You can't just shoot a hole into...
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.
Betad by Beans, Priapus, Mike God of Lore, Malcolm Tent, Old man of the mountain
The Guild of Gamers: The Gambler
Chapter 10: You can't just shoot a hole into…
– Sett –
You know, something has been mildly annoying me today, and for the life of me, I can't put my finger on what. Ever since I gave my powers out, it's like something in the back of my mind is upset, but-
[Major Curse of Greed]
You want. What do you want? Everything, anything. All that matters is that your collection grows, your treasure, your wealth. You will find it incredibly hard to do anything for free, hungering for more and more wealth, never satisfied.
Oh, right. I forgot.
Right, I gave away some of my powers.
…meh, they're still my powers; I'm just letting someone else use them. Besides, Emma is mine anyway, so there's no harm in her having one of my powers. I can take Minefield and Augmentation back whenever I want, so it's not like I've actually given them away.
Shrugging to myself, I wander through the PRT building. Emma and Alice are with the PR people, since they want to announce all three of us at the same time. They need to finish picking their Cape names, and Alice needs to work out her costume.
The other Wards are at school, leaving me bored with nothing to do. Well, if all else fails, the Wards quarters has some game consoles.
– Emma Barnes –
Heading back to the Wards quarters, she smiled to herself. Supernova. It wasn't the name she wanted, but it was a powerful name all the same. She wanted a name that would link her to Sett, but a Ward named Supernova was a bold declaration.
She had to become a top-tier Cape to prove that Sett's faith in her was well-placed. She couldn't have a subpar name.
Of course, seeing the PR team offer the dumbest names imaginable was far more amusing when it wasn't her that they were trying to name something absurd.
Alice was practically vibrating with anger after her first meeting with the PR team; that girl had issues, and that was coming from her. The PR team didn't like giving Ward's 'serious' names, and Alice was too arrogant to accept a 'childish' cape name.
"What are you smirking at?" Alice asked, giving her a dirty look as Emma just raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, nothing… firecracker," Emma said, seeing Alice's glare intensify.
"Don't start," Alice growled, and while Emma wanted to keep pushing the bitch's buttons, she paused and reminded herself that she wasn't supposed to be acting like this anymore. Even if this whore had threatened to blow up Sett.
"Don't worry, they tried to call me Matchstick. Just keep fighting against the stupid names, and they'll give up and let you go by something much better, especially since they don't have much time," Emma said soothingly.
"...Matchstick?" Alice asked, making Emma nod.
"Alexandria herself said my power was top-tier, and they wanted me to go by Matchstick," Emma said with a shrug. "Apparently, Wards aren't supposed to have serious-sounding names, so villains take us less seriously."
"I make bombs, and you turn into a miniature sun; a silly name isn't going to change anything," Alice said. It was cute that she thought they were comparable. "Besides, our other teammate can command Scion and has seven thousand powers."
"Sett is certainly a special one," Emma agreed happily; at least Alice understood that.
"You're fucking him, aren't you?" Alice asked, and Emma simply nodded shamelessly. "You and that edgy Ward, Shadow- whatever."
Sophia's name was edgy.
"We are," Emma admitted, head held high. "Why?"
"I want in," Alice replied, crossing her arms as she stared at Emma challengingly as Emma raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that look; Sett's gonna be the biggest thing around. Even fucking Alexandria is hanging around this shithole of a city in the hopes of getting close to him."
Emma preened slightly, happy that Alice understood how amazing Sett was, even as she gave Alice a contemplative look. She was okay looking, but nothing that special, to be honest. As far as Asian girls went, she was kinda plain, but maybe Sett would like her?
"Is that so?" Emma asked, making Alice stare at her. "You've come to the right girl; I'll talk to Sett and test the waters," Emma promised, watching Alice relax slightly.
As they entered the Ward quarters, they both paused at the sight of several ghosts floating around Sett. The ethereal figures looked like Grecian warriors, armed with spears and shields.
"Oh, hey, girls," Sett said cheerfully, holding one of his tomes.
"What the fuck," Alice said simply making him chuckle.
"Oh, my new friends? These are Blessed Souls, my new summons. Cool, right?" Sett asked, making Emma nod.
"Very cool," Emma agreed, looking at the spirits.
"Oh, you might want to avoid the boss lady. I'm not really sure what's going on, but she and Armsmaster seem to be having a disagreement, and not even I want to get in between that," Sett warned, making her blink.
Wonder what they were arguing about?
– Emily Piggot –
Seething, she glared at Alexandria, who simply stared back.
"He might have been undiplomatic about it, but he isn't wrong," Alexandria said, making Emily glare harder.
"It will be a cold day in hell before I let him stick some tinkertech kidneys in me, untested tinkertech at that," Emily spat out.
