I'm Fucking Dead

The royal guest bedroom, Peridot Castle.

Yuina standing at the balcony staring at the full moon. It such a beautiful scenery at night, the moon seems bigger than when she was in Zirconia.

She inhales the night breeze with her mind wondering about what Hayden was doing right now? Is he eaten yet? Did he sleep on the ground or staying at the inn? Her endless question seems will remain unanswered.

She squeezes her hand onto the pendant which attached on the necklace she wore. 'Hurry back, Hayden.'

"Ahem.." Kyra clearing her throat a bit when she saw the melancholic Yuina was staring at the moon in the middle of the night holding the pendant that Hayden give it to her.

Flinch a bit, she turns to find the source of the voice. "Kyra." She utters slowly and turns to look at the moon back.

Leaning on the framed glass window, Kyra fold her hand into her chest. "It's only less than a day he leaves, Yuina. What's the matter? Missing him already?"

Like has been seen-through by Kyra, she chuckles a bit. "This is the third time he leaves me ever since we run away from the castle. But I still can't accustom when he's not around. I'm such a pathetic aren't I?"

Kyra silent for a seconds before she replying to her. "It's not pathetic. If you love someone, it's normal for you not wanting him to leave your side. Until when do you want to fool yourself, Yuina?" She glances at her.

"I…don't think I'm over Hans yet." She muttered it slowly while looking down on her feet.

"What he does to you that make you can't forget about him? He killed your father, Yuina. He also almost killing you too. Why you still stubbornly hold onto him?" Kyra feels a bit irk when she heard what Yuina just said. Hayden loves her so much, isn't it good enough for her to forget that man who betrayed her?

Yuina runs her finger through her fringe a bit. Her face turns gloom with the fact which Kyra just said it. It's true, he kills her father, drives her to the edge of her life. If not because Hayden constantly pulls her back to life, she'd be long dead.

With that fact, she should be able to hate him with all her life. But..there's something that makes her unable to hated her more like it supposed to be. Something that pierces her heart if she forgets about him. He's not that evil. He treats her just like a normal guy wooing on a girl. She was aware of it.

Even he is a lady magnate, he still remains to no one. But, why? Why he had to do all these evil things? Why did he try to kill her without batting an eye that time? Why? Was it all fake when he was with her the entire years since they were a child until her twenty-third birthday?

There is no way that a charming, refreshing smile is fake. She can't get over him yet. In her dark days, Hayden gives her the light, guide her to the right path and met with wonderful people in her life. Hayden is half of her now. She can't deny the feeling that already arouses when she was with him.

He was her savior, she couldn't deny that. If he was about to leave her side, she might get the worse impact than what Hans do to her. However, how can she give her heart to him if she still holding someone else name deep inside it? It feels like she used him as an escape route.

"That...I don't have the answer." She replies with such feeble in her voice.

"Yuina.." Kyra went to her and held both of her shoulders. She looks deep in her eyes. "Listen, are you really okay if he leaves you one day? Or until that day, then only you realize how deep your feeling for him? It'll be too late if you realize it when he already has gone. Use this time to measure how you feel. Don't give him false hope if you can't give him your heart. And end it while you still can."

With that being said, Kyra left her on the balcony and went back to the room. What Kyra said stung her and prick her heart deeply. She knew what she means by 'end it while you still can'. But, will it be better or it will just cause them both to suffer more?

'Why? Why do I have this hesitant feeling to forget all about that man? He brings disaster to my life, why can't I fully hate him? Why?'

The question is left hanging without any answer to it. She then looks back at the emerald pendant. Caress it like it was a treasure of her life.

'I love you, Hayden. I do. But...I want to give all my feeling only for you without anyone except you in my heart, however, I still can't get rid his name out of my heart. What should I do?'

…

"You've been staring at the moon for a quite long. Something interesting there?" Grey handed him a glass of beer.

They are now at the side of the city. Staying the night at the rented room above the bar. Sitting on the roof in the middle of the night while staring at the moon, he must be missing the owner of his heart that badly.

