Chapter 5
Pag umaga usually tulog kami ni Mr Leomoro. Gabi 'yung ting-gising namin.
To fully understand my ability I ask Mr Leomoro to help me in expirement. Nag wowonder pa rin ako bakit puppet 'yung ginamit na term sa living person sa diary.
I can actually control Mr Leomoro, but in order to achieve it he must lower his resistance in my threads. Once I turn him into my puppet our thoughts become one.
With that we have a better decision making and I can also let him use one my ability. The thread manipulation. I realized how strong my ability with correct medium.
But it have a negative side effect, once I end my control to Mr Leomoro he will feel very tired that makes him sleep and snoore loudly. He need a one night rest to recover his full energy.
Also it's a huge burden in my energy. Very draining din sa side kong controller. Mr Leomoro said that we might lessen the energy consumption of thus technique once I break from outermost layer of my power core.
Nasa outer layer na siya. Isang level lang 'yung layo namin pero actually were very far from each other.
So I will just use this ability when it's very necessary. I can't lose a bodyguard dapat active siya palagi to protect me since I have very little means to protect my self.
This past few weeks I'm working hard to improve myself because I thought that in order to achieve my goal; to find the sourse of the curse I must be stronger.
It's like a preparation for my future fight. Then I'm wondering if is this really necessary? Of course.
I'm not very sure of what I am doing. I feel like I'm chasing something that I don't know. It's a burden in my mind.
I said to Mr Leomoro na hindi muna kami magsasanay ngayon, wala ako sa mood. I'm in a deep thought. Nasa bobong ako ng bahay nakatingin sa malayo.
Ano bang dapat kong gawin. Feeling ko masyado na akong nag fucos sa pagsasanay nawala na ako sa dapat kong gawin. The question now is ano bang dapat kung pagtuonan ng pansin?
Should I ask our relatives about the information they have long gather about the disease that are still present in our family now. As if naman ibibigay talaga nila.
They don't let a young seed makialam sa problemang hinahanapan parin ng solusiyon ng mga matatanda. Pabigat lang daw kami, and we should stop our delusion na may maiaambag kami.
The elders look down on us because we are not yet ripe, we are lacking with experience and power.
Medyo tama naman sila. Ang hindi ko lang matanggap is parang 'yung mga relevant information na nagather nila is para lang sa kanila. It's not intended for everyone. I wonder why. May implication ba pag nalaman namin?
Napabuntong hininga nalang ako. Wala naman akong intense physical activity ngayon but i feel drained.
"Ba't malungkot ang Fate ko."
If I don't have connection with Mr Leomoro I might not notice na nasa likod ko na pala siya. Hindi ko napansin 'yung movement niya. He is very swift and silent in making movement.
Bagay sa kaniya maging assassin.
He sit beside me.
"Kasi naguguluhan ang Fate mo," I confess to him. I'm thankful na nandito siya kasi at least may nakakausap na ako. Hindi ko na need mag self talk para hindi ko ma feel that I'm alone.
"You can share it to me, baka mabawasan 'yung bigat dito." Tinuro niya 'yung puso ko.
"Hindi ako sure kung anong silbe nang pagsasanay natin Mr Leomoro. Ngayong naging chimera na ako but I feel powerless parang wala namang pinagbago. May kapanyarihan man ako pero wala akong magagawa."
"'Yung tinutukoy mo is 'yung sumpa sa pamilya niyo?"
I simly nod.
"Gusto mo maging very honest ako sa 'yo. It might hurt your ego."
"It's fine siguro need ko masampal ng realidad ngayon para matauhan ako kahit papano."
"Think of it marami nang sumubok alamin ang pinagmulan ng sumpa sa pamilya mo. I'm sure that all of them is in the inner level of their core power, kunting gap na lang they can be called as demigod. Pero wala silang nagawa.
Sila nga na malakas wala paring nagawa ikaw pa kaya. I their front insekto ka pa lang.
