The White Room 1/6

The colour. The colour that had spread itself across my entire field of vision.

As the name White Room implies this entire facility was coloured white and the ceiling was no exception. In the first memory I have ever had I found myself staring at that ceiling. Before showing interest in staring or playing with my fingertips, I stared at that ceiling. Wondering what it was.

Day after day I spent my time looking at that ceiling.

At first I cried, I cried because I was alone, I cried because I missed other people, then I learned that no was coming to help me. 

Looking back on it now I realised that it was instinct, not logic.

That was the first thing that a new-born baby, who cannot even speak learns when it accepts it's environment. 

I soon realised the existence of my fingers and then I spent all day looking, moving, sucking and licking them whilst I could. Because within this emptiness they were the first things I could play with.

The nourishment required for all life was brought to us by cold adults, it was the same thing in the case of illnesses. The treatment was carried out without hesitation, almost robotically. And then daily life resumed as normal.

No one panicked, no one worried, nobody rejoiced.

Eventually one would realise that we were being carefully care for here.

Human beings typically have feelings. Feelings of joy, feelings of sorrow, feelings of anger, and feelings of pleasure. Yet none of them were of use in this facility. The children including myself with our still undeveloped brains learned that early on. 

It was no wonder whether you laughed, cried, got angry and sad, the instructors weren't there to help you.

The one time I could move forward was when I achieved something. 

I first recognised communication as a language when I was 1 years old.

The instructor was sitting in front of me and I was in front of him. There was nothing in between just the instructor holding his open palms out towards me. Not long afterward the instructor placed a small little gummy bear that was specially made in his hands in a very conspicuous way.

For children belonging to this facility this snack was a rarity. The sweetness that they were normally deprived of. As a child I was no exception to this fact. I had the same cravings as everyone else did.

"Guess where the gummy is and you can eat it." The order was simple his expression was stern and authoritative yet expressionless at the same time. On the other hand the child that was facing him - me, Kiyotaka Marukami - was also emotionless.

Whilst I was naturally this way the instructor was consciously attempting to silence his emotions.

And of course this was the same for all of the other 99 children and instructor's in this room with me and the one in front of me.

It seemed that all of children realised that emotions were unnecessary stumbling blocks as well. Something I could sense with pinpoint accuracy.

There were one-on-ones between the adults who hid their emotions and the children who disregarded them completely. 

"I'll give you a chance until you miss 3 times in a row." He muttered to himself.

At the time I only slightly understood the meaning of each word spoken, each syllable spoken with them. However it seemed as if instinctually I understood the full nature of what was being asked of me.

Touching his right hand, he opened it immediately revealing the gummy bear which he handed me. Promptly being eaten soon after whilst I observed the room around me.

At the same time children were also trying to guess the bear's location. Yet strangely all of the instructors held the gummy in their right hands. And all of the children answered correctly.

"Next!" 

This time, he held the gummy bear in his right hand and then switched it with his left hand and offered it to me. Of course I touched that hand getting yet another correct answer. This process was repeated two more times totalling a number of 4 gummy bears going into my stomach.

Although they weren't very sweet, they were a valuable snack within this facility devoid of all colour and as such were well received by the children. I, too enjoyed the taste of these gummies without exception.

"Next."

This time the instructor crossed his arms behind his back whilst taking a gummy bear holding his hands out at me. The strength of his grip and the position of each hand was exactly the same outside of the obvious differences. His expression also remained completely the same and so did his gaze.

The probability was 50/50 chance in either case. If that was the case then time efficiency was of the essence right?

No I was doing this all wrong. Why would they hand us 4 free gummies if not a hint of some kind?

Silently my eyes scanned the room finding the other's divided into 2 groups, and although it seemed as if the ratio of children who picked the right hand were higher, there was no clear reasoning for this outside of one fact. The right hand was wrong.

I took his left hand finding the gummy there. I must admit that at the time I felt proud of myself for discovering this fact. The feeling didn't last long but it was there.

"Next." 

And so the right hand was the answer this time tough the positions were switched meaning those that checked the left hand were higher than those to the right. The left hand being wrong this time. I followed suit earning another gummy. 

"Next."

This time when I observed my surroundings the same way I saw a drastic change. When all of the children pointed at one hand they didn't open their palms making my strategy useless.

It was a true 50/50 this time.

"You are the last one." 

I heard the instructor say. As I tried to see any hints as to what hand it'll be in yet his hands were clenched behind his back similar to the last one. I chose the left hand seeing as there was no hints available to me right now resulting in my first failure. Consequently those that chose the right hand were also wrong outside of a few. Meaning this was truly a 50/50 chance. 

At this point 65 of the children were out with 30 being on their last chances. The other 5 consisting of me as well had 2 chances left.

"Next." 

I took a chance pointing to his right hand getting it wrong again. This time all of the children left got it wrong. Those that picked right and those that picked left.

What was going on here? 

"Next."

Similarly to the previous 2 occasions it was held behind his back making it nearly impossible to determine it's location. Unless they wanted us to answer in a different manner.

Taking the childish thought and putting it into practice I pointed directly at him more specifically to his back.

"Why are you pointing towards my back?" He asked.

"Gummy..... give..... me." My words were slow coming out as I attempted to replicate what he and all instructors did for the first time. This was the first time I had seen an instructor display an emotion. Shock.

Yet he took his hands out of his back displaying the gummy in his right hand. I was wrong and had thus failed. 

"That's too bad. The right hand was the correct one."

He then ate the gummy himself.

"I'll give you another chance for the hell of it." 

He took a gummy and repeated the process. I thought his hands were empty yet was wrong last time so any thought of this was disregarded. Yet I didn't completely disregard it no I thought he would attempt it this time to trick me so reluctantly I made the same action as last time.

"Too bad another miss. Are you disappointed?"

That was right I was disappointed. Not because I didn't get the gummy but because I hated losing. I hated losing from the bottom of my heart.

"I guess this kid is different after all." 

The adults had gathered around to speak.

"All the children, with the exception of Kiyotaka, were honestly trying to guess everything between left and right. Yet he alone had observed the choices around him. And considered a 3rd option very clearly, where the gummy bear was hidden behind our backs. Moreover, he didn't completely disregard the idea even after proving that it wasn't correct once. This isn't the thinking of a one year old." 

"You're overthinking this Shiba."

"Yet in all of the tests I've performed, this is the only time I've seen a child think differently."

In the midst of these thoughts and talks of me, the instructors words were etched inside of my memory. Almost like a memory stick had been implanted into my brain. And in the future I would be able to view these memories with pinpoint accuracy.

"The way he is staring at us is kinda creepy. It's almost like he understands what we are talking about fully."

"There isn't a chance . He's 1 years old. There's no way he can understand the bare minimum of what we are saying at least."

"That's true, but.." The words never came as a loud buzzer came on announcing the end of the test. 

The instructors looked at each other, ordered to stand by and walked out us following behind.