"Dragon seems to think the tech works, and oddly enough, anything made with Augmentation requires very little maintenance, another quirk of Sett's powers perhaps?" Alexandria suggested. "Already, we're looking at using it to bring many of our crippled PRT agents back into the fold. You, of all people, know how common it is for agents to get crippled; this gives us a chance to put plenty of forcibly retired agents back into action."
She couldn't deny Alexandria was right, but having that tinkering-obsessed antisocial moron show up in her office carrying a pair of kidneys and basically go, 'Let me cut you open,' was not how she wanted to start her day.
"And when it turns out that the tech has some massive downsides, I'll be here with my ruined kidneys to say I told you so," Emily replied.
"Alternatively, you could simply have Sett use his healing power on you. I know your reasons for not having Panacea heal you, not wanting the PRT to be indebted to an independent, but Sett is one of our own. It looks bad to have a very talented healer in our Wards only for the Director to still be crippled," Alexandria pointed out, making Emily scowl.
"I'll think about it," Emily said. She didn't believe for a moment that Sett's healing didn't have some side effects; the term 'too good to be true' came to mind. "Speaking of Sett, you realise the Youth Guard are going to have a fit about him? Ignoring his affair with Emma and Sophia, he actively wants to be in danger."
"The Youth Guard won't be a problem, they're a well-meaning organisation, but meant for Wards far less powerful than Sett. He needs to fight because that's how his Trump power works; it's in everyone's best interests to let him fight. Who knows what powers he could develop? Especially now that he's shown a willingness to share those powers, the PRT should do as much as we can to encourage his growth. As for his liaisons, nobody is getting hurt, and oddly enough, public reception to Sett having a harem is mostly positive."
"Except with Haven, who are on their way here to protest his mockery of their religion," Emily pointed out.
"Sett isn't mocking Christianity; his power names his 'spells', not him. He also certainly didn't choose to become a Case 53 and can't be blamed for his devilish appearance. Haven are a powerful group, but some of their members are very much on the extremist side of things. Most of their group is indifferent to Sett; only a few fringe members are protesting him, a vocal minority," Alexandria replied.
"It's still another problem that Brockton Bay really doesn't need. This city is a powderkeg; adding some religious nutjobs into it is bound to end poorly," Emily sighed. Sure, Haven had plenty of reasonable members, but those members were not the ones heading from the bible belt to Brockton.
"I'm sure the city can handle a couple of protesters. They are unlikely to actually attack Sett; they are heroes, after all," Alexandria said. "The worst case is that they attack the wrong villain, such as Lung, but I should be deterrent enough to keep the villains in line."
It was arrogant, but she wasn't wrong. Between Scion's regular visits to his buddy and Alexandria's presence, the villains of the city had been very quiet lately.
Somehow, she knew it wouldn't last.
– Lisa Wilbourne (Tattletale) –
"I hate to break it to you, but she's genuinely trying to be a better mother," Lisa said, making Brian scowl. "Celia isn't on any drugs. she's even stopped smoking and drinking."
"You have to have missed something; there's no way-"
"Brian, I know you find it hard to believe, but you've even asked your very smart Thinker teammate to check her out after you found nothing, and I'm telling you that she's not on anything. Sett used his healing power on her, and it cleared her addictions," Lisa sighed, glaring slightly at the implication that she'd miss something when dealing with a perfectly regular civilian. "Sett inspired her to be better, and she doesn't want to let him or Aisha down. She has a normal job again, she's not doing any drugs, she's even looking into redoing her college course online."
Brian scowled, but she already knew why. Nobody would give Brian custody of Aisha when his mother was doing so well; all Brian's plans were going down the drain because of a one-off meeting with Sett.
"Just like that?" Brian asked, making her nod.
"Yup, the only thing that stood out to me was how unbelievably horny she is for Sett. She thinks she wants to meet him again to thank him properly for putting her life back on the right track, but honestly? If Sett even smiles at her, her panties will be around her ankles instantly," Lisa said with a shrug, getting an annoyed look from Brian.
She decided to be the better person and not mention that Aisha was just as horny for Sett. Aisha practically worshipped Sett for fixing Celia.
"Look, you asked me to check her out, and I have. Celia is genuinely trying to be better. Do you know how rare that is in Brockton Bay? I know you don't trust her, but maybe give her a chance. You couldn't find anything wrong; I couldn't find anything wrong; maybe it's time to accept that she's really trying?" Lisa said with a sigh, having spent too much time on this already.
Brian just scowled harder, arms crossed. He really wasn't ready to accept that his mother was in a better place, but then again, it was related to his trigger event, so she couldn't blame him, even as he stormed off. Either way, she was done wasting her time with the Laborn family drama.
