Day out with my siblings.

Racheal's p.o.v,

I'd woken up on the wrong side of bed, I was dead angry. The mood I was in yesterday was still raw in my system.

yesterday was such a fucking bad day. I Swear if I am  given another  chance to go back, I'll kill Jayden. I can't believe he've the nerves to bring up an old topic, blaming me for clarrisa leaving. Is it my fault that clarrisa is fucking being naive and self-centered?

Okay fine, I admit I'm somehow on the wrong, I shouldn't have make things more worst knowing fully well about her past but then I was just fucking hurt by her not being appreciative of what we did for her and I just couldn't control myself. 

At least I'm already remorseful for that, there's no day that passes that I don't ask Antonio about her because I know her keeping tabs on her and thankfully he always assures me she's safe.

As I trudged through the stairs, I was flabbergasted to meet mattoe sitting on the stair case. Cause one, it was way too early I mean it's just 5am. I don't really know why I even left my room but let say I just had to.

Two, I've not set an eye on him throughout yesterday and then thirdly he was just shirtless.

"Mattoe...." I cooed, he lifts  his head up a bit from his palms and I nearly gasped when I saw the redness in his eyes and the gaint veins popped on his forehead.

"Are you alright Matoe?" I frowned with a glitch of concern.

"I don't think I am..." his voice came out as a groan and he knocked his head back down on his palm. "If you know of any nearest place to get painkillers please help me with it racheal"

"Huh? Why? You having a fever." I placed my palm on his neck to feel his temperature.

"I'm having a bad headache and fucking stop the questions and help me shooo." He groaned out in obvious pain as he rocked his head on his palm.

Rolling my eyes and Without asking more question, I climbed back upstairs. I didn't know where exactly to get pain killers but after running the kitchen and my room, I finally found some tablets in clarrisa's cupboard. I went back to meet him, fetching a cup of water from the kitchen.

"Here you go" I said while offering the tablets and water to mattoe. He immediately took two pills from it and then gulp it down with water.

"Thanks a lot Racheal" He sighed.

"Now tell me where have you been throughout yesterday and what happened to you?" I asked on a serious note.

"I don't know. I can't even remember a shit." Mattoe replied in a monotone.

"What? How's that even possible. Did you get drunk or something?"

"Something like that" he says nonchalantly which got me upset.

"Hey, You aren't trying to hide secrets from me after I saved your life are you?" I smacked him on his arm. He look up from where he was seating and after giving me a feigned sad frown, she smiled-a smile that didn't really reach his eyes.

"C'mon kiddo don't be too hard on me." He stood up and cupped my cheeks, stroking my hair as he continue "I seriously don't can't remember everything that went on yesterday. I understand that you are being concerned for me and I really really really appreciate that Richie.  trust me I'll never keep secrets anyway from my sister except I don't want you to worry about me."

"Richie?" I frowned. "That's a guy's nickname. Hello, I'm a girl." I say jokingly, even though I love being tagged as a boy though.

"Really? How come I see you more like a guy? I mean you're the very version of me when I was young, strong, bold and stubborn" mattoe joked poking my nose and I couldn't help but laugh. The atmosphere soon turned into a cheery one, even though I know mattoe was hiding something, I just didn't push it.

"Now tell me how was your day yesterday, how much did you miss me and was your night" mattoe asked while wrapping his hand around my shoulder. That was how we ended up talking about that motherfucking Jayden. I needed someone to vent on and thankfully mattoe willingly let me vent on him. He also took my side of course after telling him the whole story. He assured me that he was going to treat Jayden's fuck up. Like me, he was dead angry at Jayden. Mattoe is starting to be my partner in crime and that's just one reason I like him.

Before my other  brothers woke up, mattoe managed to lure me into preparing breakfast with him. I didn't want to join at first because I didn't want to be a part of preparing anything for Jayden but again mattoe lured me to, perharps he was a good companion for the morning so I just joined him.

But the weird part was that unlike preparing just one dish on a norms, he prepared several dishes which he told me were all Antonio's Favourite. I asked him why he decided to prepare Do something that meaningless and he told me he just felt like. I could vow he was going to prepare more if not that Liam had barged into the kitchen yawning loudly as usual.

