Chapter 20

He'd meant the words to calm her, but he could feel her flare of temper and watched as she pushed herself up on her elbow to look down at him. Her lips were swollen from his rough kisses, leaves tangled in her hair, and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful. The shudder of longing that went through him was almost more than he could contain, followed quickly on its heels by one of harsh self-recrimination. How could he keep Vhyper away from her when he had no control over himself?

Goddess, but he wanted her.

"I don't want to get used to it. I hate it here. Hate it." She pushed away from him and stood up.

He rose to his feet and turned to look elsewhere, anywhere but at the woman who called to his basest instincts. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her finger-comb her hair, dislodging the leaves clinging to the silken strands.

She met his gaze, her eyes desolate. "There's something wrong, Lyon. When I'm in that house, I'm constantly afraid, and I don't know why."

"But not out here. Not as bad."

"No."

"Maybe it's gone," he said hopefully.

Her lips made a rueful twist. "And what if it's not?" He felt her emotions burst with panic. "I don't want to go back there."

She worried him.

"Kara…" He took her arm, and she tried to jerk away from his grip.

"No. I'm not going back." She struggled against his hold, her emotions spiking with desperation. "I'm not going back."

His patience snapped, and he grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "We must have an ascended Radiant, Kara, and we won't get another until you die. You cannot escape your fate."

"And what is my fate? Something in that house wants to hurt me. I can feel it."

"Kara." He sighed, releasing her. "Nothing's going to hurt you. There's nothing wrong that won't be fixed by your Ascension."

She stared at him. "You think this is all in my imagination."

He opened his mouth to deny it, but saw the knowledge in her eyes and couldn't force the lie. "I don't know what else it could be."

"And no matter what I say, you're not going to let me go."

"No. I'm sorry, Kara, but no. You have no choice."

He watched the fight drain out of her, her eyes filling with hopelessness, and he hated the fates for what they'd done to her. For what they were doing to them both. With a flinch of her eyes, she stepped forward and began walking, accompanying him without further resistance. But on the drive back to the house, her tension began to fill the air until his knuckles were clenched and white on the steering wheel.

Was she suffering from some kind of paranoia? Was that it? Had her human upbringing damaged her mind? Or was this his doing? A result of ripping her from her world with too much violence and too little care.

Hell if he knew. And hell if he knew what he was going to do about it. Keeping her here was only half the battle. Ascending a Radiant required the full cooperation of the woman, both during the preparation and during the ritual itself. An unwilling Radiant would never ascend.

The thought chilled him. As Chief of the Ferals, the responsibility for ensuring they had an ascended Radiant lay squarely on his shoulders.

Though it had never happened before, he knew that if the day ever came that he couldn't ascend the Radiant chosen for them, he would be forced to clear the way for another.

Even the thought of it made his beast roar with anguish and bile rise in his throat. He couldn't do it. Goddess, help him, he couldn't take her life.

He must see her through this, which meant finding a way to calm her fears. A tall order considering the current state of her emotions. She'd nearly escaped him twice. Three times, if he counted the way she'd wrecked his car, then run back to her mother when he tried to take her the first time. The woman was strong. Determined. Stubborn.

All traits that would make her a good Radiant if he could just get her through this anxiety of hers. And if he couldn't?

He would have to destroy her.

No. The denial rushed up from his chest, filling his throat until it was all he could do not to yell the word into the car.

If it was the last thing he did, he would get this woman ascended even if he had to lead her through every step of the preparation himself.

With a groan, he realized that was exactly what he was going to have to do. He was the only Feral she couldn't escape.

* * *

As Lyon drove into the long, circular drive of Feral House, Kara felt her heart picking up speed as if preparing for takeoff. Her stomach clenched, her hands turned damp, her mouth went dry.

Why?

Yes, she didn't like Feral House, hated that they were trying to force her to marry a man she didn't know and didn't like. But Lyon was sitting in the seat beside her. Lyon who was the biggest, most powerful male she'd ever known. The leader of nine such men, all determined to protect her.

Apprehension she could understand, but not this rising panic. It made no sense.

Lyon parked Tighe's car in the drive and got out. As Kara opened her own door, a full-fledged rush of terror ripped through her body, nearly driving her back in her seat. She gasped at the onslaught. This wasn't right. It wasn't natural.

Was she somehow doing this to herself?

As she pushed herself out of the car, Lyon took her hand. Almost as soon as his warm fingers curled around hers, the fear started to ebb.

His free hand slid beneath her ponytail, his palm clasping the back of her neck in a sensual, proprietary grip. She closed her eyes and leaned into his calming touch, relishing the feel of him, the strength, as he waged a battle against the emotions that kept rushing back.

As she leaned back against the car, his thumb slid up her neck, sending sweet chills racing over her skin, then retraced the path, sending a flutter of heat through her veins. What was it about this man? All he had to do was touch her, and she turned to putty in his hands. All he had to do was kiss her and she… mmm. Her body tightened down low in hot, welcome memory.

Her eyes fluttered open and she found him watching her, his own eyes filled with a heat to match her own as if he knew exactly what she'd been thinking.

"Your touch is magic," she murmured.

"No one reacts to it like you do." His voice was low, private, and intensely sexy, sending a rush of dampness to the juncture of her thighs.

Why couldn't he have been the one the Pairing chose for her?

She looked away as bitter unhappiness welled inside her, wrapping around a longing so deep she could hardly fathom it. She'd known him little more than a day, yet more than anything in the world, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let him go.

Her gaze returned to his. "I wish you'd been the one chosen for me," she said softly.

For a second she thought she saw an unhappiness in his eyes almost as deep as her own, but then it was gone. He looked away.

"We need to go inside." Though his tone was brusque, his hand remained on the back of her neck as he led her up the brick walk to the front steps and opened the front door for her. "Let's get you some lunch. You'll feel better."

She wasn't at all sure about that, but she was hungry and didn't object when Lyon steered her down the hall toward the dining room and the voices raised in lively discussion. At the doorway, he released her and ushered her into the room.

To Kara's dismay, Zaphene was there again, though Vhyper, thankfully, was not.

The volume of the voices dropped slowly away as Lyon steered her to a single empty seat between Paenther and Jag. He held the chair out for her and she sat, wondering why he'd chosen not to sit beside her.

"Bring her to my office when she's finished eating."

Kara whirled in her seat, fighting down the need to beg him not to leave her, only to watch his long strides take him quickly from the room. Emotions pummeled her as she slowly turned around to face the table and the six men and one woman sitting there. Fear. Discomfort. And flat-out embarrassment as she eyed the beautifully groomed Zaphene, knowing she herself probably still had leaves sticking out of her hair.

Across the table, Tighe glanced up at her, and she mustered a smile for him. But no answering smile came her way. His green eyes, man eyes, were filled with disappointment as his gaze returned to his plate.

Her stomach clutched at the obvious cut, wondering why he was mad at her. The last time she'd seen him, right after the Pairing last night, he'd tried to come to her aid.

She forced herself to look at the others. The only one who met her gaze was Wulfe. And in his eyes she saw rank disapproval. Her stomach clenched, her scalp tingling as she wondered if her fear had a basis after all. Were they planning to turn on her, now?

At the other end of the table, she saw Hawke and. felt a kick of guilt for running from him... And suddenly she understood what was going on. They knew she'd tried to run away. And they were angry.

"Next time you want to escape, sugar," Jag drawled, confirming her suspicions, "come find me. I'll take you places you never dreamed of."

"Shut up, Jag," Tighe said.

Paenther reached for an empty plate and handed it to her without meeting her gaze.