Sighing to herself, she stretched as she checked her messages. Was Sett just playing hard to get? He still hadn't contacted her, but then again, he'd been busy joining the Wards.
She needed his help to get away from Coil, but thankfully, she was fairly sure that despite being a Ward, he'd still be fighting villains at a regular rate. The PRT's security was laughably compromised and Sett had insisted that he still be allowed in on the action so his power could continue to grow.
Coil was afraid; that much was clear. He feared Sett's ability to break his power, which had finally helped her work out just what Coil's power truly was, and he feared Alexandria and Scion just as much.
Her unwanted boss was cowering in his base, unwilling to leave while Sett was around and messing with his timelines, which finally gave her a chance to break free from his control. She just had to time it right and get Sett's help, which shouldn't be this hard.
She couldn't use her power on Sett, but that didn't mean she couldn't study him and work out what made him tick. Firstly, he was as horny as he looked. His one true vice was women, which she would happily exploit if it meant escaping Coil. She was attractive enough, and she just had to look at how seduction had worked out for Emma.
She'd gone from some nobody to the next big heroine just because Sett liked keeping his friends, and especially his girls, happy. Sett genuinely seemed nice, like he wanted to make things better. Much like she'd just told Brian, that was rare in Brockton Bay.
She wasn't entirely convinced herself, but then again, he was making Coil's life harder, and that alone made her entire month. She had to wonder why Coil was so damn terrified, but honestly, she didn't really care. Anything that made his day harder made her a happy girl.
Now, if only Sett would hurry up and message her.
– Thomas Calvert (Coil) –
Sett was a problem, but unlike what his traitorous Tattletale thought, he wasn't even in Coil's top five problems at the moment.
"What do you want? You said you'd leave Brockton Bay alone," Thomas pleaded, staring at the woman standing in his office, her eyes mostly hidden by her fashionable fedora.
"I'm not sure whether I should kill you," Contessa said, seeming rather happy to not know something.
"I don't understand; why are you here?" Thomas begged, not understanding why she was here. "Brockton Bay was supposed to be mine."
"It would have been if Sett had appeared anywhere else. He's more important than you," Contessa said simply. "Hm, I won't kill you."
Oh, thank god.
"Maybe."
What did this sociopath want from him?!
– Sett –
Feat Achieved: Make Coil Cry. Roll Granted.
…who is Coil, and why is he crying?
Meh, who cares.
Rolling. Result: Minor Curse.
[Curse of Honesty]
You are incapable of telling outright lies.
I have decided that Coil, much like Skidmark, is my enemy. I shall destroy him. I don't like lying, but he will suffer for this anyway. Some quick searches show me that he's some minor villain, and nobody can even tell if he's a real cape or just some dude with a lot of money.
He will suffer for this (more than he currently is since he's already crying like a baby).
Pausing my scheming, I look up as an alarm goes off. Emma pales, but I just blink as I wonder why there's such an annoying sound blaring through the building. Is there a fire?
"That's the Endbringer alarm," Emma says, making me blink. Vicky mentioned those guys; they're the killer kaiju that attack on a schedule, right? Kinda a weird name. "Do you think they'll want us to go?"
Despite her excitement about being a hero, I can tell she's not exactly thrilled by the idea of fighting an Endbringer, but what little I know about them makes it clear why. They're extremely dangerous, like a 50/50 chance of surviving on a good day, dangerous.
"I doubt it. You're a Ward and one that hasn't even been announced yet," I reassure her, giving her a squeeze. "I'm pretty sure they're gonna want me just for transport purposes if nothing else. Better go find the bosses, see where I'm wanted."
She hesitates, obviously torn between offering to go with me and wanting nothing to do with the Endbringers. I just give her a smile and ruffle her hair, placing a light kiss on her forehead.
"You should wait here, better to stay where people can easily get in contact with you, yeah?" I ask, making her nod shakily. She's clearly embarrassed by her 'cowardice', but she shouldn't have to deal with an Endbringer; she's still just a teenage girl, after all.
As for me, it's wrong, but I have only one thought in my head.
How many rolls is an Endbringer worth?
Pulling me in for a passionate kiss, she gives me a concerned look.
"Be careful; we can't afford to lose you," Emma says, making me nod.
"I will, don't worry," I promise, giving her a quick hug before I turn and walk away. I don't get far before I run into a tense-looking Alexandria.
"Sett, good. We need Gatemaker; I've already arranged for the pictures you'll need," Alexandria says, making me nod.
"I'm ready; where and which one?" I ask.
"It's the Simurgh, and it looks like she's targeting Canberra," Alexandria replies, making me perk up.
"That's the Master one, right? I'm completely immune to all Master effects," I say, making her raise an eyebrow. "I'm also pretty sure Salvation clears Master effects."
