17 - You could call the cops, you know

**Adrena's perspective**

''The air I breathe, by Adrena Calero

Even though my lungs are less than an inch away from where my fingers touch my chest, I still have a hard time believing that my lungs are real. That I can breathe. That I can use the organ inside of me to breathe the same air as you. That's not even the scariest part.

My heart could stop at any time, any minute, and if it happens real quick, then I won't even be able to feel it. If my heart should decide to fail, then I would be dead within minutes. I guess that's the same with love. It happens so quickly that you don't even see it coming, and if it fails, then I will never be able to breathe or live again. ''

---------

Okay.. So we kissed. Again.

I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm clearly not in a stable mindset right now. While the wounds on my back are healing, my inner thoughts are not. I feel so betrayed, and so incredibly stupid about the fact, that I still, despite his disloyalty, has butterflies In my stomach each time our eyes meet.

I promised myself never to be a prey, but how could I have known, that I would be trapped inside the lions nest?

''You're so quiet, what's wrong?'' Lorenzo asked, from the driver's seat. We were currently on our way to Philadelphia, 90 miles away from New York. The drive would take about two hours, but we were planning on making a pitstop In Hightstown on our way. Neither of us had eaten anything, in a day or so.

''I'm just thinking.'' I quietly replied, with my face glued to the car window. I was afraid that if I looked at him, I would turn into stone.

''I could have guessed that myself. Is there anything you'd like to say to me?''

''No, nothing I haven't already said. I'm just sad, Lorenzo. And confused. I miss Naomi. And I can't stop thinking about her, she must be so worried, and I can't even do anything about it,''

My eyes watered, and I could feel my lips tremble, with short intakes of breath that followed my lips. Only a few seconds later, I could feel Lorenzo's immense warm hand, on my thigh.

''In a couple of days, I'll allow a phone call. If you promise me, that you won't tell her where you are and who you're with, okay? I don't see the harm in that.''

My heart stopped. Even the smallest opportunities made my heart skip a beat right now, and just the thought of hearing Naomi's voice made me smile.

''I promise! I just want her to know, that I'm okay.''

He hesitated, with his face facing forward, with his eyes on the road. I turned my head, and looked at his hand, that was still on my thigh. I felt little sparks, as he squeezed it.

''But.. Are you okay?'' he asked concerned, still not looking at me.

''I don't really know. But I think I will be. I just have to digest this, I mean, there's a lot to swallow.''

As I finished my sentence, Lorenzo made a left turn, and drove us to a diner, that stood next to the high road. It looked a little tacky, but I was so hungry, that I didn't care.

Before we walked in, I noticed Lorenzo scanning the area. He looked serious, while walking around the car, searching for enemies. From the corner of my eye, I could see his hand holding a firm grip to the gun, that was hidden behind his black jacket.

''If we just do it quick, then I think we'll be okay.'' He said, as we made our way towards the diner.

Inside, the ambience was warm and blissful. A lot of regulars sat by their tables with a newspaper and their coffee – I instantly knew they were regulars, as I've met a few myself at my own job waiting tables.

We seated as far away from the window as we could, so no one from outside could see us.

''Hello you two! What can I get for you today?'' a kind woman asked, as she stood by the end of the table with a note and pen in her hand. I took a second look at the menu, and ordered a veggie burger, with fries and a coke. Lorenzo ordered a chicken salad, and a bottled water.

We both observed the lady, as she left. ''Aren't you hungry?'' I asked him.

''Yes? Why'd you ask?''

''Just wondering, since you only ordered salad. I don't feel like that's enough? I mean, it wouldn't be for me.''

He ran his fingers through his hair, and then rested his hands on the table. I admired the tattoos he had on his fingers.

''I just don't like to eat at places like this. So I feel like a salad is a safe choice.'' He muttered. I couldn't help but laugh. I don't know why I was surprised, he did seem like a perfectionist, and rather focused on his health.

But it just didn't fit the part – we were currently on the run, and if we gets caught, we'd might die, meanwhile he's about to eat a salad, because it's a safe choice. I guess it makes sense to hold on to the little things.

Ten minutes later, our food arrived. I had to restrain myself from devouring the food in less than two seconds. My stomach was growling, and my tastebuds were craving for more.

''Someone's hungry, huh?'' Lorenzo asked with a smile. ''You've got a little…-''he reached out his hand, and dried off a piece of bread from my lip with his thumb. I noticed that he licked his own lips, as he did it.

''Thanks..'' I mumbled. ''Maybe we should buy some food to go before we leave? I mean, that way we don't have to make more pitstops for a while.''

I tried to hide the fact, that I simply wasn't full as I finished my meal. To my embarrassment, he knew, as he immediately got up, and walked to the counter.

Five minutes later, he came back with a plastic bag filled with food and water. I didn't even have to look inside it, I knew it would contain fruit, vegetables and perhaps some full grain crackers. As a New Jersey girl, I don't find those supplies very ''road-trip friendly''. On the other hand, this of course isn't a typical road trip.

