The Lord of Thieves

Ifasola yelped loudly as he was pulled through and found himself standing next to the base of a large mountain. The air was chilly as he fell to the ground, his legs shaking from the unexpected journey. While he had always wanted to try the instantaneous method of travel known as portalling, he could see why so many people, whether they be science or magic inclined, would find it quite jarring of an experience.

He had time to take a look at his bearings and noticed that he was definitely not anywhere in Nigeria at all, for one, they didn't have any mountains this big, and they certainly didn't have the Grecian flag draped all over them. Looking at Ekwensu, Ifasola noticed that he looked deep in thought, as if he was having a lot of memory flashes to this one location. Knowing what he knew now about the age of this deity and his role in the creation of life on Earth, and in fact the Earth itself, Ifasola wondered if he also had a hand in molding individual mountains. Which brought him to his next train of thought, they were in Greece, at a mountain, and he was with a God, that could only mean one place in all of Greece, but he wanted to be sure regardless.

"Lord Ekwensu," he asked, still preferring to be formal, "This is Mount Olympus isn't it."

Ekwensu nodded, not really turning to him. He noticed the god pacing around, as if he was looking for something at the mountain. Ifasola was a bit confused, if this was Mount Olympus, and he was looking for the gods of Greece as he suspected, then wouldn't it be better to go to the top of the mountain? Admittedly his knowledge on a lot of Non-African gods was very scant, but he thought he knew at least that much.

"What exactly are you looking for? I thought the Greek Gods would be at the top of Mount Olympus." Ifasola continued

"In the olden days a lot of them would indeed be there," Ekwensu answered, still pacing around as if looking for something that he could not see, "But a lot of the Greek Gods don't spend as much time in one location anymore, they usually spend time all over the world wherever there are Hellenists."

"Hellenists?"

"The worshipers of the Greek Gods. Well, at least they're called that in Greece and parts of Europe. A lot of the non-European based branches prefer terms such as Dodekatheists since they feel that calling themselves Hellenists when they are not part of the Hellenic culture is a misnomer, but as we're in Greece right now, I'm using that term."

"I kind of feel silly for assuming that worship of the Greek Gods was done with."

"Well, they don't have the number of worshipers that they used to, but unlike a lot of Gods today, their worship is not limited to their nation of origin, allowing them more reach, it also helps that a lot of their iconography is all over the planet now, no matter the religions and gods that would take their place in the hearts of many. For example, the United States has statutes of Themis, or Lady Justice as they call her now, at many law firms, and there she can actually interact with American lawyers even if they do not have her as a patron."

"Where does that leave Hermes though Lord Ekwensu?" Ifasola asked, since Hermes was supposed to be the one god they were looking for.

"He's normally not here, but I'm looking for one of his message centers, he's an extremely busy deity."

"I would assume so Lord, but what would you need a messenger god for? We have the internet after all."

Ekwensu frowned and turned to look at Ifasola, "He's a lot more than just the messenger god for the Olympians. He is the lord of trade, wealth, luck, fertility, animal husbandry, sleep, language, thieves, and travel. It's a bit frustrating to me when he's only remembered as a messenger, because he's a trickster after my own heart."

"I thought Eris was a trickster."

Ekwensu's frown only grew deeper, "Eris is strife and discord. Those are but one path to chaos, chaos itself is not a negative thing Mr. Ifasola. Regardless, Hermes is also a lord of Tortoises like me which makes for stirring-," Ekwensu paused before he could continue, picking up a small golden tortoise that was placed in between two candles.

Examining the tortoise, Ekwensu noticed that at the top of its shell looked to be a button with the image of a winged heel sandal. Smiling, he pushed the button and set down the tortoise.

It didn't take long for the tortoise to morph into the image of a man with fair Mediterranean features, long brown hair, strong brown eyes, a thin face with many wrinkles on the side that showed many years of stress. He was wearing a black business suit with many golden rings on his fingers, some with symbolism of mailing companies, road construction businesses and even criminal enterprises. He wore a hat reminiscent of an American gangster from the 1940s, and the black leggings and black shoes looked very polished. Ifasola was very surprised that this did not fit with his image of Hermes. Where was the man with winged sandals and a helmet with wings and the caudacus staff, there was none of that which would tell him that it was Hermes of legend.

"Hermes you old thief, it's been a while." Ekwensu said, beaming, his arms wide open for an embrace.

Hermes smiled and embraced Ekwensu, but as he did so, Ekwensu quickly stepped back, laughing while grabbing Hermes' left hand, and Ifasola saw that one of Ekwensu's magic orbs, which he needed to use greater spells, was in the fingers of Hermes. Ifasola quickly reminded himself that many gods took on more modern attire than their classic apperance. Amusingly he remembered reading an article where female tourists to greece were handed protective pamphlets warning them about the various modern guises that Zeus would try to take on despite the government monitoring of the thunder god.