"I'd love to test that on someone less serious than the Simurgh, but at the very least, it should help," Alexandria says, taking a deep breath. "Are you sure about this? I can't deny that you would be very helpful, but this is an Endbringer attack, and you've not even been announced as a Ward yet. Nobody would blame you if you sat this one out."
"I'm sure. I can't just sit on my hands while people are dying, and this should make my power grow a lot," I say, before blinking. Ah, the Curse of Honesty.
Still, Alexandria just lets out a small laugh and pats me on the shoulder.
"That's the spirit, Sett. Come on, let's get those Gates set up," she replies, giving me a fond look as I smile.
– Rebecca Costa-Brown (Alexandria) –
As Sett got to work, making an entire network of Gates to allow the mass transport of hundreds of capes, she had to admit his power seemingly blew Doormaker's out of the water in pure versatility.
Pausing as she got a message, she opened it and raised an eyebrow.
'Keep Sett alive at all costs; he's more important than you, Legend or Eidolon.'
Ah, Contessa was as blunt as ever. She'd been acting weird since Sett had been created, but Rebecca couldn't help but admit Contessa had clearly struck gold with Sett.
Just the ability to mass transport capes from all over the world made Endbringer fights easier; already, they had far more capes ready for her than they would have had at a normal fight. Strider could only do so much; Gatemaker practically made him obsolete.
Looking up, she scowled at the sight of the Hopekiller herself just hovering. She'd stopped moving when Sett started making Gates, seemingly confused as she just watched from low orbit. Nobody really knew what she was doing, unwilling to let their guards down around the most unpredictable of the Endbringers.
Leviathan and Behemoth were very predictable; they'd arrive and destroy things, but the Simurgh? Even a seemingly overwhelming victory could quickly turn into a devastating loss because they missed her actual objective.
"God, she's unnerving," Legend said quietly, seeing her just staring at them. Her gaze was directly on Sett, which set off all kinds of alarm bells in her head. She was half-convinced to try and send him away, but she decided against it. "What is she waiting for?"
"I don't know, but she's giving us time to set up," Alexandria replied, giving the Simurgh another glare. "This is the biggest response we've ever managed to gather for an Endbringer fight; Sett's power is undeniably a game changer for sheer logistics."
Legend went to reply, but some movement caught her eye as she looked up and saw the Simurgh flying down at record speeds, faster than they'd ever seen her move before. Shouts filled the clearing, countless blasters throwing attacks towards the Hopekiller, which she practically ignored as she zoomed towards Sett.
And yet, Sett was the only one not panicking as he looked up at the descending angelic figure, moving a single arm towards her. He didn't have any notable blaster power, so she wasn't sure what he was doing until it was too late, the Simurgh moving too fast to stop herself from flying through the portal that opened in front of her.
"Sett, where did you send her?" Legend asked quickly, looking around.
"To the moon," Sett admitted, making everyone who could hear him blink. Wait, seriously? "It was the best place I could think of on the spot."
– The Simurgh –
The anomaly was a problem.
Standing next to the bleached flag, she mentally sighed as she looked up at the Earth. This was just irritating; it would take her so long to get back. She couldn't predict him, all her predictions were thrown out of the window when the red bastard had just dumped hundreds of new capes near her target.
If only she wasn't limited by her creator's ego, but with a small frown on her face, she took flight and headed in a straight line for Canberra once more, unwilling to go at her full speed in case he pulled that shit again.
She'd have to warn the others; neither of them would be able to escape should he just dump them on another planet.
Cursing the anomaly, her creator and Zion himself for good measure, she started the long flight back to her target.
– Rebecca Costa-Brown (Alexandria) –
Sett had bought them a lot of time; they'd quickly located the Simurgh attempting to get back to Canberra, but even at the incredible speeds she was moving at, it would take almost fourteen hours at the minimum for her to get back.
That gave them several advantages, not least of which was better evacuating the city with Sett using his Gates to empty the Shelters. It also meant Capes that had a large set-up time would be better suited for this fight, with many Tinkers being able to use the extra time to great effect.
The Simurgh basically never changed her expression from that blank stare, so it was oddly satisfying to see her outright frowning as she made the trip back. She wasn't happy at all, which was a pleasing thought.
But delays aside, it wasn't long until she was upon them again, this time trying to head into the city itself. They weren't sure what her target was, but with all this set-up and an almost completely evacuated city, they were more ready for her than they'd ever been before.
Her descent was interrupted once more, a flash of fire announcing the arrival of Pele, the massive phoenix colliding with the Simurgh mid-air, talons digging into her flesh as the giant bird exploded with white-hot flames.
