4 depression

idk anymore at this point. I stayed in bed all day today with no motivation to do anything. the days are getting worse and worse. Tuesdays are the worst and tomorrow is Tuesday. Picturing him just looking at her and checking her out makes me sad. He doesn't check me out. He got grossed out when I told him a way he can pay me for doing his hair. He tried to later on say it was a joke but it really hurt and I know it wasn't a joke because he never did it. I did his hair for him to show off to another woman. not me. I don't know what he's using me for if not for pleasure. he doesn't like me he admits he hates me all the time. he tells his true thoughts of me often. but why does he come back a few times if there isn't any reason to stay? I feel so broken I really want to end it