Sir qostoq, this is gonna be VERY long and I'm sorry but I read only until chapter 5. If I had gone up to twelve, this review would have taken at least 2 and half hours to write. Don't worry, I'm used to judge single chapters, so I'm not hasty with grades neither I like to shame an entire novel based on few chapters.
At first sight, your style is solid and not bad, the story is well-built and characters too. But note "at first sight".
Your grammar is already at that point where I can't personally judge with accuracy. English is not my first language and I don't want to be an arrogant prick. So, I called PlainJane (translator) and fed her the first chapter. She's truly a b. when it comes to grammar so don't worry. She gave it a 2/5, but that's on high standards. So, considering you're new to writing, I'll personally rate it 4/5. Note carefully, I'm gonna evaluate everything not on a pro-standard, but on a beginner one.
Your story conceal a lot of problems; these are not that big BUT you need to tackle them asap.
The style is congested and suffers from character-overcrowding. I read with a lot of attentions - as I usually do while doing analysis - and still found hard to follow all the names and details. Yes, the structure is not bad, but it's too pedantic and punctilious. Try to lighten up your style: your sentence-building is up to standard, but now you have to consider the entire paragraph style and on a multiple paragraph level. Give us enough details, not too much. Voltaire always said that being verbose is not just a stylistic clumsiness, but an impairment to action; "You have to be concise and sapid, otherwise Mme Pompadour's ministers, functionaries and maid will do curlers with your book", letter to Moulton, 6 january 1763. [Please, Voltaire, pardon me for the ****ty translation, i beg you], also, "the secret to have someone bored is telling everything", letter to d'Alambert, 1756.
So try to manage the weight of information on your readers in best way possible, don't give less than needed and don't give more either. Spread information evenly, withouth having too much in the same sentence, paragraph and chapter. Readers are a lazy bunch and you always need to make them not too much comfortable, ofc, but neither too little.
I felt quite invested in the story if I consider it's not a pro-production. raises the thumb
BUT! the story lacks a soul and originality. I felt warm feelings from the MC's mom and some humour from the female cultivators, but that's all. In five chapters - and note, you have a cripple as MC - I expect to be MUCH MORE torn and suffering. This can be bound to the previous comment about being verbose. You ruin the atmosphere with too many words and kill the feeling while it's blossoming. You're not Cicero, you're not putting your characters on trial. Be short, be concise and give your characters more life!
I would literally beat you senseless if you ruined a good start with too many words.
4/5 for the story and world-building, good emulation of a Xianxia but needs to be more original and lifelike. Good foundation!
Being a xianxia-like story, I expect an explained "system". That's the word I use in italian when talking to new authors. Explain the levels and tiers of people in the first 3 chapters, so that we can have a clear idea about power relations between characters after.
Being near to the end of this review, I want to give you an advice.
If you do not have an editor, find a good one, possibly with a literature-study-background. If you already have one, wake him up, he's sleeping on his work.
4/5 overall, not bad at all but a lot of work to do boi