My suggeston is you must not chew food that you can't swallow. Start from small steps. Kung minimithi mo na 'yung magiging outcome Fate mawawala ka talaga."
He is correct, naisip ko na 'yan. Iba pa rin 'yung impact pag sa ibang tao mo nadinig. Sino ba naman ako, in my level I can't be someone that will save the day. I can't be someone that will bring hope to my family.
It's the reality. Because of it I don't know what direction to walk on. I only know that I must not accept defeat. I have a cute hope hanggat humihinga pa ako.
"Ano bang dapat kong gawin to be their?"
"Life is not a straight line Fate. You must go out to your comfort zone seek experience to enrich your ability and power.
Remember I'm always in you front to protect you when you're in danger."
Napalingon ako kay Mr Leomoro. He relly like to paint vague idea, 'yung kailangan ko pang pag-isipan 'yung mga sinabi niya to fully understand it. I might misunderstood him because of his hobby.
"So you're suggesting that I must join the battlefield?"
"Exactly. No, the moment you decide that you want to be chimera you're already in the battlefield.
Hindi ka ata aware sa bagay na 'yun. I can't blame you since ikaw ikaw lang yata 'yung nagdecide ng bagay na 'to. Thinking that once you have ready the power you can make changes.
Pero in Chimera world hindi tradition 'yung humanity. It's survival of the fittest.
Kapalit ng power mo is danger. You can't run to it since it was already engrave in your destiny. You're power is in the domain of fate read mine my fate and you will understand."
Very well said Mr Leooro muntik na akong mapapalakpak. Nakuha ko 'yung punto. Thanks to his words medyo gumaan 'yung pakiramdam ko and I realize that napaka naive pala ng desisyon ko very narrow minded. I didn't expect na survival of the fittest pala sa Chimera world.
Akala ko purely blessing ang maging Chimera since you have huge advantage to normal people but that's not the case.
I fucos my sight to Mr Leomoro's outline. Some of his threads are connected to mine. His threads is shakin a bit and it's going to one direction parang minamagnet ito ng external forces.
What's this ngayon ko lang napansin to. May pumasok na ideya sa utak ko. This is inevitable danger, he can't control his fate. Dadating at dadating 'yung panahon na mas lalakas yung pulling force, Mr Leomoro will hunt his prey or he will be hunted.
Survival of the fittest nga.
I break my sight to his thread. Medyo draining siya sa mata at nangangati 'yung empty socket ko.
"As of now your life was steady but it's going to unknown direction. Inside me telling that you're going to made a decision that you will never regret as it's one of your driving force to live and your choice as main purpose in this life.
Your life would be full of trials and difficulties. Masaklap lang is damay ako sa problema mo.
It's fine helping you I might gain a wortless experince to enrich my self."
"I'm not s simple as you think fate. I didn't mean na idamay ka sa gulo ko. But I promise to protect no matter what. That's my new goal in life.
I'm very thankful na willing kang tulungan ako despite not knowing the whole situation. What if I'm a villain like in the fiction."
"Everyone of us is a villain. Are you familiar with the term eudamonnia?"
"Ngayon ko pa lang 'yan narinig."
"Our highest goal in life is to become really happy. In order to achieve it, in the process we might hurt many people, since it's a selfish term. We do it solely for our self not for others. You can say that its your self interest."
"Do you want know Mr Leomoro when can I feel eudamonia?"
"Kung ayus lang sa 'yo."
"Pag nagising na ulit 'yung mga parenst ko. I am able to hugged them tighly again and tell them stories about my life when they are not around."
"It's a goal worth pursuing. Ako naman magiging masaya lang ako pag nakaganti na ako sa mga taong sumira sa buong pamilya ko."
"Pareho tayo ng goal tungkol family."
Itinawa ko na lang ang kalungkutan at pangungulila. Mas lumakas 'yung halakhak ko nang sinabayan ako ni Mr Leomoro.
"Hahahahahahha!"
I stare at him. I smile and said, "Thank you."
"It's my pleasure. Thanks for the new life too."