1 0. Prologue; The lost ones

"It's raining..."

"so what?" he replied to himself.

"it's just... I want to die."

he looked down at the destroyed city where he used to live his whole life.

"is that so? You still have the responsibility of all those people you've lost and still haven't succeeded, and yet, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑖𝑒?!

𝐽𝑈𝑆𝑇 𝐿𝐼𝐾𝐸 𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇??"

His voice became more and more desperate as he talked longer. And his breath got heavier by each breath he took.

There was a silent break.

" *sigh* " he looked at the corpses of thousands rather hundred-thousands of people lying around in the city, burnt to rather an unrecognizable extent, with a painful expression on their faces.

"it was not easy nor a merciful death for you all,

was it...?"

"this is what happens if you're naiv enough to think that you can save everyone, huh...?"

and so, he kept putting himself down.

"I never thought that I'd be in this pathetic state."

Blood dripped down from the cliff in the sight of his eyes. He realized the blood came from his head.

'If I don't go anywhere I would lose my consciousness'

Thought he, but didn't move an inch.

He looked behind himself, he saw a big forest and where he was standing was a cliff, high enough to break all his bones to an unrecognizable pile of squishy mess. He felt that as if a hundred hammers would hit him over and over again until he didn't feel anything no more, if he would fall at this height.

He thought about it, but did not dare to imagine the pain he would suffer until he would be freed...

At least he would lose consciousness while falling, he thought. He closed his eyes... and fell asleep while thinking about revenge, guilt and remorse.

Every memory came up to his mind, everything became clear for him, his mind, his soul and heart.

'Yes, it's too late' he thought, pitifully trying to hold back his dried out eyes to not accumulate tears, for his eyes would shed painful blood drops with a burning sensation, because of the uncountable times he had cried for the hard times he did not try to bear.

"So it's true that one cannot find any success in purpose if your will to live is as little as you anticipate your life is worth to be...

I have achieved everything in life, yet did not feel any satisfaction. I felt every single drop of feelings, yet I cannot express my hopelessness. I... am a fool."

so he declared with a breaking voice and long silence.

"𝙹𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚜 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝, 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞?"