125 I won't be able to live without you

"Now let's talk about our deal."

His words baffled Anna and she tilted her head in question.

"What deal? Had we talked about it before for I don't remember talking about any."

A smile graced his lips on her scrunched up nose. He was still exhilarating at the thought of her silently fussing over some girl in his life. She amused him with her behavior, taking it as one more progressive step in their relationship. 'Was she even aware about it?' He questioned himself and gently shook his head while ruffling her hair. He knelt down in front of her taking her by surprise. She was about to stop him and ask some more questions when he placed his finger on her plum lips to stop her. She didn't missed the way his eyes rested over her lips which made him gulp, probably to control whatever thoughts were running in his head. Her features turned pink on noticing his subconscious gesture. He noticed the change in her breathing showing her getting nervous maybe with his actions that he had no more control over with her around him. He retraced his finger which touched her soft lips igniting his desire even more. He remembered what he wanted to talk about, so he gave no indication that he understood her, much more that he wanted to respond but couldn't as he knew better for he won't be able to stop himself from making her completely his. Had he known before that it would be so difficult for him with his overpowering need and desire to possess her with his love, he would have not proposed the idea of this vacation. The thoughts bring a frown on his forehead.

His smile met her sparkling eyes making her heart flutter on being the reason behind it. She wanted to be the reason of his happiness just as he had become hers. She didn't realize till then when she got so attached to him that his every emotion mattered to her so much. Till now, if she needed him for the love and comfort he always provided her, she realized that she no more needed but wanted him with all that was his and he gave her. At that moment, she wanted to say a lot but couldn't find words that could clearly state what she had started feeling for him. Those new emotions and feelings scared her, scared of losing him too, making her heart miss a beat and enunciating a constant ache that gripped her in a fear of not having him around her to feel his love or gentleness that was only meant for her. She was still dazed with his thoughts while her hand unknowingly moved and eased his frown.

While she was still contemplating, Regan was observing her intently. He too noticed her returning his smile with a light one of her own while her eyes showed a different emotion that she had never showed before, at least so openly.

'Is it love?'

The thought crossed his mind taking his heart in frenzy. He wanted to believe what he saw was right, but he didn't want to scare or lose her if it was incorrect in any way. He was ready to wait for her to realize her own feelings for him which was all over the place in that moment. He gently called out her name to draw her attention when he noticed her eyes turning glassy.

"Anna?"

Instead of replying, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Before he could register what happened, she buried her head in the crook of his neck leaving no space between them. Although flabbergasted with the sudden movements, he managed to rise up to match her level and hold her tight welcoming her in his embrace. A few seconds passed without her speaking anything which got him anxious. After a while, she spoke, still nuzzling into his neck causing sparks in his body.

"What if….. What if I'll lose you too?" She said in an inaudible whisper.

Her voice cracked though she didn't want to sound weak. Richard's accident, the elevator incident, the phone call and her panic attack... She hadn't forgotten that completely. However, Regan always made her forget everything in his presence, she was still paranoid and couldn't stop herself to think about the return of her past.

The unexpected question left him shock with her abrupt thoughts. Before he could understand what exactly she meant, she spoke again.

"I.....I feel.....No, I....I want.....You are my.....Regan I...." She couldn't complete a single sentence as tears graced her lashes ready to stream down at any moment.

"Heart." He said softly and made her look into his eyes.

"You are stucked with me forever now. I have held your hand for a lifetime with no intention to leave it. Ever. If a day comes when I have to die for you, trust me I won't. Because I want to live my every moment with you and only you Anna. As I said, you have no idea what you are for me, but I'll spend my each day to show you my heart that is consumed by the love that it has for you."

"But he has come back. What if he hurt you to like he hurt... Ashton" She whispered and broke into sobs. "I.....I don't know what is this and why, but I know one thing that....." She took a moment to breathe and tried to make him know what she exactly felt like still not knowing how to define it clearly. But this time she wanted to speak. She wanted to return him something that was true and pure just like his love. She wanted to let him know how much he mattered to her. Before him, it was always Ashton for her, but he certainly changed everything. She still loved him but she couldn't deny the fact that he had seeped deep into her heart making his place and it had too welcomed him. She wanted him, needed him, like she needed the air to breathe. In whatever circumstances they were tied together, she didn't want to deny or reject this time knowing too well that sooner or later, she had to succumb to her heart which had grown to feel, accept and reciprocate his love. So she accepted truthfully.

