Step by Step

The remainder of Zale's day was uneventful, as was his week. Meru did the paperwork for her improved blessing, creating that much more of a gap between herself and Zale in terms of hunter ability. Though she'd always won their little competition, she was now pulling further ahead. Meanwhile, Zale was left to his patrols, office work, and other odd jobs assigned by Effie.

Despite the growing gap in their work and skill, the gap in their hearts was slowly mending. Meru spent most of her nights at Zale's apartment. Zale loved her company. Just her presence lulled him into comfort. However, her doting and care irked him. "I know I'm in no condition to be doing much of anything these days. It's just annoying that you do everything for me," he explained.

"Babe, I'm just trying to help. I didn't mean to trample on you like that."

They sat on the couch, and Zale patted her leg, reassuring her, "No, no. I get that completely. And I'm so thankful for you. It's just, since you asked, I didn't want to bottle it up."

"I appreciate you telling me that. I'll be more mindful as well," she said with a small sigh.

Zale hated when they had problems, but his guilt wouldn't let him lie to her. They would do what they could to resolve the situation in time, but Zale would have to live with his own disability. Rather than focus on his losing competition and frustration towards himself, he focused on his recovery and research.

His own supply of crystals and monster cores from raids and battles had become stagnant. While Meru was more than capable of charging headlong into the fray, he couldn't risk a real battle, regardless of having inexhaustible blessings. He put his efforts into his own conundrum instead, the one that meant eventual life or death. During his research and study of ancient religions and histories and 'Mana,' he was constantly running into the same wall.

He simply couldn't find a way to achieve a tier-one core. He didn't even know where to find materials that might have the mana he was looking for. Still, he had promising leads on those in the form of very old, very expensive relics of the past, as well as the possibility of plants in remote, untouched locations.

Yet, this was all for nothing. He couldn't use the materials even if he managed to obtain them. Zale wasn't sure what felt worse, the fear that Meru would never believe him or the terror of death attached to his efforts.

"Meru will never believe me, and I'll be trapped here forever too. Trapped by mortality, and then I'll die. Not around to know what people think. If they are sad or well. There's just nothing. A world where I can't even think about death, and there is not Meru to support me or hate me."

He felt chills when these thoughts crept in, and when they did, they consumed him. They gripped his mind, and his heart thrummed. His breaths became shallow, and no rational thought helped. His only choice was to think of anything else. He thought of Meru, his recovery, or used the internet for any entertainment that kept his mind busy. He took anything to forget.

He didn't talk to Meru about it. She was busy with work and her own troubles. He knew she dreamed of bigger things and was sprinting towards them. He had no intention of stopping her.

She was a force to be reckoned with when it came to occupying his mind. He spent much of his time texting her, eating with her, and catching up with her, but when she wasn't around, he spent his spare time on base, avoiding his apartment when possible.

This was one such time. He clapped his book closed and placed it on the glass table in Elvash's lounge. He often took up residence here during breaks, or on days he didn't have work. He was really just waiting for Meru, checking the time frequently.

Since she was busy, he could only kill time. "I'm done," he told himself with a sigh, moving his tablet from his lap to the couch.

He stood and reached for the ceiling in a long stretch, arching his back and bending his knees. Then, he flopped back on the cushion he swore was filled with a cloud and proceeded to watch videos on his phone, headphones blotting out the world.