Unexpected Message

After what happened yesterday, I decided to skip class today. It's Friday anyway, last day of class for the week. I will not fail for skipping one day I guess. I woke up late and my eyes were sore and pluffy after crying til midnight. I just make an excuse to my Aunt that I overslept and I am having a really bad headache so I will skip class today. She doesn't bother asking me questions which I am thankful about. She just said that I should take a rest and take some medicine for my headache. And then she left for work.

I am alone now which made me even sadder. The silence is killing me. Thinking about John made me cry again.

Why can't I stop crying?, I scolded myself.

My tears are heavily flowing and I can't stop it. Fuck, John is not even my boyfriend. Why would I cry this much for someone like him.

He's not worth it.

He's not worth it.

He's not worth it.

I kept telling these words to myself, hoping that the pain and my feelings for him will go away.

John is my first crush. I fell in love with him too. I know from the very start that it is one side love but I did not stop myself from falling for him even more. It's very clear that he can't reciprocate my feelings for him but I am very crazy believing and hoping that one day, maybe one day, I will stand a chance with him. I did not control it and now I am dealing with my broken heart.

He is my first heartbreak.

Thinking about it made me cry again. I just let everything out until there's no more tears left to cry.

After lunch time, I decided to keep myself busy. I washed my uniform, clean the house, and did my assignments for next week. I will be going to the province tomorrow and I will be back on Monday so I need to make sure that everything I needed for Monday is all set. I spent the whole afternoon with that. And somehow, I forgot the pain. I tried not to think about him and I succeeded.

I did not bother to check my phone the whole day. Night time came, I open my phone and I saw messages from Mych and Thon, asking me why I am absent today. There's even a few miscalls from both of them. I believe they have an idea about the real reason why I skip class today but I just told both of them that I am having a really bad headache which is partly true. Maybe because of too much crying. And thank them for checking on me. I also said sorry for the late reply. I know they are worried about me. I haven't told them about what happened yesterday. I just keep it to myself for now. We will see each other on Monday and I will tell them the whole story.

I was on my bed, preparing myself to sleep but sleepiness doesn't come to me yet. I am tired, very tired to be exact after doing a lot of things today but my eyes are pretty much awake. I tried closing my eyes and it's not working.

This is frustrating.

Trying to kill the time and hoping that I will be sleepy in a while, I open my phone and scroll on my newsfeed. I saw a lot of post from my friends. Some of them made me laugh and some of them made me curious. I just brushed the thought, it's their life anyway.

As I was scrolling down, I got bored. I decided to post something on my wall.

"I'm hurt. I'm broken", I began typing. Thinking whether to post it or not because my classmates will think that I am being melodramatic. They know that I don't have a boyfriend. Only Thon and Mych know that about my feelings to John but I don't anyway.

But then, I ended clicking on post button. A few moments laters, some of my friends like the post and a few of my classmates and friends are commenting as well.

"Why?", one of my classmates from History commented.

Mych commented a sad emoticon on my post.

She later posted another comment, "I sent you a message, read it". I will just read it later I reminded myself while still busy reading comments. I did not bother to answer all of the comments on that posts.

I continue scrolling down because I don't feel sleepy yet. That's what I did for like two hours. Not long after that I decided to sleep. It's already 11 in the evening and it's a bit late. I put my phone on the table near my bed. I put it in silent mode so I will not be disturbed. I really need a good sleep tonight.

I was about to close my eyes when I remember that I still havent check Mych message to me. I grab my phone and opened it. I open my messenger and read her message.

"What happen? Tell me about your post. Spill the beans", that's her message. I was typing my reply that I will just tell her the whole story on Monday but a new message from her popped up.

"Tell me now, I can't wait till Monday", she added. What's with this girl. Arrggggh.

Frustrating...

I don't have a choice so I began typing my reply. I told her everything that happened. She was just reading all my messages and waiting for me to complete my story.

Not long after that, she replied, "Cheer up. Maybe she is just her friend. A best friend maybe. Don't think too much."

She send a lot of uplifting messages to cheer me up. She even told me that she's alway there to listen if I need someone to talk to. And somewhat I'm relieved. After a couple of minutes of exchanging messages with her. We decided to sleep and talk everything on Monday.

I was about to put my phone back to the table when a message popped up.

"Hi"....

I was more than shocked when I saw who the sender was.