The torment
Regan stood there dumbfounded and motionless, taking in her every word she said before leaving. Unlike everytime, his heartbeats were slow and the realization of his doing, the realization of the words that slipped through his mouth hit him so hard that it became difficult for him to breathe. He knew what he did but in those moments, it was as if he didn't have any control over his own actions or words. In order to push her away, to protect his own heart, he crushed hers with his own hands. He felt as if he himself clutched his heart and pulled it out of his body.
His every word echoed in his mind along with hers to make him realize the meaning behind each of them.
'You would never understand what is love because to understand it, first you should have it in your life.'
'It's the most beautiful thing to have, hardest to earn and the most hurtful to lose.'
'I thought you would never hurt me.'
He didn't know when he left the place, took his car and returned to his penthouse. He found himself kneeling down in the middle of his room clutching his head to get away from her broken voice that rang in his head repeatedly. Her broken voice that gave away everything which she might have wanted to say in that moment but couldn't. The single tear that slipped through her eye, realizing the reason behind it being him broke something within him making him hate himself.
"I trust you Anna. Just like him as you had said. I trust you with all that I have. I don't know what came up-to me to say you those things Anna. You said that I won't understand what is love. But I know what it is... because of you. You have brought that love in my life through your existence Anna. I know how beautiful it is to love someone.... to love you, I know how hard it is to earn.... cause I have craved and yearned for your love with every breath I take, in every moment I live and I know how hurtful it is to lose it....cause I have lived with that hurt and fear of losing you at any and every moment. And I can feel it more now cause I know that I have lost you...may be forever. Trust me please. I love you Anna. I was not in my senses to say you those things. I broke your trust. The trust that I won't hurt you ever but I did Anna. I hurt you in the worst possible way and it hurts me more than it would have hurt you. I am sorry. I am sorry heart. I am sorry."
He didn't know for how many hours he sat there in the same position until his phone rang. It was constantly buzzing but he didn't find the energy to even check it out. It was still ringing but something inside him urged to look at it this time with a hope that it might be her. He had that constant unsettling feeling in his heart that something was amiss... he couldn't understand what exactly it was but the mere thought of her, elevated his anxiety. He pushed himself to stand on his feet to receive the call this time. As if his heart was correct, his world crashed down in that instant after hearing from the person on the other side and he sprinted through the door.
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Instead of going back to her parents home, Anna stopped the cab midway on a deserted street and took her tired steps out and forced them to move to wash away the sprinting emotions in her heart, the pain that crushed her momentary happiness that her heart felt in his presence. She didn't realize how long she strolled like that with no one around to look for her. Her heart was heavy, thumping wildly in her chest with indescribable pain of losing something precious....once again. Her foot landed on a small rock and she stumbled down to fall on her knees which left them bleeding. Her hands came in contact with the rough surface of the street agreiving her pain. Tears ran down her face like a stream. There was no one to prevent her from falling this time. She was used to this pain but unlike everytime it was more intense because of him. In the past few months, he was always there to hold her firm on her feet not letting her to worry that she would be alone assuring her to hold her everytime. But this time, he was the one who pushed her to fall causing her the immense pain that she was going through. The most important thing that she was disturbed with was her own emotions which she couldn't understand.
"I kept my promise Ashton. You asked me to follow my happiness and that's what I tried to do. I forgot how he ignored me, how he tried to distance me from him. I forgot everything and made the biggest mistake of my life to trust someone else other than you. I don't... I don't understand why I did that. He..... he questioned my character, my dignity, my love for you Ashton. Why did I ever trust him? Why did I ever think that he won't hurt me ever? It seems as if... as if the more I try to hold on to something that makes me happy, it goes away from me. Just like you Ashton. Just like you. Why did you leave me? Why?"
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It was late in the evening when Anna got a call from Regan's office to get some urgent papers signed from her. She was exhausted would be an understatement. The emotional turmoil that she went through drained all her strength. The walk to her home made her condition worse. As soon as she got the call, her heart stopped for a second, anticipating the worst regarding the hotel project that was Ashton's dream. Her eyes welled up with all the negativity that clouded her mind but she refused to be weak this time and stood on her feet with the determination to not let anything or anyone mess with her dream. Her Ashton's dream for which she lived and went through so much. Her gaze moved towards the ring on her finger... his precious gift to her, his promise and his enormous love for her.
"I gave you enough liberty to mess with my emotions Regan. But now it's not about me. It's about my Ashton. I won't allow you or anyone to meddle with anything related to him. His dreams are my source of living and I have promised him that I would live... no matter what. I promise you love... if today, things would turn against, I will not give up. I will fight for you, for us. I promise." She whispered.
She wiped her eyes and left her home to deal with everything that was stored in for her.