1 000 | No Soup For The Unlucky

Julian still wondered if it was his lack of stroke of luck or just a curse that had landed him in this spot. Even the Old Lady Meng Po could not continue brewing her Five Flavored Tea of Forgetfulness while debating whether to simply let this unfortunate soul go with his memories intact.

The two individuals are helpless as they stare at the die on the table with a red color dot - ONE.

The probability of rolling to number one in a die is one over six or sixteen percent.

The probability of 16% is little, yet Julian could get this slim chance and always roll a number one.

If this is his first toss, it is still explainable if he gets one. No worry, probability does that all the time. The Old Lady Meng Po thought Julian threw the die on the wrong side, so he was given another chance.

Oh, the second time is still number one. That is still fine. There are really tosses that give the same results.

Why not try to do it again?

There's no harm in trying again. Oh, you still landed on one? Are you sure? That's odd. Let's change the die. Maybe the instrument has a defect.

Toss for another time.

And another time.

Another time.

Well-

Either the Old Lady Meng Po or Julian had given up first. The former had sunk into despair after seeing the same red dot for the nth time, while the latter had found out that being dead was preferable.

The unfortunate soul wasn't discouraged, however.

It's at least possible to keep one's soul sound and secure in this place. Julian believed this place, the "Tian", was the best and safest he had ever been to.

Julian Moore was born in a peri-apocalyptic world where humans were forced to live underground in order to avoid being overrun by beasts and monsters. After a couple of years of struggle, humanity has stabilized, but it has not always been a safe place to live in.

If it's truly safe, Julian won't be dead sitting here in the underworld, confronting the Old Lady Meng Po, worrying about the warped dice. Indeed, Julian's luck has been nothing but negative, even in his previous life. He even took it with him to the afterlife!

"I don't know if I should consider this as luck, or do you even have it? I've never experienced this kind of..."

Old Lady Meng Po sighed in disbelief. She pointed her sharp-nailed fingers towards Julian. "You are not cheating, are you?"

"How can I cheat? I didn't even own the dice, for goodness' sake!" Julian snapped.

He has a strong desire to flip the table over in order to vent his displeasure. He did, however, keep himself from going insane and calm down. Julian would not hesitate to go ballistic if it were any other person, but the person in front of him is the god of resurrection.

If he doesn't exercise self-control, he may as well bid his last goodbyes to his shattered spirit.

The Old Lady Meng Po stroked her chin as she pondered the eighth mystery wonder of the underworld. Ah, there were only seven, but this event will be added to the list. The fact that a mere mortal can defy the odds of breaking the luck meter just adds to the mystique. The afterlife holds many mysteries that have yet to be answered, and Julian's case was one of them.

"The dice will serve as your role in the next world. However..."

However, no matter how many times Julian tosses the die, the result would always be one. Julian nodded absentmindedly as he accepted his fate as cannon fodder. No, even cannon fodders have better luck than him. He cried bitter tears while thinking that maybe he'll be reincarnated as a mushroom...

No, maybe dirt... a speck of dust... an unknown matter...

"Well, that's pretty far ahead. At least we will give you a decent vessel."

Old Lady Meng Po cleared her throat in chagrin. She could clearly hear his grieving thoughts as Julian bemoaned his fate as a non-living being for the next life. Julian looked at him with empty eyes.

"Since we can't change your fate, the least that we could do is to give you a cheat," the old lady snapped her fingers, puffing out a scrolled parchment.

"It is a rule to give credits to people that earned a positive number of karma points. This is the compensation for the good deeds they committed in their previous life. Now, I'm handing you a cheat sheet. Open it once you arrive in the next world. Follow the instructions written on the paper properly."

Julian accepted the scroll but didn't open it. The old lady nodded in satisfaction as she stood up to dispose of the Five Flavored Tea of Forgetfulness in the nearby sink. Julian blinked in surprise as he watched the lady perform the task.

What is this?

Is the Old Lady trying to make him drink the tea from the sink?

"You won't be experiencing a rebirth, so the tea is not needed. This will serve as my gift to you," she said.

The truth is that she was worried about Julian dying within the first five seconds of landing in the new world because his luck had already spiraled out of hand. So she decided to just transfer the young man to the new world with his memories intact.

In addition, she was under the impression that Julian would inform nobody else about his transfer, lest he wanted everyone to think that he had gone crazy.

"Not rebirth? It means that-"

"Yes, you won't start as a baby. Instead, you will occupy somebody's vessel," the old lady said.

"Eh? But won't it cause any problem?"

Julian suddenly imagined a scene where the people are praying vigil into a funeral. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a drop of soul got injected into the dead body and Julian woke up. By reflex, the body that should be dead will suddenly rise and all the people will look at him with horror.

This and that happened and the zombie Julian will be carried in a strapped bed while a group of people in white laboratory clothes pushed him towards a room. His body will be experimented with - taking his blood sample, being electrocuted, being injected with chemicals, etc - and Julian will live his miserable life as a laboratory rat.

What is the use of being alive if he will just suffer?

The Old Lady Meng Po had a sour expression on her face. This man's imagination is quite remarkable, to the point of creating unrealistic situations. Julian dropped to his knees as he groveled before the old lady, his eyes swelled, pearl-sized tears flowing out and his nose dripping with snot. When the other person moved away, he hurriedly hugged the Old Lady's leg as he pleaded.

"Please, just don't let me go. It's fine if I stay here. I will not complain about whatever task you give me. Just don't let me be reborn again."

Julian left his pride and pleaded earnestly. He's always been a shameless individual who would go to any lengths to acquire what he desired. It's no wonder so many people avoid him like the plague: if Julian is any good at anything, it's dragging people in like a leech. There was nothing else they could do but comply with his terms, or else they would be bothered for the rest of their lives.

However, an old god won't be affected by such schemes. The Old Lady only looked at his big puppy eyes before kicking him away. Julian rolled like a wheel and landed on the wall with his legs over his head.

"I already had a lot of employees to pay. Besides, I have no need for a soul."

Also, with Julian's negative luck, he might only bring disaster if she will let him stay. The god still has her own upbringing and won't let any foreign entities disrupt her work. Old Lady Meng Po looked at the face of the soul, whom she had only met twice.

The first meeting was already tragic and had almost cost her some credits. She was not the type of saint to simply forgive someone who came dangerously close to robbing her of her godliness. Her not obliterating his soul the moment she saw him was already considered goodwill.

Old Lady Meng Po shook her head. "You go, shoo. I'm giving you five seconds."

Julian quickly gathered his legs to plead again. "Please, I'm begging you. I won't ask for a salary. I don-"

Before he could start a barrage of sentences, the old lady snapped her fingers, causing the floor under Julian's feet to collapse. It looks the same as those Japanese games where a drop-down trap door is on the floor to make a player fall whenever they choose the wrong door or answer incorrectly. Julian yelled as he fell down to the pit.

After a while, the floor retracted. Sitting down again, the Old Lady breathed a sigh of relief as she prepared her tiny pot and tea leaves for the third time. She had only boiled a couple of leaves when the door to her room slammed open. She raises her brows in response to the person at the door.

"Child, didn't I tell you to knock before-"

"Old Lady Meng Po, there's a problem!"

"Oh? What is it?"

"About the scroll that you requested..."

Julian Moore, age 32, died from a siege and is now given a chance to live a new life again. Well, Old Lady Meng Po hoped she won't be seeing that soul after a while.