

I close my eyes, dripping into the cracks forging in my heart. This room that was once paradise, feels like hell.

2030; Dimond City, Fourteen years ago:

Empty. The streets, the houses, the sky. I remember it was around the time airplanes no longer could fly across to each district, leaving anyone who wanted to run away, stuck in a house of nothing.

However, I had something. A pet hamster I fed to my pet snake, a golden exclusive game boy and a mini fridge stacked with snacks. My bed was king sized and the gum I chewed on were branded. Extinguisher's lime green flavor.

In the room next door, the living room, you could catch ear of a woman shouting, "A winner" to the top of their lungs, stomping around along a group of friends.

Even with all the trinkets in the world, I still lacked one thing as a kid, attention. Love from his mother.

-"Buy you a couple of things then, I'm busy."

Busy? Aren't you just gabbling away crumbs from your pocket right now? She'll fuck this man right after anyway, getting the money back.

Disgusting. "Repulsive." She called me, when I snuck in her room after having a nightmare. Her face full of disgust to her own child, finding me cuddle next to me. "Don't touch me!"

She pulls her covers over her away from me.

Don't children usually hug their mother, sleep next to them when they're afraid. I cried sorry to my mother despite knowing the fact to be true.

One rainy day, along the group of friends she cracked beers open with on Sunday nights, my room door opens and the light flicks on. Before me, wearing a business uniform unbutton from the collar, face bashful red and having a round face, a woman froze on my carpet.

I pulled my cover to my chest wearing footed pajama's smelling the alcohol coming from her hot breathing.

-"I-I'm sorry..." Her forehead falls to her palm, rubbing, confused. "Looking for the bathroom."

My widen eyes point to my bathroom, clueless if she wandered in here to rob the place or really was clueless. I was scared but taken by how she looked. If it was a man, i might have screamed to my mother. But she wasn't. She was a woman who made my heart flutter the moment I laid eyes on her.

Her brown luscious hair vanishes into my bathroom, shutting my room door.

A stranger uses my restroom. Will I get yelled at for this, letting her come in here? Do mom even care that someone is in here.

-The toilet flushes and the bathroom door open. The woman walks out, refined, fresh in just her dress shirt. The navy-blue suit she wore sat on top of my toilet. She spies my toys in the corner of the room, my T.V on the wall, back to me.

"Damian... Am I right?" She's mor leveled headed, grabbing a photo of a family picture i took years ago, gaze going cold. "You are my boss's son."

She puts the photo back in its place, a grin forming on her face, gaze eating me under seconds. "I'm Ava, I live next door to the both of you. Well, sleep tight now."

She leaves out my room, lights remained on and her suite in my bathroom.

Ava... That name clouds my brain.

April 13, 2044; Dimond City Hotel:

Why did I dream of the devil all of a sudden?