Emika’s Hope

"The scenery at Chunyan River is really beautiful in midsummer. I can recall every single drop of our past. Your passionate touch..."

Emika had changed her body back into its female form. Her finger hovered above Kiyomi's face tracing the arc of his eyebrow, the bridge of his nose then paused on his lips.

Tears flowed increasingly.

The moonlight was peeking through the window. It was just barely enough to see his face, the hazy glow enunciating his sharp facial features.

"Do you remember that evening, under our cherry blossom, when we looked at the hidden moon and the rising sun? The breeze was filled with drifting petals and falling leaves." Her whispers were careful not to awake him. "My heart has withered since time cannot turn itself back. I am waiting for it to bloom again. Could you forgive me and learn to love me again?"

She hesitated, but lifted up the corner of the quilt and lay down next to him. She moved a bit closer, quietly leaning against his chest. His loose jet-black hair brushed past her face and her heart fluttered.

At times his whole body suddenly flinched and quivered, and spasms contorted his face. It seemed like something inside him was trying to escape.

"I am truly sorry," she whispered.

He was wearing a thin gauze-like almost threadbare shirt so her fingers could feel his hard and taut muscles, reminiscent of his tight embrace. Her hand resting on his chest felt the scar. She was overcome by a deep sorrow.

"Back then, I did not know your value in my heart. I wasn't aware of what I really felt. Now I understand the saying, 'when you lose it, you know what is precious to you.'"

She gently pulled away from his body and lay on the edge of the bed.

"Our hearts, our lives... Everything ruthlessly fell apart and shattered into millions of fragments. Even if my life fades, I will gather and sew everything for your life to become whole again."

She was the only one who could break the Mind-Seal. To this end, for forty-nine days she had to recount all the stories of their past which were extracted from his mind. And throughout the night, she whispered in his ear every details of her life starting from the day she met him.

She hesitated—did she wish him to remember? What if once I broke the seal you'd only hate me? What if you refuse to forgive me?

During his sleep, he would clench tight at the clothing at his chest. He seemed in a lot of pain, and her heart ached unbearably. He started to cough violently.

All of a sudden his eyes were wide open and he saw a human paw resting above his face. Because of his strange and disjointed dreams, he could no longer trust his own brain. In the time that he blinked his eyes the human paw had already disappeared.

He thought that he was either dreaming or hallucinating—did Li Ji brew a stronger tea?

And he saw the calico cat still asleep and curled up against his chest. He reached his hand to pet her. And drifted off to sleep...

Her green feline eyes stared back at him. Emika's regrets were deeply torturous and worthless. She couldn't undo what has been done. However, she would not hesitate risking her life to make amends and beg for his forgiveness.

An avalanche of agonising memories tumbled back in her mind. Those memories felt as raw as if all had happened only yesterday…

… Four years ago, she had plunged a dagger into Second Prince Shufeng's chest, with intent on killing him. Almost a year after her attempt, she accidentally discovered a crucial piece of evidence sewn inside the lining of her father's armour, General Yun Hishoku. It was the evidence that Shufeng was so eager to find in order to crush the accusations of high treason and indisputably claim his innocence. Moreover, that same evidence implicated someone else in the murder of her father. Someone she trusted and was fond of—Emperor Taizong of Akishino, her now husband, Shufeng's brother.

Her entire family died and she alone survived. Leaving no one to trust, she was still unable to avenge her family. She was a powerless empress overwhelmed by feelings of desolate sadness.

Also, she could not forgive Shufeng for the death of her brother. What he had done and not done and for what reasons, remained unexplained. But, while her mind was filled with untold confusion, her heart knew her brother's death wasn't a murderous attack. Despite her grief, the Second Prince was the one that she yearned for the most.

He was the only one in her heart that threatened her sanity.

She opened her eyes to mornings she didn't want to see. So she continued sleeping for a very long time, and when she awoke again the sky was dark. For many months she felt too weak to crawl up out of bed or to eat. Taizong scoured the whole empire for the best physicians, offering them treasures if they could heal his wife's heart sickness.

Memories wandered back and forth of her moments shared with Shufeng. Images of him popped up randomly. He was sitting at his desk and painting her portrait for the hundredth times. He was giving her a slight frown for she couldn't keep still nor pose gracefully enough. After a little while, his wide smile answered her plea, "Em, shall we sneak out to see the new shadow play tonight?"

On good days Emika wandered at the Chunyan River. While she walked the quiet moon kept pace beside her. Her only loyal companion. Wherever he was hiding, she wondered if Shufeng also gaze at the same moon she was looking at. Under their tree the cherry petals had fallen leaving behind the memory of spring scent, the souvenir of their times together.

Three years of agonising nights and days followed as gradually all hope and all spark of life were destroyed. She lived in a lonely hell in the palace. She was miserable and frightened—sharing a bed, eating meals, spending time with a murderer, being the wife of a man she now loathed!

For three years she had felt so helpless and full of grief. She didn't know how to accept the situation and her sin. She deadened her broken heart with liquor. But the more she drank, the more vivid her memories were, and deeper the pain became. At the height of her misery, drowned with remorse she had considered taking up a dagger and slashing her own throat.

However, she still had a little someone who would need her…

Then one day, almost one year ago, when rumours spread in the Imperial City that Second Prince Shufeng wasn't dead but had been alive all along, Emika's heart swelled with anew hope, yet regrets and pain. But she would beg for his forgiveness and atone for her sins.

Alas, Emperor Taizong had dispatched many soldiers to capture him. Fortunately they were unable to locate him. That being so, how could she ever hope to find him by herself? And indeed she couldn't.

Crestfallen, her desperation and bitter cries were at long last heard.

Emika was walking back from Chunyan River to the palace with the darkness of the night and loneliness shrouding her, when a silhouette in the shadows caught her eyes. An otherworldly beautiful woman with a warm smile approached her. Her long and black hair swaying in the calm breeze as she sashayed towards Emika. Under the moonlight her eyes glowed with strangeness—they were more translucent than amber.

"I have heard your supplications and your lamentations. Do you still wish to find him?"

Holding her breath, Emika took a few steps back. "Who are you?"

A sudden and violent wind blew over the trees causing the branches to undulate and the leaves to fall. But Emika could not feel it. Her hair nor her clothing moved.

Then the wind lifted up in the sky and obscured the moon by forcefully hauling grey clouds over it.

"Redemption comes at a price. What are you willing to sacrifice?"

"Anything. Everything,'' the empress said with tears.