"Its bigger than Zirconia, don't you think?" Hayden averts his eyes to the man beside him and takes the glass. Trying to hide his melancholic feeling right now.

"Hm?" Grey stares at the same moon as Hayden. "Since you've said it, I think it looks a bit bigger than usual." Yup, he did not deny it. It does look a bit bigger. Maybe because they were close to the ocean or the fact that this kingdom is far away from their hometown, and now are they homesick?

They both did not say anything after that and let the night breeze crept on their skin. Until half an hour later, Grey standing up after finishing his drink. "I'm going to bed. Wake me up when it's my turn to guard up."

Hayden just nods his head slightly and watch the man climb down the roof. It has been his habit right now to always put on his guard up whenever he was out. Another reason why he did not want to sleep right now is that the dream still haunting him every night. It makes him tired to keep his head straight when the temptation is so erotic in front of him.

Every man might want to have that dream, but not him. He would love to let the dream to go on if the woman inside his dream is the one that he really loves. But this one is totally NO for him.

Sighing, he took out his sword and put beside him. "Jett, are you still awake?"

"Yes, Master." Jett replying him but with a low voice. Worried that if any wizard or fairies in this kingdom heard him, it will bring trouble.

The dragon has been informed to not show their form in any kind of shape except the stone their guardians know for the very first time. This Kingdom may look safe, but they still the enemy of this kingdom. Their head is surely had a bounty price. If they were caught, they might not be able to return back to their kingdom.

"How do I escape from the charm that the mermaid put? Do you have any suggestion?"

"Hm?" Jett silent for a moment before he replies it. "Why don't you ask her himself? It can't be cast off, except if the one who cast the spell to lift it back from the one she set her eyes on."

"That…" He stops his sentence. If he confronts her like that, it'll just bring more problem to him. She obviously tempting him openly even in front of Yuina, she dares to try and touch her. Let alone if they were just alone. It's not like he is afraid of hurting her feeling, but right now..they're in the mission.

If he was about to say it to her now, who knows what kind of revenge she would set on all of them. Right now, Yuina is at the Castle. He can't put Yuina in danger by confronting Freya right now. So, until this mission is done, he likely wouldn't get a good night sleep.

"Alba give me a hint..her daughter seems like really in love with you. He asks me about if I could..you know.." Jett said when Hayden didn't seem like he going to continue his sentence anymore.

"Not a chance." He hurriedly replies to him. Of course, he will not betray his love for Yuina.

"I knew it was your answer. So, I didn't give him any hint of 'yes 'too."

"What did he say?"

"Well, like always..using our status as a brother to convince me. You don't have to worry. I'm very loyal to my master."

"I'm not your master, noted that I'm your friend," Hayden said while smiling a bit to his sword. If one sees him right now, he looks like a drunken who talk to the lifeless thing.

…

The next morning,

"Good morning, Master Heath." Rachael bows her head a little, she wears the armor gear she borrows from Agil before she went to the front gate this morning.

Looking at the girl, Heath trailing his eyes from her ponytail hair until her boot shoes. "Why are you wearing this?" He asks curiously.

"Huh?" She scratches her temple a bit while looking down on her attire. "Aren't we going to go to training?"

"Hmm..suit yourself," Heath reply and open one portal for them to go.

Rachael follows behind him into the portal and once she steps in, she gasps and immediately shivering.

They are now at the ice mountain. There is a blizzard happening right now and the wind are so cold. Even she is wearing armor, the cold creeps through the steel iron that covering her body.

Without looking at her who is almost turn blue, Heath said over his shoulder.

"You have four hours to climb up this mountain. I'll wait at the top of the mountain. If you late, I will abandon you here." He then opens another portal where he vanishes after he went inside it.

"Hah?!" She wants to ask him but he disappears faster than she thought.

"Shit!" She looked up at the icy mountain in front of her. It was steep and the ice looks like a thick crystal. Up thirty more meter above, there is a thick cloud covering the mountain's top.

"I'm fucking dead."