8 Newfound Reason

"I will be different. With this, I will be the strongest mage in this world." Is what I want to tell myself.

A few weeks later, I am still as clueless as to what happened that produced that frozen ground that day. I tried every method that might explain everything, but sadly none of them worked.

"What was the determining factor that made it possible that time?" for this reason, I locked myself in my room. Spending a few weeks inside my room made me look like I was heartbroken by the results of the test.

To be honest, I am. Until now,  I still resent myself for being weak but now that there is something that can turn my life around, I try to focus on the future rather than dwell in the.

My room which was once tidy is now filled with papers full of scribbles, and theories of how the frozen ground had come to be.

It is a mess. One would think that it is a dump site for trash at one glance. It did not resemble a room for a teenager at all. But I am determined to know the reason, just like how I trained myself all those years.

"I'm dying. I feel like my head is about to explode." I said to myself. My hands went numb from all that writing.

I turned to the door and imagined how long it has been since my mother opened that door before this year's test came. "They must still think that I am hurt because I failed," I said to myself. I know that they are pained that it ended that way, they are more devastated than I am.

"But this time, it will be different," I told myself with a bold tone. "I just have to figure out what made me produce all that ice though. What a pain in the ass!"

I was alone at our house at the moment so it was okay for me to speak that way. No one will be listening to my whining!

That is what I thought until I heard a pair of footsteps halting in front of my door and a familiar voice called out to me. "William? Do you still plan to lock yourself in your room?"

It was Hannah. She and Mark frequently visited me in the past few weeks. The first week after I lost, they spent a few nights in our house. I heard that they resent their father for not stopping the match when I was injured badly. It was their protest but it ended a few days later when their mother fetch them up.

"...…."

I stayed silent. There is nothing much for me to say. It was my fault after all.

 "I'm sorry for that day. I know that you might have heard my apology a dozen times but if I have to apologize a thousand times just to make you feel better, I would do it. So please talk to us." She pleaded.

I felt so low. It was not her fault, it was mine, and yet here she is apologizing for something that she did not even do. "How long do you plan to be a coward, William?"

Another voice called out to me. I turned to the mirror and saw myself standing on the other side. "I must be hallucinating from exhaustion," I tell myself.

"Hannah is revered as a goddess among your peers and you know damn well why. She is better off doing something productive instead of asking for your forgiveness day by day. But she still came here to apologize." My mirror self added.

"When someone takes it this far, it means they care for you. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out, you oaf!"

That's when it hit me. I did not realize it up until now, but what my mirrored self says is true. She is indeed famous among my peers but why is she always hanging out with me? A loser among losers!

Someone like me is not fit to be even around her, just like Andre said! So why is she still around me?

My face slowly turned to beat red, I realized what it finally meant. "She healed me every time she gets the chance." She might have feelings for me. After spending almost my entire life training to be the best mage I can be, I forgot about the little things in life other than magic.

I raced myself towards the door, "It's fine. There is no need to apologize. It was my fault for being persistent from the very beginning." I said while standing beside the door.

It was silent. Maybe she is surprised that I responded out of the blue? That must be the case. I waited and waited for her reply, but it never came.

I slightly opened the door and realized that there was no one there. I looked at the window and realized that it was already dark. A few hours have passed without me realizing it.

"I'm an idiot." I grind my teeth in disappointment.

I got the chance and blew it at the last moment. If you don't call that an idiot, I don't know what to call myself.

It was hopeless. "William, you can do this." I gathered my thoughts. "I will return what was given to me." I will use this newfound determination as fuel for my research.

And before I knew it, I was back to work.

Unbeknownst to William, Hannah was still standing outside his room. A smile appears on her face after hearing everything that William has to say even though he thought that she was not there.

"That's the William I know. He doesn't let the world get the best of him." She whispered, careful not to let William be aware of her presence. She left in complete silence, she is reassured that William has the will to never give up. "It will take more than that to break his spirit."

And just like that, a few months have passed. William returned to being a normal teenager his age. He helps his mother with the groceries. He also helps his father with the chores in the fields.

He lived a life like any normal person, something that his parents had always wanted him to have.

People still talk about his performance during the test, they praise him for defying the system. His actions that day inspired both real mages and Void Mages of all ages.

He became the talk of the region without him knowing, and soon, his performance spread across the kingdom. Though it is not as gallant as the achievements of real mages, his valiant display of courage in front of an insurmountable wall gave confidence to Void Mages all around the kingdom.

Seasons went by, and the next test is coming up in the next few weeks and most of the kids in the age of 10 are getting ready, William's performance in last year's test brought a new standard, and most people will be excited to see their masterful use of spells and the efficient utilization of their spells.

"The test is coming in the next few weeks, what do you think will be the results this year? I'm quite thrilled."

"I know, right? I thought I was the only one looking forward to the test. I guess William made a change. How ironic, the least and the lowest kind of mage made such a huge difference."

It has become the talk of the region with most people stating their expectations. William listens to them quietly on the sidelines. "Looks like you will be a part of the history of the test from now on." A vendor said while handing him his change.

"I didn't really do much. I just did what I had to do. A man's got to do what a man has got to do." He replied.

The vendor just smiled as William express his thanks and left. "That young man, I can't tell what he thinks at times."

His assistant returns from a task, "What are you talking about, sir?" he asked.

"I'm talking about William, some people said strange things about him these past few months. They said he tries bite-size raw meat from the meat section. Poor kid, he must still feel the frustrations from last year's test." His assistant just looks at him and then shifts to William who is now disappearing from the distance.

"I don't know. Maybe he wants to get hold of the raw taste of meat. You never know what he wants to become. Maybe he aims to be the ultimate cook or something." His assistant suggested.

The vendor immediately agreed, his assistant's suggestion makes sense. Genius minds operate differently, that is already a well-established fact about William in their town.