"Lord Kaos, it is just my luck that you would request a meeting with me." Hermes said with a warm smile. Hermes quickly glanced to seeing Ifasola scribbling notes on his tablet then turned his attention abck to his fellow deity.

"I must admit Kaos, I am perplexed as why you didn't request a trade meeting at your office like you have in years past." Hermes stated, with an eyebrow raised and a grin slowly pulling at the corner of his lip, with a glint in his eye reminsecent of a hunter sniffing out prey

"You know already that I'm not here on over the table business you tricky tortoise."

Hermes laughed loudly, "Indeed, but as a thief I need to know exactly why you need the, dirtier aspects of my services. I noticed that you have taken the magic of others Lord Kaos."

"Chameleon and Drongo gave me their talents willingly Hermes."

"But not for free, you know how this works Kaos, there must always be an exchange, whether monetary, physical or a task done."

"Then you already can guess what I want from you?"

"I demonstrated it to you, you want to borrow my ability to steal things, do you not."

"You have the gist of it yes."

"This mortal that's with you, he's willing to become a fellow criminal?"

"In his eyes he wants to go along with whatever I do as long as he gets the research out of it."

"Let's discuss this properly in my office then."

With a snap of his fingers, Ekwensu and Ifasola found themselves in what looked like a packinging center, with hundreds of boxes and letters moving around on conveyor belts. Hermes' office was suspending far above this display of machinery, with humans and various centaurs, nymphs, dryads and naiads all working on the production floor.

Hermes laid out a pamphlet in front of Ekwensu, it was a detailed list of items such as chairs, a DJ, sound systems, all the stuff needed for a large party, with a total price listed at the bottom. Ekwensu looked over the items and mumbled to himself as he checked all of the items. He took out a pen and started writing in red ink next to some of the items., then handed the budget list to Hermes.

"Hmm, are you sure these items at lower prices are actually better quality? Or are you trying to save yourself some money?" Hermes asked Ekwensu with a raised eyebrow

Ekwensu harrumphed and pulled on his lapel of his suit, "For shame Hermes, I'm as much a trade god as you are, I won't cheat you, not when I need your services. I'm willing to put down the money you need for your Hermaea festival. You going to hold it at Arcadia like in the old days?"

"Not this year," Hermes said with a dismissive wave of his hands, "I got offers to hold the festival in Athens, they offered to build a large venue, and it can bring in more tourists than at Arcadia according to them."

"Ahh, well I hope it goes down well for you," Ekwensu replied with a nice smile as he brought out his smart phone and pressed down on a few buttons, with Hermes picking up his phone and checking his notifications for his bank account app.

"Well, you really want this don't you. Ok then, let's do this then, but there are some rules you need to know about, Kaos." Hermes informed while getting up and rubbing his hands as blue crackling energy danced between them.

"Ok, I wasn't aware there had to be rules to being a magical thief." Ekwensu muttered with a chuckle

"I'm being serious Kaos", Hermes replied sternly, "First is becoming stealthy, now I can make you blend in but when you move you have to be aware of the little details of your surroundings in order to best mimic them."

"Erm, sorry to interrupt but why can't Ekwensu just turn invisble, I'm aware Hades can be invisible when he can." Ifasola interjected

Hermes narrowed his eyes as Ifasola before answering, "Because Kaos is a lot weaker and so will be subject to the true issue of being invisible, which happens to be loss of vision, because when you are invisible light doesn't enter your eyes. Normally that isn't a problem for fully powered deities and spirits as they don't truly need them most of the time, but Ekwensu is on a semi-mortal level right now, so what works better is to mimic his surroundings."

"But he borrowed powers from Chameleon, shouldn't he be able to already mimic his surroundings?"

"That spirit can only mimic the image and shape of things, not the smell or feeling of them. I can make thieves that honor me feel like they are part of the very background, with a scent or lack of scent good enough to fool dogs. Ekwensu needs to become aware of scents and sounds so that his personal scent and sound doesn't interfere with the mission."

Ifasola shrunk in his seat as Hermes managed to find a rebuttal for every question he lobbied at the god.

"If I can continue without further interruptions, I was also going to say that when stealing items, you need to be able to properly imagine and create something that has similar mass, density and scent and most difficult of all, magic signature. The greater the level of complexity the greater the magic drain will be on you, Kaos, you have to replace those eyes well, you don't want any of Chukwu's guards being alert now do you?"

"So you want me to use all three gifts I got wisely as that I don't mess up my heist is what you're saying." Ekwensu surmized.

"Correct, I suggest that when you take my power, you need to buy several magical orbs and repeatedly put the powers into it so that the magic drain won't be hard on you. Also you will need to make sure that you buy something to mask the fact that you are carrying a lot of magic trinkets on you. Here's a list of buyers and items that you can order that will anonymously deliver to your office shortly for the right price."

Ekwensu considered Hermes' statement and made another transaction on his phone to which Hermes gave a bit of a sly smile.

"I'm curious Kaos, have you thought about what would happen to you if you fail in your mission, or worse, if this body of yours somehow perishes?"

