20 Chapter 20 - Hear me Out

Zaffera's Pov

One second I was declaring my love and the next I was escorted by guards back to Palace sitting at the other end of a large table to a furious Queen Mother almost as if I was being put to trail.

The happiness brought by Fenyang acctually beliving me was short lived as I underestimated the consequences to my actions. Can I truly be blamed for wanting to cast everything else aside as I stared into the eyes of who I have recently learned to have fallen for? I was lying to myself everytime I had told Ginn that I hadn't fraternised with the enemy and in retrospection I was talking more to myself than him whenever I tried to make him think otherwise.

"Explain your behaviour Miss Zaffera!" demanded promptly Queen Mother as I stared blanking trying to avoid breaking down before her. Even so I wouldn't know how to defend myself. Flashes of Ginn's intense eyes from a few days back painful spark in my mind as I almost feel his intense grip getting tighter all over again. The moment that marked when I realised that our infatuation was nothing but a dance we partook in to please our guardians and that true, geniune love cannot be arranged.

"I apologise prefusely Queen Mother for disappointing you, however I cannot apologise for the feelings I've began to harbour against our so called 'enemy' " I say mimicking air quotes on the word 'enemy'."But Mot-...Queen Mother, why was I not aware that we had been holding their Royals captive from the last Battle. They all thought them dead." I've heard somewhere that sqweezing your thumb helps to suppress tears and I would really want that to be true right now as I'm literally seconds away from showing this fragile side of mine to her.

"You simply weren't ready, and today's events only further proved my point. Your father's disappearance no longer excuses your rebellious actions." I'm silent at first to her hurtful words but then I realise what to say instead if I truly want to see Fenyang agian.

"You and Father had true love the same way me and Fenyang do, so is it really that naive and rebellious of me to try to appeal that to my own mother? Because I think you would have done the same for Father in my situation a-and..." my voice begins to quiver to a breaking point and warm tears run down my checks as I finally look up to Queen Mother in the eyes and say, "I would do it all over again with or without your approval." I take a stand but don't leave, waiting for her response. But all she says it's a 'you are dismissed' in monotone and quickly leaves the scene. More tears come flooding down.

"I warned you Zaf, don't say I didn't.", speaks a familiar voice who walks towards me and rests his arm on my shoulder to which I instinctively flinch away from.

"Leave me alone Ginn. I can't belive you told Queen Mother I had successfully carried out my mission so we would go to battle right away. How could you?" I spit out like venom as I refrain myself from saying more.

"You deserve better than some foolish King that can't even run his own Kingdom Zaffera..." he strokes my chin with his thumb and inches it upwards so I meet his eyes. Meanwhile I'm paralysed by fear as a strong dejá vu hits me.

"And who would that be, you?" I say staring at his hand to control even the minutest movement. He nods with a smirk and leans forward to kiss me but I stop him promptly.

"I love Fenyang, and I don't care what you or anyone else have to say about him." Next I forcefully shove his hand away pushing him away by his chest and walk away towards my room.

"Like I told you last time, you will regret you actions and when you are ready to leave such a pathetic person I will be here to give you the love you deserve." he shouts to make himself heard.

Once in my room I crawl to a ball hugging my pillow tightly feeling completely alone. Fenyang is the only one I know would listen and confort me right now but as the thought of escaping goes through my mind, the roaming drones remind me that I'm being observed and that isn't an option.

The next day is almost like a repeat of the previous one as Queen Mother called me to the large table again. It's only day 2 of interrogations and I'm already exhausted by it.

Unlike yesterday, this time she is sat down and there are visible dark circle under her eyes which suggests to me that's she's been tired out by this nearly as much as me.

"I have thought very long and hard about this matter, and until you made that point about your father I never would have even considered it. But...upon reflection the long feud between the countries could be estinguised by the joining in partnership of the two heirs and a new era would commence. As much as I don't want to admit it, I was much like you are now when I was young and I suppose I've only been trying to shield you away from my past mistakes. But you aren't me and I can't hold my naivety against you." She claps her hands twice at the end of the sentece to call in one of the helpers," Charles would you escort Zaffera to meet Fenyang for the reunion please,".

A smile, which I try desperately to surpress, creeps its way to my face and all at once all of this heartache seems worthwhile as in a few hours I will be embracing Fenyang once again. Though it was but for a day the thought that it could be forever made every passing second more escruciatingly painful.

"Thank you Queen Mother," I say standing up with a bow to then follow Charles to my ship.

"Zaffera, just call Mother... That's what I am afterall." I nod in respect.

Following that I'm looking at my Kingdom move behind me and in antecipation I hover over tall buildings.