It was hard to tell if she was actually hurting the Endbringer, but the important thing was that she was holding her in place as the Simurgh started to fight back, seemingly enraged by the second interruption.
Sett claimed he was immune to Master and Thinker powers; could the Simurgh just not predict him? She was oddly off-kilter in this fight, meeting set-back after set-back; even now she was being blasted by the many capes who were prepared for her.
Sett had told them that Pele was effectively immortal; even when slain, she'd just be born again, so they could risk friendly fire while Pele delayed the Simurgh.
Still, Pele might be powerful, but she couldn't stop the Endbringer for long, getting hit by countless telekinetically flung pieces of rubble. It was only a matter of time until Pele would lose the bloody aerial battle, and they needed to capitalise on the distraction as much as they could.
Legend and Eidolon were pelting her with blows, along with countless other blasters, and she even seemed to be taking damage from the onslaught, getting increasingly frustrated.
With a scream, she sent out a wave of force, knocking Pele out of the sky and sending the blasters reeling back. The Simurgh looked around, her frown turned to an outright scowl at how this fight was going, and once more, she locked eyes with Sett himself, who was talking to Armsmaster.
Looking between the city and Sett, the Simurgh seemingly came to a decision as she once more dove towards Sett, correctly blaming him for how things were going. Rebecca dove forwards, but in a rather humiliating display, the Simurgh just backhanded her away, sending her spinning through the air as the Hopekiller made her way towards Sett with malicious intent.
And yet, Sett simply opened a portal beneath him and fell into it, the Simurgh once more letting out a scream of frustration, ignoring the hundreds of attacks as she spun around, looking for her target.
Spotting Sett, now sitting on top of Pele, she changed course immediately and started to fly after him. Sett and Pele started to fly higher, leading the Simurgh on an aerial pursuit, but just as she went to pursue, she got a message through the armbands telling all flying capes not to pursue.
What was going-
…what the fuck was that gun?
Looking down at Armsmaster and Dragon, she stared at the weapon of ungodly size that they were both working on, wondering where on Earth it had come from. This was some nonsense, which meant Sett was involved somehow.
They had a plan, and as she looked up at the Simurgh ignoring them all to chase Sett, she just hoped it was a good one.
– Colin Wallis (Armsmaster) –
If there was ever a time to use an untested tinkertech WMD, this was it.
The weapon Sett had pulled out of thin air was frankly an abomination; it was less of a gun and more a defence platform, made to target aerial threats. He didn't know how the BFG-10000 worked, and he highly doubted it was actually called the 'Big Fucking Gun', but he trusted Sett enough to go with his plan.
The Simurgh ignored them all as she chased him into low orbit, Pele flying at incredible speeds, but she'd come to regret disregarding them as a threat soon enough.
"I have her in my sights, ready to fire," Colin confirmed, lining his shot up perfectly. He'd love to study this masterpiece in a less serious situation; it really was an amazing weapon, even if it made his brain scream.
"Fire in 3, 2," Dragon said, watching carefully as Sett went through with the next phase of his plan. A portal opened in front of him, large enough for Pele to fly through, and closed the moment he passed through it. "1, fire!"
Not hesitating, he pressed the big red button, and the entire roster of capes watched the massive cannon charge up, green energy crackling as it fired a beam of solid green light towards the Simurgh, who finally seemed to realise she needed to pay attention to them.
Turning, the Simurgh barely managed to move out of the way before the energy struck her directly in the left side of her chest and went clean through.
For the first time, the Simurgh's eyes widened in shock and perhaps even fear, looking down at where she'd been shot. The entire left side of her upper body was simply gone, along with most of her stomach. Her left arm simply fell from the sky, no longer having anything to attach to, and several of her wings had either been blown off or met the same fate as her arm, falling to the ground.
A silence filled the crowd as they stared up at her. Nobody had ever seen an Endbringer be so badly damaged before, but he didn't let the shock overcome him. She was still moving, after all, and he lined up a second shot as the weapon charged up.
Unfortunately, she was still able to fly despite losing half her wings, diving to the side as the second shot barely missed, and without a second of hesitation, the Simurgh shot into the sky at breakneck speeds, moving incredibly unpredictably as she fled to prevent him from lining up another shot.
A cheer broke out, watching the Simurgh flee in what they could only assume was terror, and a satisfied smile crossed his lips, nodding. A very efficient plan.
– The Simurgh –
What the fuck was that?!
She really hated the anomaly; this was supposed to be an easy target. She arrives, she causes a little biological mischief, the city gets quarantined, and then she leaves.
Not she arrives, gets sent to space, gets gnawed on by a bird bigger than her, then gets blasted with the most bullshit weapon she'd ever seen. That wasn't tinkertech; where had the anomaly found that thing?
