Chapter One

A thin bar of moonlight crossed my face as I stared up at the ceiling, counting the cracks and then counting them again as I had been since about ten pm, which is when I gave up on television and attempted to sleep. At this point, though, I was giving up on that, too. I rolled over and checked the time on my alarm clock. 3 AM. Practically morning, I decided.

I rolled out of the blankets and sat on the edge of my bed, holding my head in my hands. It's better if I don't sleep, anyway. I thought. When I slept, the dreams returned. Dark hair in the wind, bundled up in a parka, a small child. Ready for the bus, only to miss it-

I shook my head, clearing the memory, and stood up. I stretched until my back popped and then I shuffled sock-footed down the hallway and into the kitchen.

I opened the fridge, removed the milk carton, and gave it a shake.

"About half full," I muttered, opening it and taking a swig.

I set it on the counter and took a can of coffee out, along with one filter out of the bag that I kept up there. I placed it in my old coffeemaker, and then poured a spoonful of coffee inside it. I checked the water level, and noticed it was full, so I closed the top and pressed "start" before opening the cupboard where I kept dishes and grabbing my mug. It was a wedding gift from about five years ago- a cheap thing, with 'Mr.' printed in black serif on the outside.

I liked it because it was just the right size, and in my experience conducted heat better than any other mug I had. I refilled the dog's water dish and wiped my counter down white I waited for my coffee to brew. I smiled slightly when the comforting scent began to fill my apartment. Colin was sleeping on the couch, curled in a tight black ball. He wasn't technically allowed to be there- he sheds like crazy- but I didn't have the heart to kick him off.

His old bones needed rest.

He stirred a bit in his sleep and I left the kitchen to give him an affectionate pat on his shoulder. He tapped his tail, very slightly, and sighed.

"Good boy." I murmured.

Just then, the coffee maker beeped, and I went back to the kitchen to pour myself a cup. I added some milk, and a little honey, and leaned back against my counter, mug warming my hands, as I waited for it to cool to a temperature just under the limit of what my mouth could handle. I glanced out the kitchen window, at what I could see of the sky. The stars weren't visible- they never were, here- but the moon was.

The first signs of dawn were beginning to appear on the undersides of the clouds, but the sky was a rich grayish black and a fat full moon shone in sharp relief against it. My brain hummed with the faintest sign of inspiration.

"Only the brightest lights are visible, but the moon is only bright because it reflects something brighter." I muttered to myself, forgetting how hot my drink was and taking a thoughtful and artistic sip.

I had been standing there for a second, breathing through my mouth to soothe my burned tongue, when my gaze dropped to the ivy plant on my kitchen windowsill.

It seemed dry so I filled a glass half-full with water and poured some into the soil.

The plant was growing in the other mug in the wedding set, the one marked "Mrs."

I had wanted to break it when Ellie left, but I couldn't bear to even throw it away.

At the same time though, I couldn't stand seeing it just sitting there in the cabinet among the other mugs, as if it was just waiting expectantly for her to lift it off the shelf. I found a better use for it where it is now: on the sill, with an ivy in it.

With both mugs full, I felt less like half a set, and more like… well…

Something else.

But in a good way, I think.

I took a sip of my coffee, now at a drinkable temperature, although the pain on my tongue had not completely faded.

I sighed, and set about the long task of enduring what was left of the night.