Entry Eighteen

Dear Diary,

I feel a bit flabbergasted by my most recent visitors to the dungeon. Three elderly men came through the dungeon today and I ended up having to help them leave. My slimes might be weak, but one nasty fall can still very easily lead to a hip or head injury. They're lucky they didn't end up with a concussion, but they were definitely limping by the time I ran into them.

It kind of makes me regret hanging out near the dungeon core room. I've just been worrying about whether I might be bothering the adventurers with how often I go out to greet them. That, apparently, isn't what dungeon masters normally do. I don't want to end up accidentally scaring off adventurers by not giving them space to do what they need to do. It would be a different story if I had an excuse to seek them out, something that made them look forward to me visiting them. However, I'll have to spend a good amount of time thinking about that because I don't have a single clue right now.

I do have to say, I'm starting to dislike the local town's leader. Apparently, Greggory and his son, Henry, have stopped visiting my dungeon because the leader put a ban in place for locals that prevents them from visiting the dungeon. As part of that, the elderly males decided to check out the dungeon to see if it was safe enough for their younger family members to visit. Some sort of stupid self-sacrificing nonsense. Just because they are old doesn't mean their lives don't hold value. Their families would likely hold just as much of a grudge against me and my dungeon for them dying as they would if someone younger were to die.

In other news, I've decided to make a scavenger-hunt room that incorporates the language of flowers. Lee used to surprise me with flowers for special occasions or sometimes just because and he always loved to share what each flower in the bouquet meant. I had different interests, but I still spent some time studying the book he bought on the subject for me. Now, I can't help but want to incorporate such memories into my dungeon. I want to share my love for my husband with the whole world, even if they likely won't ever know what value this room holds for me.

I often dream of Lee and its always bittersweet. I feel happy getting to see his face, reliving such precious memories, but it always feels sad to wake up once more, knowing that I'll never get to make new memories with him. I appreciate this unique aspect of being a dungeon master, but I just don't think I'll be able to move on from my husband so long as his memory is still alive. I don't even feel like I want to move on from him. Still, I know that always bottling up my emotions and not properly grieving his death isn't going to do me any favors in the long-run. However, it isn't like I can get a therapist here, I'm lucky if I even get to have a proper conversation with anyone from day to day.

I should probably stop here... I need to distract myself from such thoughts.

-Violet