Seething, she retreated from the planet. It would take her months to regenerate. Had they hit her right side, it would have hit her core, and that would have been the end of it. Every future attack would have to be done differently on the fear that they had that fucking thing aimed at her.
And, of course, her creator was malding at being outshone. Like that was her fault. 'Attack the anomaly', she didn't fucking think so. She'd tried that, and she was smarter than the other two. She'd survived; they wouldn't. Eidolon could shove his ego up his ass, she wasn't going near that fucker again.
– Sett –
It turns out that blowing a hole in an Endbringer is a big deal because people have been going wild over what Armsmaster managed to do with my weapon. I've answered what questions I can, but really, I don't know where my power found the BFG either.
'My power did it' seemed to be enough for Alexandria, and she kindly helped ward off a lot of the questions. The Simurgh survived, but she didn't achieve her goal; nobody died, and they'd never seen her be so hurt before.
They've already realised they couldn't use the BFG against Leviathan or Behemoth because… well, planet-cracking weapons shouldn't be used on your planet. Somewhere in space, a beam of super-death energy is flying through the void ready to ruin something's day.
Fortunately, it looks like it should miss all the planets in our solar-system, and once it's gone past Pluto, it's someone else's problem. Worst case, I'll take a trip to any planet it is going to hit and make a gate, sending it somewhere else.
It was totally worth it; the stupid (hot) angel got her shit rocked, and more importantly.
Feats Achieved: Drive the Simurgh away from Canberra (Three Rolls). Deal massive damage to the Simurgh (Three Rolls). Prevent Canberra from being Quarantined (Two Rolls).
Simmy, you might be a murderous bitch, but I could kiss you. Eight rolls for one fairly easy fight. First, I'll roll the three to finish my curse quest.
Rolling. Result: Common Perk (Reduced to Junk), Uncommon Power (Reduced to Common), Uncommon Astral (Reduced to Common),
[Penguin Detection] - Junk Perk
You can always find the closest Penguin.
Huh, there's a penguin twenty-seven miles to the south-east. Hey, at least I'll always be able to find the nearest zoo!
[Gender-Bender] - Common Power
You can switch to a female form, which will look like you would have looked if you were born a girl.
Hey, I'd make a hot demoness. Not sure how often I'll be using it, but it's kinda cool. I could use it as a disguise, but somehow, I doubt they'll believe that the red-skinned horned woman isn't connected to me.
[Location: Hot Spring] - Common Astral
I mean, free hot spring? Kinda redundant with Gatemaker, but I won't say no, plus it combined with my palace, so it should be an amazing hot spring.
And more importantly…
[Praise be to RNGesus]
Regain the love of RNGesus.
Objective: Roll Once (Complete)
Optional Objective: Roll Ten Times without removing the curse (10/10) (Complete)
Reward: Curse Removed
Optional Reward: Your curse evolves into a perk
[Blessing of RNGesus]
Whenever you roll a curse, flip a coin, and if you call it right, the curse is reduced by one tier, with minor curses becoming Junk rolls.
Holy shit, a fifty percent chance to lessen any curse I get? Maybe I need to focus on completing my curse quests ASAP if that's the kind of reward it grants me.
Rolling. Result: Junk Astral, Mythical Perk, Uncommon Power, Divine Perk, Uncommon Power
[Terrain: Desolate Plains] - Junk Astral
Okay, a giant inhabitable wasteland is kinda weird, but I'm sure I'll find some use for it eventually.
[Curse Master] - Mythical
You are a natural when it comes to cleansing your curses, making all curse quests easier. In addition, completing a curse quest will grant an extra roll and pity points from curses are doubled. Enables special quests upon curse cleansing.
Speaking of curses… damn. I can feel all my Curse quests changing, but I can check those later. I have more rolls to check first.
[Tinker Speciality: Repair] - Uncommon
You can repair, maintain, and use any Tinkertech you find. You can also combine Tinkertech into something that combines the functions of the two inventions. Any Tinkertech you repair or maintain will, in the future, last longer.
Looks like Armsy is going to get a reward for his part in getting me all these rolls, my curse be damned. My boss did well, he's one hell of a shot and he also didn't hit me, which is much appreciated.
[Mana Incarnate] - Divine
You are a living font of mana, no longer limited in the amount of spells you can cast. In addition to never running out of mana, you can overcharge your spells to make them much more effective.
Ooh, now this opens up some possibilities. I have spells that have an upkeep cost, like Keeper's Mark and Summon Blessed Soul but with this there's nothing stopping me from just summoning thousands of Blessed Souls and giving every single Hero and PRT agent Keeper's Mark.
It definitely opens some doors for me, this could be fun.