"What's the meaning of all these mattoe?!" Antonio asked in bedazzlement referring to the dishes on the table which had been arranged by me, mattoe and Liam. We just finished arranging it when Antonio walked down as if planned.

"Uhm I...I just wanted to you know surprise you. It's okay, you don't have to eat everything, I made them all so you can make your choice ." It may sound absurd but mattoe  was actually fidgeting avoiding Antonio gaze but pretending to be setting the cutleries that was already arranged. Antonio after giving him a long cold stare, pulled out a chair and sat down. I reached for a seat too but Jayden's hands met it first. 

No giving a fuck, I glared hard at him then snatched the chair away from him. He scoffed and rolled his eyes then took another seat. There was a awkward  silence as everyone eyes flashed between me and Jayden. For a moment I thought Antonio was going to scold either of us when he sighed but no, he faced mattoe instead.

"Now mattoe tell me This isn't any form of bribe to shut me up about yesterday, is it?" He asked sternly before anyone could pick a spoon.

With that everyone of us turn our attention to mattoe.

"A bribe?" Mattoe asked innocently after taking glances at us. "I don't know what you're talking about Antonio"

"Seriously mattoe you dare try to act ignorant after ruining one of my most favorite fucking outfit yesterday?" Jayden yelled and that got me scoffing. Like what's with this guy picking a fight with everyone.

Again mattoe acted all ignorant and that was where Antonio intervene. "Why the fuck did you get drunk yesterday mattoe. What the hell went on with you?"

"Drunk?" Liam asked looking at mattoe and that cause  mattoe's eyes to become red in rage.

"Yeah, drunk what's the fucking big deal  in that. Like you don't drink?" He spat at Liam.

"Hey, don't start with me. I just ask a fucking question. You could drink your brains off all you want. Your choice." Liam retorted with a sarcastic  shrug.

"Mattoe do you know how much of a mess you were yesterday? A junk? Why will the fuck will drink to the point of getting into a nameless fight with some fuckers? What if you weren't lucky enough to be found by our boys huh?" Antonio scolded.

"I'm sorry but I guess I'm up to the official age to drink regardless of your dumb rules." Even though the statement was rude, he said it in a quite polite way.

"Drinking' and drinking to stupidity is different. Rules aside, YOU FUCKING PUKED ON MY EXPENSIVE PANT YESTERDAY!" Jayden yelled the last statement.

"You don't have to yell Jayden. I'm sorry okay? I'll buy you a néw one and even triple it if you want. Satisfied"

Jayden wanted to to speak but Antonio spoke first.

"Do you really have to result to drinking mattoe?" Antonio was now soft, concern evidence in his eyes. Instead of mattoe to respond, he only apologized again.

"What happened mattoe? Why did you have to drink, where did you even left to early morning yesterday and why was your phone not reachable?"

"I'm really sorry Antonio but is none of your business really. Beside I'm over it now. Let's just eat." Mattoe said avoiding Antonio gaze and  picked up his choke stick. Antonio didn't push the issue any further. As everyone began taking their chop stick, Antonio diverted to me. He first asked how my night went and I didn't bother to hide the truth from him, it was the worst night ever. I said that while glaring at Jayden.

Antonio apologized on Jayden behalf  but Jayden Didn't say shit. Well his luck cause I might had shove my fork down his throat if he had opened that gutter mouth of his.

I Wanted to ask Antonio about clarrisa but decided against it. I Don't have the energy for another fucker flaring up on me again.

I mean that was the same question I and Liam had tried asking Jayden when he came acting like a duck but it only angry him.

Pfff!!!

A lot of food was put to waste after breakfast. I mean the dishes were just too much, despite the fact that Liam ate so much like a horse, a lot was still remaining but none of my brothers seem to even care so I didn't care too.

They owe the money so it's up to them to  waste things however they want.

"Did your contract went well?" I asked Antonio the moment it was remaining just us in the dining area. Mattoe and Liam cleared the table and Jayden disappeared to... I don't really care to know.

Antonio lifted his gaze from the phone he was pressing and look up to face me.

