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The Defective Detective

(Updates are slow because of certain things) (Volume 1) Taking place in 2018, Mr. William Habitat has the ultimate deduction skills. Deducing the obvious when other people are not able to notice the obvious because they are that dumb. His companion Jane Surname is as sassy as she is brilliant. Together they solve cases and annoy each other like playful children. Join them as you cringe through their adventures with inappropriate jokes and a little bit of gore. (Volume 2) Year 2022. William Habitat and Jane Surname Habitat married each other but continued to consider themselves as best friends. They only married each other to take care and nurture and die together because, the thought of being a sweet couple makes them cringe. They moved to Norway with their pet dog Emily, named after William's sister. Everything was all good until William met a strange man who claims to be Sherlock Holmes, but we all know it is not him. Now they must figure out who this man really is (or was) while facing a man he claims to be Professor James Moriarty. Join them once again in this volume that's probably not as good as the first (Because... "Sequels") but still enjoyable (I think)

FranceBautista · Urban
Not enough ratings
34 Chs

Chapter II

I had received a phone-call once again asking for my detective help. I turned it down. Does nobody remember how much I sucked as a detective last time? I just cannot have a peaceful life, can I?

Another phone-call. They were just so desperate.

"I'm sorry but, I'm done!" I apologized before hanging up.

James had been severely depressed that I had to check up on him everyday to make sure he was not hitting rock bottom. I could not save a hundred lives, including Jane's, but I could still try to save atleast one.

I was walking on my way to James' house when two strange men ran up to me. One of them pushed me against the wall in an alley asking for money and the other one had a knife. I laughed.

"What's so fucking funny?" said one of them

"Give us your money or this knife will fuck you up!" said the other

"Well" I answered "If you are looking for my money I might as well help you"

And just like that I walked to Jame's house with a wound on my stomach and empty pockets. I took him out to eat and play some video games. I did not tell him about getting mugged. I wanted to know more about James but he was just silent. Sure I could still talk to him, but he just would not respond. After that, I walked to Jane's gravestone where I visit once a week. Surely as the days go by the visit will lessen, but that is just how it is. Last time I visited my little sister's gravestone was when I buried the other corpse, the real one, and for that I will visit her once again after Jane.

"Hey Jane" I said infront of her gravestone "The dog is with officer Heinz, just to be safe. I keep losing people and I am tired. There was so much blood and death. I'm taking care of your cousin now, I couldn't save you and I feel bad. You did bad things in the past and got involved in the kidnapping of my sister which led me to where I am now, yes, but you still became my best friend and my wife. How the fuck does that work? How did our relationship become healthy? Well anyway, I don't know what to do now. My dad is in jail and your cousin is lonely and suicidal. I need... " My voice started to shaking "I need... " I paused to think and before I knew it, my tears were already dropping "I need... I don't know what the fuck I need!!" I cried.

I then went to my sister's gravestone.

"Hey, Emily. Long time no talk. What happened to you was unfair. It is truly disgusting how one person can have the audacity to ruin one's life even if it was the life of the kindest man in the world. All that hurt he caused, all that blood he spilled and lives he ruined. He hurt me so much, he hurt you too, he hurt us and yet, I chose to forgive him. He was evil and forgave him! I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. Should I forgive and love even the bad people or should I punish even the good for being kind to bad people!? which one is better!? tell me!" I fell on my knees, screaming "Tell me because I don't know anything anymore!!!"

I went back home and could not sleep for a week. My thoughts were empty and my eyes were baggy. There was no more food left so I needed to get a job. However, in search for one, I kept getting rejected. Maybe, I should go back to being a detective in this stupid town?

About a few days later while I was out with James, I received another phone call. I was about to snap until I heard the caller's voice. He sounded frightened.

"Hello?" I said

"I- is this William Habitat?" said a shaking, frightened voice. I have had trust issues ever since the events of being a detective so I pretended to be my butler, if I had one.

"No, but I will deliver the message" I lied "The young master asks why isn't it Agatha calling?"

"That's the th-thing... h-he i-is" he said before a static sound, indicating I was losing connection.

"Speak up?"

"He i-is bleeding o-on t-the table with a knife through his h-head"