Ekwensu pondered that, the only reply he could give was, "I would likely be returned to the void of space and be forever stuck there, never to interact with the Earth ever again."

Ifasola was confused, "That doesn't really sound like death Mr Ekwensu, if I'm being honest."

Ekwensu shook his head, "Maybe not to most people, but I love this place, I have gotten to see so many wonders and new things and it has never gotten boring, to be denied the pleasure of seeing change occur is anathema to the pure chaos that I am, also, you are forgetting all the friends and family I would no longer be abllowed to ever see or interact with ever again, that's why I have to do this right and put myself in a position where I cannot be banished by Chukwu or be killed in this body by anyone."

"That makes me wonder about another thing, once you get this power from Hermes, can't you just steal whatever it is that weakened you and get your regular powers back?"

"I can't, it was given away in a proper transaction, I cannot get it back unless it is willingly given to me, which the UK government is not likely to do directly with me, which is why I have been trying to build a slow network over the century, I will be able to get it eventually, but I am not holding my breath on completing my mission with my original powers."

"Then why the rush, why not do this when you do get all your power back, you're still a god at the end of the day, time shouldn't mean anything to you."

Ekwensu held up his hand and a midsized gout of flame burst forth from it. Ifasola yelped and fell back in his chair to avoid the flames, while Hermes looked surprised.

Ekwensu dismissed the flames, stared at the wisps of smoke rising from his hand and stated, "Because every few years I grow weaker. Even when I first lost my true strength I could burn an entire forest with a simple gesture, the longer I wait, I might not even be able to light a match in a few decades."

Hermes interjected, "You're, cut off from yourself, and the longer the disconnection, the more you as a god fade, am I right."

Ekwensu nodded, "I'm magic itself, so being cut off means I can't even access the leylines properly that are literally my essence. It's why I need a lot of trinkets just to come close to what I could do even in the early 1900s. Also Chukwu rarely throws parties, only doing so every couple centuries and by the next party I probably couldn't see the things I can still do."

"Ok....but why couldn't you do this when you had your full power?

"Oh yeah, big bad obvious Kaos god striding into Chukwu's palace to steal an item. No, the technology of today makes things a lot better today and with my smaller magic signature, this is the best time to go slightly incognito and do what I need to."

Ifasola felt a bit like he was being treated a bit unfairly, he was a scientists at the end of the day, he wasn't versed in the way of magic and the gods as much aas he would like. But considering everything he was going to gain from this adventure he ignored the chaos god's sarcastic statement for the time being, if he wanted to learn magic, might as well do it when Ekwensu was at this point in his life, as opposed to when he would have been out of reach at his full power. Ifasola made some notes on his tablet as the two gods of trade continued to discuss spells and details irrespective of him, as if he wasn't there at all.

After an hour of deliberation had passed, Ifasola had managed to draw a sketch of the two gods talking over a table with their basic outlines and shapes, he could color it later on his downtime. He finally heard the sound of chairs scraping the floor as they moved and looked up to see the two gods shaking hands. Ifasola strecthed out his legs, feeling stiff from sitting down long with a large tablet pressing down on his upper thighs. Wiggling his fingers he heard the sound of a portal being opened. He had finally found a way to describe the sound of one opening and closing. The opening sound usually felt to him like a miniature vacuum was trying to suck in open air, with the additional sound of the crinkle of foil paper being spread out. It.....was a sound that would take some getting used to honestly and he felt that he would definately hear his fair share of portal sounds by the time this was all over.

Ifasola looked up at Ekwensu as they headed back to the portal at his office and Ifasola asked, "So since we have time before the deliveries, mind teaching me some basic magic?"

Hermes watched the portal close, spotting Ekwensu nodding as the two went through. Sighing, Hermes sat down at his desk, and seemingly, to no one he said,

"He really has gotten weaker."

At the end of his sentence several of the shadows in the office started moving and grabbed chairs of their own. One shadow had the broad shape of a coyote, the other a Japanese raccoon, a giant spider, a large viper , a rabbit, a lynx, a donkey, an adder and an antelope. There were many more shadows of different animals filling up the room, but one factor was clear as Hermes took the form of a Tortoise, these were all fellow Trickster gods and spirits from around the planet.

The rabbit was the first to talk, "He should have been able to notice that we were there, we've never been able to hide from him before."

"This is very worrying and could mean bad news for all of us," continued the Coyote, "What happens to our control of magic if he disappears?"

"I suspect that the planet might become a bit unstable." mused the adder.

"We have two options to go from here, find a way to subtly get him his power back so we can continue going on, or find a way to make sure that things stay stable for us even when he's gone" suggested the Antelope

"Why not do both options?" asked the Lynx, "it will be best just in case anything goes wrong."

Hermes and the other animals gave their nods, very well, best to be cautious.

"I do hope he succeeds though," the spider interjected, "It would be the greatest trick and prank ever pulled."

With that said, all the shadows disappeared, each party deciding how best to go about their job and hatch their own little schemes.