CHAPTER 6

“I do.”

“I do”

What were the words in between? It was a couple of hours ago.

I was staring at his back.

“For a wedding it does not have that ambience, right?” Someone was talking to someone.

Who cares? I did. Not anymore. But that someone was right. It looked like a teenager party.

Janice was dancing, drinking, giggling...with some of her friends.

She had everything I ever wanted.

I looked back to Robb...Robert. He was sitting there. Not dancing, not drinking and definitely not giggling.

Weren’t they supposed to dance together now? The slow music was being played.

I stood up to leave. There was so much my heart could handle. Aunt was not seen since the “I do’s”.

I could relate to her.

Oh, Janice wore the first wedding gown on the altar. The new one made her a caterpillar. The material inside was bulging on unwanted places. But nobody cared anymore.

Everything was done and sailed.

I hope I could too.

I unlocked the room. I locked it right after getting in. I was worried someone might come in again.

No he would not. He got married.

He was staring at me during the dance. Not that he danced.

He sat legged crossed like a don and watched my every moves like a predator.

Janice was still dancing and partying.

Being the errand boy, I went from cleaning a spilled table to carrying a young girl’s purse while she ran around. The last one made me happy though.

As happy as I could get with that burning stare.

Then he left.

I rolled my neck. I needed a shower. Maybe a bath.

I took my time cleaning myself. Mostly because my mind kept on slipping and took more time than necessary.

It was okay now, he got married. Everything was okay now.

I walked to bed and stood frozen. Rob...Robbie?

“Robbie, how did you get in?”

“Wanted to see you. Needed to see you.”

I checked the door, it was still locked from the inside. How did he...? He was sitting on my bed.

Tears came out of nowhere.

“What? Are you not done torturing me?” I spat.

“Why are you crying?” He had the audacity to ask?!

“You are inside my room, Robert. Leave.”

He placed his face in his palms. He looked so dejected it tugged on my heart.

He had someone else now, please stop bothering.

“What is it?” I blushed as soon as the question left my mouth.

He sighed. And rubbed his face. “I made a stupid mistake.”

Was he talking about our time together? Why did it hurt so much?

Of course it was a mistake and I did not love it...I did not.

Hearing him saying it was a stupid mistake was making me feel uneasy.

“It is precious to me but the sacrifice I had to make...” He was talking to himself.

I rubbed my eyes. Smeared the tears all over my face.

“It is okay.” I sat beside him and rubbed my hands on his shoulders.

My mind was screaming but I could not leave him. I could not stand him being dejected.

“No, it is not.” He touched my hands. I scooted away and walked to the open window.

“Janice must be waiting for you.” It was their night after all. I did not know thoughts had acidic taste.

I felt him standing next to me. His hands circled my waist. Before I could utter a word, his face rested on the crook on my neck. I turned around to push him off. He felt so dejected.

“Robbie.”

“Please, a moment.”

Was he crying? The pain on my chest intensified. “What is wrong?”

He should be happy. It was his wedding night.

He started pushing me around until I was sitting on a table nearby, not taking his head from my neck. He settled between my legs. This was not the first time we were in this position. But that was before. Today, he was a married man. This was not appropriate.

Ask him to leave. “What is wrong, Robbie. Are you drunk?”

He nodded a ‘no’ and mumbled something. “What?” I thought he was going to answer me. He pressed his lips into mine. I was shocked. I pushed him. He did not move. Why were his eyes so sad?

I did not push him again when he kissed me like this was the last time he would see me. That was true. He had no reason to.

When his tongue requested the entry, I let him. I wanted a kiss from him. One last time.

***

He took more than what he was granted. I felt the softness of my bed on my back. When he let me a take breath, I found himself leaning over me.

“Leave Robbie.” I tried to get up and push him away. My hands tugged on something.

They were tied to the bed post. What??!! How??!!

My bathrobe was untied and I was exposed.

I looked at him with horror.

I was spread on the bed with my hands tied to the bed with... neck ties?

Left one was mine. Other was Robbie’s.

I yanked on them.

“Robbie, let me go. Untie me.”

“No.”

I gulped down the panic. “Robbie, this is...what are you doing?”

He was unbuttoning his shirt. He looked crazed.

God, no.

Please no.

He tugged his shirt away from his body. He was sweating. A light sheen of sweat making him glow. I wanted to touch. I lift my hands...the tug pulled me back to reality.

“ROBBIE.”

I turned and twisted. When he tried to lean on me again I kicked him. Right on his chest. But he took hold of my foot and pressed it harder where his heart was.

I gasped.

“How can anyone be this perfect?” His hands were rubbing circles on my foot. He gently tugged on my little toe with wonder. He looked like he was in trance.

“From your hair to little toe...so perfect.”

“Robbie...”

“Hmm?” He smiled at me.

As if nothing was wrong.

As if I was his wedded spouse.

As if this was the moment he waited for long.

“Please let me go. I beg you. Do not do this.”

He leaned down to gently brush his lips on mine. He sucked on my lips so slow.

“Go to Janice, Robbie. She is waiting for you.” I wish he was drunk. Him being sober and doing this to me, hurts me so bad. I tugged on the ties. Please. I sniffled.

“Shhh...I am with you. Look at me.”

“I do not want to look at you. YOU ARE MARRIED. You fucking asshole. This your first night. LEAVE ME ALONE.”

He started removing his suit pants. I thrashed on bed. “ROBERT. LET ME GO.”

I wish someone heard me. WHY!!!

He was not just going to rub on me this time. He was going to do so much more. I knew.

“I have to make you mine, Ace.”

“DO NOT CALL ME THAT EVER. Please Robert before you do something you would regret.”

“Regret?” He chuckled. “I have many regrets, love, but this...”

“Kiss me, baby.” His tongue dived deep into the warmth of my mouth. He was not drunk.

His lips started dragging all over my face.

Finding my lips so often; fearing they would disappear if he left them alone. His hands were searching all over my body.

I yanked on the ties fruitlessly.

Gentle. He was gentle. He was cherishing this.

This was not right. “Robbie... Please...uuh...stop, please. Before...I... Please...”

Then...

I felt his fingers trying to open me up. I tensed. “Shh...love.” I heard his voice.

He was touching me in the places no one has ever touched me before, somewhere deep inside me.

My pleas falling on deaf ears.

I tried. Please believe. Please.

I tried.

But... In the end...

It did not matter. He was slow and gentle but insistent.

I opened up to his caress. Letting him inside. My own body betraying me.

He was looking like he was seeing God. Praying.

When he undid the ties I did not even know. I bit my lips to bring me back to reality but...but... Robbie pulled them out with his own.

I was far gone. Along with him. Robbie who was not mine carried me away on the waves of my first time.

I was drowned in pain, hurt, anger, betrayal and... and... pleasure.

I clutched my hands on his back, screamed his name, pleading him to leave me alone and came so hard.

“Robbie...Robbie...Robbie...”

Everything was about him. Everything was because of him.

After the storm left us drained, what I thought to be screams to get him off of me ended up being whispers lulling him to sleep on my chest.

The night he was supposed to spend it with the love of his life, he spent it with me.