[Tracker] - Uncommon
Provided you either know what something or someone looks like or can get an accurate description or name, you can immediately pinpoint where it is and can figure out the quickest and/or easiest way to get there.
Huh, that's pretty cool but I'm not sure how I could… Coil. I'm coming for you, villain who I've never met and know nothing about. You shall pay for giving me a single curse.
Now, my curses.
[Deal With the Yandere (Riley Davis)]
Yanderes are only fun when they aren't trying to stab your friends and lock you up in a small room where you'll only ever see them; better deal with this crazy bitch asap.
Path 1: Don't Stick Your Dick in Crazy (Neutralise the Yandere)
Path 2: Outcrazy the Yandere
Path 3: I can fix her
Reward: Varies based on the path taken
Huh, knowing her name is useful but I have no idea who she is. Guess I can look into her with Tracker and work out why she's obsessed with me.
[Quell your Greed]
Tame your curse of Greed, turning it from a drawback to a strength.
Objective: Become part of the top 5%
Objective: Set up a source of income that makes enough to live an extremely lavish lifestyle
Objective: Have at least 25 servants (2/10)
Optional Objectives: Become part of the 0.1%. Get a treasure hoard worthy of a God-King (at least 50 items, with at least 5 being legendary or above). Have at least 50 servants and an abode worthy of a God-King (Legendary or higher quality).
Reward: Major Curse of Greed evolves into a perk. 3 Pull.
Optional Rewards: 1 treasure-based pull for every optional objective completed
Hey, it's basically halved the requirements, I won't say no to that.
[Satisfy your Lust]
Tame your curse of Lust, turning it from a drawback to a strength.
Objective: Have sex with three different capes (2/3)
Objective: Have sex a total of 25 times (11/25)
Optional Objectives: Have sex with two girls at once (complete). Have sex with two sisters. Have sex with a mother and daughter pair.
Reward: Minor Curse of Lust evolves into a perk. 1 Pull.
Optional Rewards: 3 nice pulls
Again, basically half of what I had before.
[Tame the Dommy Mommy (Sarah Pelham)]
Turn the tables on the dommy mommy, and either convince her you aren't the child she sees you as or make her your sub.
Path 1 Objective: Convince her that you know better than her and that you don't need her guidance
Path 2: Objective: Sexually break your dommy mommy, making her submit to you.
Reward: Varies based on the path taken
Um, isn't that Vicky's aunt? I'm pretty sure I can take her.
— Bonus Scene — PHO
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♦ Topic: Simurgh Defeated at Canberra, gravely wounded
In: Boards ► Endbringer Attacks
Bagrat (Original Poster) (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Posted On Feb 25th 2011:
You read it right, folks, the Simurgh has been dealt a devastating defeat for the first time since she showed up.
Information is still coming in about exactly what happened but I can give you the current intel and will add more as it comes in.
The capes were far quicker to gather due to the power of the soon to be Ward, Sett, from Brockton Bay. He has a power he calls Gatemaker which allows him to set up portals on a Global scale which he used to allow the defenders to rally far faster.
The Simurgh took offence to this and attempted to rush him, but he opened a portal in front of her and deposited her ass on the moon. This didn't stop her, but it did mean she had to take a flight of shame all the way back, taking just over fifteen hours while the capes continued to prepare for her.
Afterwards, she was attacked by Pele, Sett's infamous mount, an Endbringer-sized bird who actually seemed to be hurting her and definitely kept her in place while the other blasters like Legend and Eidolon took advantage of the momentary incapacitation.
[PeleInFlight]
Finally, she decided she'd had enough and once more went after Sett who used a gate to escape to Pele, taking flight away from the seemingly angry Simurgh. This proved to be a trap as Sett had deployed a weapon, giving it to Dragon and Armsmaster.
Sett's power sometimes gives him powerful items, and this one has blown the others out of the water.
[TheBFG]
Sett teleported away again, and with the Simurgh so high up Armsmaster took the shot and landed a direct hit on the Simurgh, the result? See for yourself.
[TheSimurghDefeated]
She got messed up, worse than we've ever seen an Endbringer before, utterly wrecked and was forced to retreat into space where she's currently hiding behind the Moon. Yes, she is regenerating, and yes she survived, but this is the biggest win we have ever had against the Endbringers before.
She retreated with zero deaths, the city does not need to be quarantined, and it seems like she genuinely fears the Big Fucking Gun-10000 (yes, that's what Sett says it's called), so I doubt she'll be so eager to descend again.
For those who want to know more about the most broken Ward in history, his thread is [here], but the TLDR version is that he is a Trump who regularly develops new powers, summons and items like a super-Eidolon. Alexandria has basically moved to Brockton Bay to mentor him, so it's safe to say he's a pretty big deal.