Lorenzo finished his salad with a satisfied look on his face. He got up, and told me that he would go to the bathroom to wash his hands. I waited by the table, and used the opportunity to quickly run up to the counter, and tell the lady to hand me some 'real snacks' that I could put in the bottom of the bag. I told her to add it to his bill. As I reseated, with a victorious smile, Lorenzo came back.

''Ready to leave?'' he asked, while drying off his hands In his trousers.

''Yes, absolutely. But uhm, I don't have my purse or phone, so I can't really pay for all of thi-''

He waved me off, and said: ''Honey, I'm one of the richest youngsters in New York, I got it. Besides, in some way, this was our first real dinner date, so let the man here-'' he pointed at himself with a cheeky smile –''pay for it.''

He left me with a laugh on my face, as he walked up to the counter to pay. Normally, I would have protested – I hate when men use the patriarch ''excuse'' to pay for a women, simply because they believe they have a higher income, or even worse – then expects that we 'owe' them something.

But this wasn't the case here, I knew that he meant it well. Other than that, he was the very cause for my current situation, and in one way or another, he had to pay for that.

When we arrived to the car, Lorenzo put the plastic bag in the back seat. I was afraid that he'd notice the extra weight, but he didn't.

As we left Hightstown, we decided to put on some music to lift the tension. He wanted to show me some of his favorite music, which – no surprise – was Italian opera. He was singing along with wild hand gestures, as he drove.

''Ah, here's my favorite part – listen!'' he shouted amused, as the female opera singer reached her vocal climax. ''When I visit Palermo, I always go to the opera with mamma.''

As he said it, his smile disappeared. He turned down the music a little, and clenched his jaw.

''Are you and your.. mamma close?'' I asked with a comforting smile.

''Yes, very. She's my favorite person in this whole world. An incredible woman, mother and friend. But we're not in the best place right now.'' He added, while he kept a stern look on the road.

''Why not?'' I questioned.

''She didn't like the way I handled… things. When she heard that I 'gave' you to Dimitri, she called me-'' his voice cracked as he said it, but there wasn't any signs of tears in his eyes. ''She said that she didn't cry for me, but for you.  That me and my father doesn't deserve love, or good women. And she's right, I don't deserve it, and I honestly don't understand why you're being so nice to me, all considered.''

To be honest, neither did I. But I've learned something from my past, that always sticks with me. Even the worst people, or the most evil ones, has something inside their hearts, that makes them good. I've always had a hard time trusting people, and I've grown up with so many lies and betrayals, that it can be hard to separate lies from reality.

But Naomi has taught me so much about trust, and I still believe what she told me, when we were sixteen – that I have to find trust. That everyone, even the toughest nuts to crack, has goodness inside of them. And even though Lorenzo betrayed me in the worst kind of way, he regretted it, and put his own life at stake.

That doesn't only show my trust in him, that also shows his trust in me – he must see something in me, that is worth trusting.

''I don't know either, Lorenzo. But I do know, that we can't change what's happening, we can only look forward. And I trust that we will work things out, one way or another.''

He raised his eyebrows and looked at me. ''You are amazing, Adrena. You know that?''

I tried to hide the blushing that I felt was coming, by turning my face to the car window next to me.

''Seriously, why are you so nice to me? I almost had you killed, and here you are, with a –'' he laid extra pressure on the next word: ''WOUNDED back, while listening to me talking about my mamma. Do you even know how fucking ballsy that is?''

I really sucked at receiving compliments. I always have been. I always feel speechless, mortified and honored at the same time, which is a strange cocktail.

''Stop, it's fine. I'm just adjusting myself to the situation, and there's no use in being a bitch right now. That won't save us, and I can't, as I said before, change what's happening. So just enjoy it while it lasts, cause if you sugarcoat just one more sentence, then that mindset might change.''

I instantly regretted the last thing I said. Why was it so hard for me, to just say ''thank you''?

He led out an impressed laugh, and looked in my direction. I still had my eyes glued to the window.

A couple of seconds went by, before he broke the silence.

''You could call the cops, you know?''

I knew he was waiting desperately for a reply, and I ignored him for half a minute or so, before I gave him my answer.

''I know I could. And I thought about doing it, believe me-'' I paused, only for my own amusement. I turned my head to face his, and was met by a frightened and panicked look in his brown eyes.

''But I don't think that would do any good. I mean, if they 'helped me', then it would only be a matter of days, before Dimitri would find me, and punish me for ratting them out to the cops. I don't know anything about mafias, besides from what I've read in shitty romance novels, but I have a feeling that people who snitch, will get stitched. Am I correct?''

He led out a relieved sight, that told me that he held his breath as I spoke. He looked calmed, and had the same impressed expressions as earlier.

''Sure you're not in the mafia?'' he asked with a laugh.