"Oh yeah. It went perfectly successful. We were able to seal the deal with the clients and those are one of the biggest investors here in Italy that mean more billions topping." I didn't really expect he will give that much details cause they've all been excluding me and Liam from their business affairs but I don't really mind though, I actually even asked that question to break the small silence.

"Thanks for asking Anyways" Antonio said with a smile and I reciprocated the smile too.

"Did you went to visit clarrissa?!" My curiosity got the best of me suddenly and I asked that.

He nodded positively but he wanted to say something else when his phone rang. Guess it was a business call cause he told the person he will be right on his way before he hung up. He gave me the  usual goodbye kiss on the forehead before leaving.

After going over my morning routine, taking my bath and stuff, I was back at the living room. I shuffled through the television Chanel trying to find a movie but they were all boring. I just before the glass window doing something actually new, I was watching the birds flying, the greens surrounding the earth. I never knew our house was this far up high until I notice how small the bungalow houses were as I stared, they were like ants.

Hours past and I was just here alone observing and admirating nature.

"She's fine." Someone said behind me all of a sudden. I jolts and turn to see Liam.

"Your twin is perfectly fine." He replied my questioning look.

"I didn't ask did I?"

"I know you wanted to know her current condition  that's why you asked Jayden about her yesterday" Liam said mater of fact.

He then went over to tell me how Antonio and Jayden had went to her upon hearing from one of her secret protector that she was in danger. Antonio happened to gun down a   fucker before clarrissa  and she got more scared and angry at our brothers. She pushed them away and that was what apparently got Jayden boiling under covers.

"And he've go pin the whole thing on me" I said angrily to Liam.

"Don't mind him Racheal, you know how much of a dick he can get when he's enraged." Liam scoffed.

Well he should fucking keep it to himself and stop involving me.

"I intend to go visit clarrissa though. Wanna tag along?!" Liam  said and i arched a brow at him asking. "I thought Antonio strictly warned us that we should stay clear from her till he deems it fit to bring her home."

"I know right? But I'm going agitation his orders." He scoffed. "I really hope I can convince her to come back." There was a glitch of sadness in Liam eyes as he said that.

Though I didn't fully support that but there was no point staying back at home when I'll sure die of boredom. Liam Is actually the only one who've my time and always keeping me company. I don't blame the rest of my brothers because I know they are busy, perhapes Liam is even more fun. Antonio as a workaholic would only get distracted texting on his phone anytime we manage to be together, Jayden... pfff we only ends up in a fight and mattoe is rarely at home.

I agreed to go with Liam to go meet clarrisa. I got dressed up, styling my hair in a pony tail and wore on a German jean and crop top. I met Liam waiting for me at the living room, all dressed up. He was with a black hoodie and holding a similar one in his hands which he'd secured for me.

"You know you should stop treating me like a baby Liam, it's not nice" I whined with a soured look as he was trying to coax me into letting him wear me the cardigan. As usual he still had his way, he turned me around and wore me the cardigan.

"Now there you go." He smiled admiring his cardigan on me. "I know you will always wear something skinny so that's why I got the cardigan ready. The weather isn't nice And you know As long as I'm your elder brother, you're my baby." He winks and ruffled my hair.

"Where are you guys going?" We we're just about leaving when Matoe walked right into us and asked that. He's all dressed up like he's going somewhere.

"You didn't go with Antonio to the company anymore?" Liam asked instead.

"Figured out I'm not really needed there so tell me where are you going. I am tagging along anyway." Matoe said.

Liam tried telling him he can't but he insisted and Liam have to spill the beans. "We are going to clarrisa matoe."

Matoe furrowed his brows and said, "that's against Antonio strict order.." Liam rolled his eyes and then Matoe signed. "But who cares. Let's go."

Matoe didn't have to get dress up anymore. 

The all three of us walked out of the house and settled in a sport car. Liam did the driving and In  few minutes time we got to our destination.

When we arrived, we met a woman gardening. Clarrissa adopted mother, obviously. She didn't notice us at first until we have to walked up to her. Turning at the Sound of our footsteps, she gasped in shock and the watering pot fell off her hand.

"A pleasure to meet you once again ma'am" Liam greeted with a small smile.

The woman looked so scared of us but in a firm voice, she snapped. "What are you all doing here again? What do you want this time."

