1 1 Demise

If there will be a second chance I promised that I will never trust ever again.

This is what I promised to myself as I struggled to catch my breath, I can feel that cold slowly envelopes my body due to the loss of blood that I got from my gunshot wound. My hearts beat slowly and my lips feel dry. I tried to move and reach my phone which is placed on the top of a coffee table, two meters away from me. I crawled into it and put all my remaining strength every time I do it.

I ignore the cold sweats that are forming on my forehead. I use my right arms to crawl while my left hand is exerting some pressure on the gunshot wound in my stomach, but despite all my efforts, I can only make small progress. I felt weak. Vulnerable. This is the first time in my life that I feel so helpless. I need to fight for my life because if not there is only one thing that can happen.

Death

It gives me chills as the word came to my mind. Fear writhed me. I am scared. It cant be. It can't end like this. I strived my best to crawl towards the coffee table where my phone sits still. My phone has an emergency call feature. If I could dial in... Help will come... A ray of hope keeps me going. With my left hand continuously putting pressure on my gunshot wound in my stomach. I crawl desperately for my life. However, the lack of air made me stop. I felt like there is a scarcity of oxygen in my body as an effect of vast blood loss.

Hypovolemic shock it's a condition wherein the heart unable to pump blood due to blood loss. It's an emergency because if this is not been treated immediately, it can stop the internal organs from functioning.

Tears drip in my eyes as I know that I can't fight anymore, it's already too late. How can I fight if my organs will now stop working one by one? I halt on what I am doing and tried to turn around. Even this simple thing makes me feel exhausted. I stared at my canopy as I cried silently, but then a small laugh escapes from my lips as I remember something I always heard from my patients. They said that when you are nearing your death your whole life will play like a short movie in your mind.

I never thought that it's true.

I am Elijah Patterson a well-known doctor and respected in his field. Tonight I attended a ceremony wherein the world recognizes me as the best neurosurgeon. I helped a lot of patients and I am active in any medical mission. There is no doubt that a lot of people like me. My mom always told me that a secret to a peaceful life is to love your neighbors.

And that's what I exactly did.

I thought that everyone is sincere, but I am wrong, the image of my big brother Allen cross my mind. We are both neurosurgeons and I always looks up to him that's why I decided to take medicine and choose neurosurgeon as my major. For me, he is the best big brother in the world. I always put behind me any bad opinions of my friends about his brother.

I thought everything is real, his smile, his encouragement, , I never thought that it's all fake, I never thought that he is envious of me.

I remembered Allens final word to me before he pulls the trigger and shot me.

I despise you!, I despise you the moment Mom gave birth to you.! I knew it! You will steal everything from me! It should be me! Why the award goes to you!

Those are the cruelest word I ever heard in my entire life. What a nightmare, the reason for my death is just because of simple recognition and award. I can just give it to you, but why end my life?

After that, an image of loving parents etched in my mind. Mom. Dad. I missed you. I loved you. I'm sorry I did not go back last year for your birthday. I gasped for air and felt that my heart already stop beating, and before my eyes closed, the last teardrop escaped my eyes.

Oh God, please help me.