Apologies

Jaeson lied down on his bed. He could see the beautiful full moon out of his windows. The moon and the trees creating a puppet show on his walls… he loved looking at it. But today, the moon was making him gloomy. It reminded him of Tanya.

He had imagined his university life to be different.

Loyola university chemistry department was considered one of the best in the world. And he was excited to be part of the department. He wanted to learn those weird reactions, to do those fun experiments, make friends and enjoy campus life. But…

Jaeson sighed.

"Am I really a bully?"

He questioned himself.

Edward's words were playing on his head.

He remembered the day.

How he entered the class to see Tanya being bullied…. Seeing her crying he lost his cool. And before he could think he called her a crybaby.

"I just wanted her to stop crying…" he said out loud.

"I thought she'll get her act together if I did that…."

Jaeson was feeling guilty, something he did to make others silent, to help Tanya, was being used against her.

"Tanya…." Rachel called.

"Hmm… what is it?"

"Are you doing our assignments? "

"Hmm… you came here to ask about it? Why? Are you having any difficulty?"

Rachel sat down on the bed. And sighed.

"I thought you'll be feeling bad and overthinking about the whole cafeteria issue… I guess I underestimated you. You are pretty strong."

Tanya chuckled.

"I don't have any other option…. Thinking about it will only aggravate me and… I want to focus on my studies…" I looked at Rachel.

She smiled. Then hugged me.

Jaeson looked around. He felt silly, lurking around the corridor. And then he saw… Tanya.

"Hey, Can I talk to you?"

Tanya looked at him… with suspicious eyes.

"For what? To mock me again? I think you've done enough of that already. I don't have time for it."

Jaeson looked at Tanya. She was not angry, maybe indifferent, irritated but definitely not angry.

"I'm sorry" he let out.

There was a sudden silence enveloping them. The whole corridor was looking at them. Waiting for the drama to unfold.

Tanya was bewildered to say the least. The jaeson she saw in class, the jaeson who always belittled her he was nowhere to be seen.

In front of her stood another person, head hung low, ready to apologize, ready to accept his mistakes and make amends….not in person, in public, in front of everyone.

There was murmurs.

Tanya looked around.

"Is this some kind of prank? I'm telling you it's not funny."

Jaeson shook his head vigorously.

"No… I'm really sorry. I never thought my words would hurt you. I mean I knew I was harsh but I never intended to bully you. I never thought that my words would be used against you."

"It was a mistake. I was angry when I saw not defending yourself and crying and I just… I'm sorry ok. And about the chemistry problem. I wanted to be acknowledged by the professor and that was it. My intent was not to insult you, I'm sorry… I just I'm not very good at expressing myself I guess. I talk without thinking and never really cared about the consequences of my words on others… it was my mistake and I sincerely apologize."

Tanya didn't know what to say. She just looked at jaeson.

Her stare blank.