"You don't have to be upset with us ma'am and I guess you know we are already. No offense, we Came to see our sister." Matoe was polite but his icy voice wasn't playing a greet role.

"And Don't be scared of us ma'am. We aren't bad people" Liam smiled softly.

"Right but I'm sorry clarrissa doesn't want to see you guys, for the time being." The woman declared with her head bowed.

"Really? Is that clarrisa's choice or you are one who's trying to dictate for her?" I riposted, both Matoe and Liam looked at me but didn't say anything.

"Why will I dictate for her? After the incident of yesterday she..."

"Just tell her it's Liam. Antonio nor Jayden isn't here. I'm sure she'll come out" Liam cut the woman off impatiently but the woman playing stubborn, insisted that clarrissa won't come out and she orders us to leave.

"You can't fucking deprive us  of seeing our  sister Woman!!" I have to yell but in that instant, a familiar voice yelled back at me.

"don't yell at my mother,  Racheal." The angry voice yelled and in manner of slow montion, we all turned to meet the anger gaze of clarrisa. She was holding a. Big poly bag.

Clarrisa's POV,

I'd been busy at the kitchen preparing lunch while my mother was outside tending to her flowers. Handling the food just for today, is the least I can best do to appreciate her for all that she's been to me.

She's been my source of solace, my puller of comfort, understanding, and the only person I'm truest truely free with. Especially yesterday, mother helped me tackled a severe panic attack. When the scene of my brother killing someone in cold blood kept torturing me, mother was there. I can bet she didn't sleep a wink all through the night because she's nursed and cuddled me, making sure I was alright.

After getting things in the oven, I baggage some waste products and headed out to dump it. To my uttermost surprise, I walked into three of my siblings and Racheal yelling at mother.

I could tell mother was dissipating in fear because her head was bowed, I felt hurt—my siblings had scared her.

"Clarrisa!" Matoe and Liam called at once after I've  yelled at Racheal to stop yelling at mother. They both wanted to hug me but I stepped back.

"Wh...what are you doing here?" I quivered, not daring to look Liam in the eyes because it'll hurt too much to see his sad face. I've missed Liam  so much, I won't lie.

"Clarrisa we came to see you" Matoe said.

"Okay then you've seen me right?" I said and not my lower lips.

"Tsk!..." a chuckle which sounded like a scoff left Liam's lips. "Not like this clarrisa youve to let us in. We've so many things to talk about you know. We've missed you so much. We can't just see you now and leave just like that." Liam said with an hoarse voice.

I wasn't exactly sure if I could face any of them right now and if my mother would agree to it. I'd to insist that they leave me alone but I couldn't stand on my ground as I finally looked at Liam face, he actually made me do it though.

There was unshed tears in his heart and I know I was already hurting him, I was hurting mattoe too trying to turn my back on them and Racheal, she simply have this remorse glitch in her eyes but at the same time, she was singing and huffing in anger and something close to faustration. However I didn't permitted them in for their sake, I did it just for Liam. I mean he wasn't among my siblings who broke my trust.

As we all settled down inside, mother couldn't get her feet off her eyes but he  asked them to join us for lunch anyway  and they did. The dining was awfully awkward. Mum was literally trembling at the presence of them.

"And...Thank you ma'am for taking good care of our sister. I really do appreciate it" Matoe finally broke the awkward  silence.

"Well, She's my daughter too. I will do anything for her so you don't have to thank me" a smile that didn't reach mother's eyes displayed on mother face.

"She Was..." Racheal corrected with a muffle. Everyone of us still heard though because we  we all threw gazes at her but no one said anything to her.

The lunch quite fast and the most awkward lunch I've ever had, I couldn't keep eye-contact with my brothers. I felt really really shamed of myself, that I'm a rebel. I don't know why they are here even but I'm pretty sure they've officially come to tell them that they want to cut ties with me. I mean since I decided to choose mother over them. Honestly I wouldn't hold it against them if that's why they are here because...

"So ma'am first of all thanks a lot for the meal. It was delicious. As a food specialist. You are a tremendous cook I must say" Matoe complimented, nodding with a smile.

"Well my pleasure but Clarissa actually prepared it." Mother said.