"I won't.... I won't be able to live without you."

She gently shook her head not knowing how to explain what she felt at that moment. Minutes earlier, she was happy, then jealous and now just the thought of losing him left her to be a sobbing mess. She bit her lip and met his gaze that held emotions that she never saw in them.

"You mean a lot to me Regan.....Unlike you, I don't know how much.....but enough to kill me without you." She breathed softly and instead of averting her eyes, she peeked into his orbs to let him see the truth and sincerity in her every syllable. She had no clue where she got that courage from, but she wanted to give him what she could and what he deserved.

Regan was dumbfounded on the disclosure. Least did he expect her to accept what she felt for him so early that too just like that. Her words were simple but clear and he couldn't stop the smile that emerged on his face. He couldn't believe to be having her in his life. A person so kind and innocent. It was always her innocence and simplicity that touched his heart but she always proved herself to be beyond his imagination surprising him every time. She had yet not accepted that she loved him but it was enough for him to understand her unspoken words. She said that she couldn't live without him and he lived only for her. He had intended to take it slow, to give her some space. He had decided to ask her to stay just friends with each other during their short trip so as to make her feel comfortable and at the same time to get his head right which was going crazy for her. That was what the deal was all about, but her unexpected revelation completely took him off guard.

He held her hands in his warm grip and peppered them with a couple of kisses.

"What would I do with you? Do you know how your every word affects me Anna? Do you have any idea of what you do to me? The more I try to hold myself..... to stay away from you, the more you make me fall for you. And it surprises me every time how can my heart consume so much love for you. You will never fail to surprise me, will you?" Looking at her puzzled state, he kissed her temple and continued, "About your doubts, first, I am not going anywhere and second, you don't need to fear about anyone or anything. I'll always be by your side.....keeping that scoundrel miles away from you heart. He won't be able to touch or come near you. I promise. You trust me, right?"

"I do."

Smiling he remembered about the reason he brought her there for, "Let's be friends again?"

"I thought we already are."

He sighed and explained not being sure about his own self if he would be able to stick to his own words. "Yes we are, but I can't think straight when you stare me like this."

"What? I.....I am not staring. Why would I?" Saying that, she quickly diverted her gaze and Regan bursted into a fit of laughter seeing her crimson face.

"Well.....I don't mind if my gorgeous wife stare me whole day long. I am all yours to do anything you like Mrs. Knight."

Saying that he winked taking Anna by surprise through his cockiness, turning her a deep shade of crimson. He couldn't help and playfully pinched her nose.

Anna scrunched her nose in annoyance and lightly slapped his hand away. Moments before, she accepted what she felt for him, and here he was taking a jibe on her.

'What was I expecting from him?' She thought.

She knew he was trying to make the air around them light which grew thick with her confession and his desire that was evident in his eyes. She too decided to play along to ease the tension.

"Are you trying to flirt with me?"

She mischievously smirked and stood up while flicking her hair. She went to the door to leave but turned around before turning the knob.

"Use your charms Mr. Knight. I have seen better."

She winked and left while Regan stood there contemplating what just happened with his mouth hung open.

"Anastasia?"

He called her out to stop but she sprinted to their room not believing that she actually did that. Before she could close the bedroom door, Regan pulled her waist and she gasped at his abrupt action while colliding with his hard chest. She met his dark eyes that were already focused on her.

"Let me charm you then Mrs. Knight."

"I was just kidding Regan. I thought we would be acting as friends as you said."

"I have changed my plans. I want you to know more about me.....as your husband and let me uncover the hidden sides of you as well."

"..."

"Get ready in an hour. We are going out to explore this place." He pecked her cheek and left, leaving her to think about what just happened and how the things changed between them within no time.