[Sett]
On behalf of all of humanity, thank you Sett and eat shit Simurgh.
(Showing page 1 of 248)
►Space Zombie
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Bro, she got fucked up
I'm gonna be real, I got a boner just looking at the aptly named Big Fucking Gun
►Glory Girl (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Daaaaamn. I didn't realise Sett had actually gone, my mom makes us sit out Simurgh attacks. Doesn't surprise me though, Sett's a big damn hero.
@Panacea, your boytoy just blew up the Simurgh, better get him quick before someone steals him from you ;)
►Clockblocker (Verified Cape) (Wards ENE)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Okay, so my demonic teammate is a fucking badass. Noted.
Note to self, don't prank the guy who could turn Brockton Bay into a wasteland.
►Legend (Protectorate: New York) (Triumvirate)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Sett was instrumental in this attack, and while our calculations have made it clear that using the BFG against a ground-based Endbringer would likely destroy the country we fired it in, his Gatemaker is a game-changer for logistics.
He volunteered to attend this fight, even knowing the risks, a true hero. Canberra stands, untouched by the Hopekiller, thanks to that bravery. The PRT is honoured to have him.
►Laser Augment
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
lolololol get fucked Simmy
who'd win, the Hopekiller or a hot demon dude with a planetary defence cannon?
►Aloha
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Naked angel gets fucked hard by a sexy demon, I'd watch that
►Feychick
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
So, does Sett have a fan club? Or a cult? I'm fine with either, I am 100% down to move to a remote compound and worship big fat demon cock every day for the rest of my life
►Specific_Protagonist
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Reminder girls, Sett's nudes exist out there on the internet (even if TinMommy deletes any links we post)
Big is an understatement
►FlippinMads
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Hail Satan!
The devil is going to have me screaming oh god if I have my way
►CherishMe
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Damn, this new guy isn't playing around. He looks tasty, I might have to have a snack myself
►Panacea (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Really, Vicky? He has two girlfriends already, you know that.
►FlippinMads
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Demon harem, demon harem, demon harem! I volunteer as tribute!
►GstringGirl
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Wow! Sett is so powerful, it's good that Canberra was unharmed <3< p>
►FallenAngel (Banned)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
No, this will not stand!
Our goddess will recover from this blow, and this false idol will pay for his insolence!
►Antigone
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Oh look, the lunatics have come out to play
Your goddess just got fucked by a massive demonic cock until she had to limp away, but I bet she'll be back for more and Sett will be ready to give her a second serving
►FallenAngel (Banned)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Moderator Edit: Comment Deleted
►Mac's Dual Rocket Propelled Grenades
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Credit where it is due, it might have been Sett's weapon (and he was ballsy enough to play bait against an Endbringer), but Armsmaster hit that bitch from a massive distance. Sett obviously knew he could be trusted with my beloved, the Big Fucking Gun
►Logs
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Is no one going to comment on Legend basically saying 'yeah we can't use it against the other two cause we'd blow up the planet'
►Nondeceptive
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
I was trying not to think about it tbh
►TheGreatAisha
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
I was worshipping Sett before it was cool, just saying
►Dragon (Verified Cape) (Moderator) (The Guild)
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Sett understands the danger his weapon possesses, he wouldn't use it without just cause. He's also agreed to allow myself and the PRT to study it, the energy it is powered by is fascinating.
Personally, it was an honour just to help set it up for Armsmaster to fire. Sett did a fine thing today.
►TheGnat
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
So, String Theory if she was cool and didn't want to blow up the moon for some reason?
Man, it sucks that so many powerful capes are lunatics
►Groupies
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
Bro, Haven have been real quiet since Sett blew up the Simurgh lmao
Oi, @Rosary, wanna tell us more about how Sett is a false idol? You can join the Fallen in whining about him
►Winged_One
Replied On Feb 25th 2011:
that weapon is bullshit
End of Page. 1, 2, 3 ... 246, 247, 248
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Author's Note: Simmy didn't have a great time.
I wrote this chapter while extremely sick, so apologies for any dip in quality.
I am entirely motivated by praise and interaction, so leave a review, and I'll probably write faster.
I have a pa treon, where my supporters can vote on which fics get bonus chapters each cycle and have access to advance chapters, up to five chapters ahead of the public release at the moment. Feel free to check it out.
Link: Pat reon .com/ TheDarkWolfShiro
Basic Tier (Employee)
The Tinker, Ch09
Gold Tier (Manager)
The Nightmare, Ch10
The Necromancer, Ch06
Plat Tier (System)
The Supervillain, Ch24
The Warlord, Ch12
I have a Discord server with a bunch of other authors and a load of porn. So much porn.
Here's the link for that: discord .gg/wd3tUYWVCd