Amusement crossed my brother's faces and they started commending me and praising me for being an excellent cook. The only thing I did was nod my head. "Honestly you are a good cook clarrisa." Racheal added to my surprise, with no emotions though.

"Thanks" I said after staying quiet for a while.

"So ma'am we would like to go out with our sister would you mind?" My heart skipped when Liam asked that.

"We didn't make any  arrangements for today so If clarrissa is  okay with it then why not,"mother said after glancing at me.

She then stood up and came to peck me on the head. "I'll leave you to your brothers clarry" she crinkled with a small smile and i scowled at her. Without waiting for my response, she walked out of the living room.

Now it was just me and my siblings. Nervousness was bubbling within me as all stared at me in silence  for  a while.

"Clarrisa we are sorry for..." both Matoe and Liam started at the same time, they paused, looked at each other with a frown and then laughed.

Matoe then started with solemn voice,

"Clarissa I very well know that I don't really deserve your forgiveness but on behalf of my brothers, we are really sorry for betraying your trust. I swear it was never our intention to... we only did what we thought was right." Matoe said apologetically, his eyes glowing softly with remorse and Liam followed suit  saying,

"And I apologize,  on Antonio's behalf yesterday" Liam added c

Pff!! If only he knows I'm more of scared than angry, in-fact I'm not even angry. I dare not to. I'm just being really... traumatized.

"Clarrissa," I gulped hard when Racheal called my name, slowly I turned to face her as she was sitting beside me.

"I'm also sorry too but all the hurtful things I've said to you. I didn't really mean all those. I was just hurt because I didn't expected your reaction, I thought you'll be grateful for us for what we did but it's alright, I've come to realize that I'm on the wrong. We all shouldn't have taken actions  against your will. I'm truly truly sorry and I really hope we could get back together again as one big happy family." Racheal said with doleful smile. Honestly, I tried to search through her eyes to be sure she wasn't faking but she looked so genuine with her apology.

Both matoe and Liam had satisfactory smiles on their faces after Racheal apologized.

Honestly I didn't even know what to do. Deep down I know I'm less angry at Racheal and more nervous around her, especially since she've mood swings and as for my brothers, after Antonio's display yesterday, I can't bring myself to trust them anymore. Yes I know thy are mafias okay but I... I just don't know they are that dangerous.

I mean Antonio leisurely gunned a man down like it was a normal day to day activity.

"I'm...I. You see..." After staying silent for a while, and doing nothing but biting my lips, I finally voiced out.  "Thanks for reaching out for me but Even if you apologize, it wouldn't change anything. I accept it, I truly do but understand that I can't go back with you guys especially now that I know how dangerous you guys are. Antonio killed someone in cold blood. I'm not angry but I'm  scared." Slowly with every word I say, my voice became more weak and trembled.

"What?!" Matoe yelled in shock. I don't know if he was really surprised though or feigning ignorant. I could swear he was going to ask questions but Racheal cut him off.

"But like seriously clarrissa,  don't you think we've known each other to point of knowing that even though our brothers are into some shit they can never hurt you?" Racheal wasn't angry but her voice sounded anger. "Yes they may be dangerous but dangerous to protect you. Clarrisa can't you see it." Racheal said, kneading my arm. 

I heaved with a deep sigh to relieve myself of the tension in my system.

"I understand but nothing you will say will change my view. I'm sorry." I whispered and stood up. "I'm really sorry." I immediately started parking up the dishes on the table then when I was down, I said "Goodbye." And I  left with the plates and rushed to the kitchen.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and closed my eyes to hold back  the traitorous tears threatening to fall down.

A lot of thoughts rushed through my head. Did I do the right thing walking out on my siblings? As a huge part of me insists that they will never do anything to hurt me even though they are dangerous, I felt so devastated.

Devastated that I'm trying to push the people who matters a lot me away from me. What if they never gets to forgive me?

Argh!! I was tugging my hair when the door opened and Liam walked in.

His eyes was concealing so much pains. I suddenly felt uncomfortable at his presence, I felt so self-centered. Liam asked if I was alright, I mean despite the fact that I've wrong them a minute ago, my well being was still his priority and he made sure to calm me down by helping me with a class of water.

