Comforting Darkness

She agreed to stay it was not a promise, though he managed to change her mind. Soft spoken sugar-coated words, empty promises that was immediately broken within the next day.

Prince Wang Jian rode a palanquin big enough to fit an entire clan in it, surrounded by silken sheets and fluffy pillows. Fan took the spot beside him, gleaming with her eloquent beauty and blinding simper. She was like a dashing princess parading before the worshiping commoners.

Her chin held primly and her shoulders proud. It's no longer fresh news in the palace of the first wife's return and yet the prince still chose his precious concubine to be by his side.

Ying  Yue stood still as she watched the funeral-like procession, jerking her chin away as soon as the palanquin crosses her path. It was like a death parade and she wanted nothing more than to turn it into a real death parade.

Slit their throats and murder them side by side. Killed by the jealous wife. But Ying  Yue would rather not give them a gruesome romantic death.

She felt her chest caved in and that's when she knew she lingered a little too long. Ying  Yue stepped off without direction meandering to the quieter part of the palace.

Ying  Yue merely stays in the castle invisible, breathing, existing, and, unseen.

The days passed like a blur and there hasn't been a day when she hasn't contemplated on leaving...escaping.

She begged Wang Jian for her sword back...at least, promising him she would not make attempt on his life.

He believed her, and he rewarded her the sword he long ago confiscated. She was happy, she at least had that. 

Within the idleness of her time, she spent them wandering around. Sometimes playfully eluding the band of servants and guards Wang Jian thought was necessary to follow her around. It was the only fun she had until she realized the guards were punished for losing her, so she stopped as soon as she found out.

Some days, she simply stayed in the bedroom and disappeared.

She enjoyed the serene calmness of her solitude even though she never felt alone, because sometimes, she can feel that heavy shadow sitting beside her, breathing, watching, and keeping her company.

A thought.

A man.

Then a snarl and a sudden surge of sadness, and loneliness.

She conceded to the darkness despite Wang Jian's constant warning and pressing upon staying away from it. It was calming, and it smelled of honey, and she wished she could talk to it...whatever it is.

She was near stupor when Prince Wang Jian barged in snd slammed the door wide open.

Her eyes snapped wide open, stirred, yanking herself up. The shaded room brightened up as if a cloud dust whisked away and made way for the sun.

He noticed none of this. Not the dreariness, not the sudden brightness streaming in. He did however noticed the dullness in her eyes.

She stared at him, mouth open, and a frown, wondering what brought him to the bedchamber when it's not even sundown, yet. Wang Jian stared at her a little too long with obvious concern as though he was studying or reading her.

"What is it?" She asked, dropping her head back down on the mattress.

He didn't answer, only eating away the distance from the door to the mattress. He sat by her side. Hand gently resting on her arm. She tried shaking it off, but he refused to let go.

She found out fighting him to get off was too much energy, so she simply let him.

"Get off me, Jian." She murmured at least.

He took his hand off only to move it to her shoulder.

"Get off me, Jian."

"Do you not want me here?" He asked softly.

He was either hot or cold, never in the middle and today, he's burning.

It was the most obvious answer.

...and with terrible mockery that she even made herself sound so sweet. "No, I don't, darling."

He groaned and took the place beside her, propping his legs up on the mattress, he faced her. His dark acorn eyes gazing tenderly, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"What're you doing here, Jian? Shouldn't you be with Fan?"

His face heated and he loosened a breath. "I haven't seen her in days."

She blinked, he sounded emotionless much to her surprise. "Do you not care?"

"Hmmm...?"

"Do you not care that she's gone?"

"Not entirely, no." He said coldly and folded his arm around her tugging her for a hug. "I'm thinking I'm ready to get rid of her."

"Just like you did me?" She answered with splintering frostiness in her voice.

"It's different, Ying Yue."

"What's so different about getting rid of a woman as soon as she's used up."

"Please, don't talk that way about me."

He tugged her closer, but she pushed him back.

Ying  Yue turned facing the other way.

"Can we please talk about something else, other than this? I don't want us to end up in a fight."

A little too late, and she hardly cared to even fight him anymore.

"Lose my servants and guards, Jian. I can't live with servants and guards following me around all the time. It's driving me nuts."

"No!" He said a bit too hasty that she flinched at the firmness of his voice. There was no hesitation, no compromise, it was a decision and it was his alone.

"Why not?"

"It's for your safety, Ying Yue. I can't always be with you and in times I'm not with you. I need people who can protect you." His commanding voice plunge back into heart melting softness.

She breathed, feeling trapped. She knew she's not going to get anywhere with him, no matter how much she tried reasoning.

"Ying Yue." Wang Jian shook her after a while.

"What?" Her voice stale while she stared at the shadow lurking on the corner of the room.