"Clarissa I am not here to pressure you into changing your even though I'll want that though but can you hear me out?" Liam asked while stroking my hair back and after staying silence for a while, I slowly nodded my head.

He smiled end took my hand making me seat on the tiled counter while he seats beside me.

Honestly I've never been this nervous around liam. Knowing that I've wrong them and still he's here warming up to me, is alarming or is he here to finally tell me that they are cutting ties with me.

God...please...No. I just need time and...

"Antonio and everyone of us maybe dangerous  as you qualified but trust me when I say this—we will never lay a finger on you. I can swear an oath to that and bet with my goddamn life. Antonio didn't mean to traumatize  you clarrissa." Liam voice came and I listened in silence.

"If Antonio was in his right state of mind, trust me he wouldn't shoot that man right in front of you cause he knows how bad he could spur up your anxiety, we all do." He said solemnly.

What does he mean by Antonio wasn't in his right state of mind, I wanted to ask him that though but he spoke on.

"I know it's pointless telling you this but I just have to. Antonio was sorta traumatized when he saw the scenario of that bastard hurting your adopted mother or you, he lost his cool, he always does each time something trigger his experience in the past, basically our mothers' his emotion got the best of him and he did what he gave to do" Liam said every word in tense seriousness.

"Traumatized?" I couldn't help but frown at that. I mean it sounds absurd to hear Antonio, like the all cold and fierce eldest brother of mine 'being traumatized'

Liam nodded and that was how he starts telling me the story of our parents-my biological parents whom neither me nor Liam really have any bond with. According to Liam, Antonio had told him the story.

I was so devastated to know that like me, mother have not only been physically abused by dad but also abused her sexually and Antonio was old enough back then to witness everything. He witness every detail of it. I could only imagine how much pains he would been back then when he will see father abuse his mother and he couldn't do anything-of course just thinking about it alone is traumatizing.

"So ever since then, Antonio develop so much hatred for men who hurt women and kids, same hatred goes to anyone who takes drugs because dad being a drug addict had influenced his views of drug in-takers, to him they are all monsters and he doesn't waste time in killing them in an instant." Liam said ending the horrible story.

I suddenly grew hatred for the biological man that birthed me. How could he do all those to his own wife?

"And...whe...where is dad now?" I don't even know why I asked that but it came out first. A tear dabbed on my thigh and that was when I realized I'd been crying while Liam was telling me about mother. Don't blame me if I always gets emotional easily, I mean from the fact that I've been through abuse and know how it feels, there was this sudden bond in my heart for Mum—my biological mother-even though I haven't met her yet. It hurt me so much.

"The fucker dad in a war" Liam casually said and scoffed then when he noticed I was sulking, he hugged me and rocked my back till I was alright.

After hearing mother's story, I suddenly couldn't find it in me to stay back at the house anymore . I might just die of depression. My adopted mother alone wouldn't be able to cheer me up.

The story   was living rent free in my head and I needed something to rid it off so I apologized my siblings and agreed for the outing. After taking permission from mum, letting her know I'll be going out with siblings, I got set.

"Enjoy your day sweetie." Mother  kissed my mother, crinkling with a smile. I base her goodbye too with a smile and walked out of the room. Mother had helped me find a dress. I was a black pinafore shot and pink turtleneck- which my brothers of course for me.

"Wow you stunning  sis." Mattoe said immediately I walked back to them at the living room.

"Of course she's a princess so anything will look good on her." Liam complimented and I chuckled.

"Well a princess with such a barbaric sense of hair style would be No No for me." Racheal said the obvious.yeah, I'd parked my hair in messy bun and mother had never been good with hair.

Liam and mattoe flashed Racheal a feigned glare for her comment though.

"C'mom dudes that's the truth. Your hair  look messy sis but come seat here let me help you." Racheal smiled, patting on the couch she was sitting on while standing up but Liam god on the way, saying "don't stress Racheal, let me help."

And that was how both Liam and Racheal starts arguing over who will do my hair. The sight was humorous though, I couldn't help laughing and then I realized I'd missed my family.

However, Racheal won because I chose her over Liam for peace sakes.

"So where we going?"  I asked as I followed my siblings out to where they've parked an expensive looking sport car.