Chapter 20

I woke in my bed once more, I looked at the clock, it was already 1pm. I tried to get out of bed but I fell to the floor when I tried to stand. Then the door was opened and Lillian came into the room.

"Reinhardt!"

She quickly rushed to my side and propped me up, she sat me down on the bed and looked me with a gentle face.

"Take it easy, I heard from some of the knights you fought someone who was at Mana Class 6 yesterday. Seriously, I know that dad wants you to grow up quickly, but isn't this a bit too early for my lovely little brother."

She ruffled my hair gently as she sat beside me she wrapped me in her arms and hugged me. For whatever reason, when Lillian hugged me my heart rate decreased and I 'felt' something akin to comfort.

"Isn't your birthday close by? Is there anything you want your big sister to get you?"

'My birthday huh? I guess I'm turning 8 soon. Wait I'm turning 8? If Angelica is a few months older than me, and Lillian is 9 and if Charlotte is also 9. Then aren't I the youngest out of all of us? That's pretty interesting I suppose, yeah never mind, it's really not.

"You don't need to get me anything."

I was speaking honestly, I had never gotten gifts of any sort so I wasn't too fussed about them.

Lillian pouted and pulled me in for another hug, I didn't know why she was being so caring today, I hadn't implemented any brainwashing techniques on her yet. But she was still being so kind? If I had someone like her in my last life then I think I'd have been a much better person, but it's too late.

Her 'genuine' feelings won't be enough to stop me from turning her into a pawn. The same goes for anyone who I deem useful. I will use and discard anyone I want.

"If you don't want anything in particular then your big sister will just surprise you. Why don't we go have some food, I'll walk you down the stairs."

I wasn't given a choice to disagree as she just dragged me downstairs, she placed my arm on her neck and just went for it. I could have used Mana to make my life easier and walk downstairs, but this was fine.

I was still in my night wear, not a single servant asked why. They had heard from colleagues and Knights what had happened last night. My face was darker than usual, I normally maintained a fairly typical 'happy go lucky' type expression.

It was to show subtle signs that those rumours weren't rumours, but truths. This would shake people's beliefs and impressions of the 'lazy young master and tyrant, Reinhardt' and soon they'd either fear me or respect me. I will not have a repeat of my past life, I will not be treated like a mere tool. Because no matter how many people I've slain, and regardless of the order's I've followed, I'm still human.

Right?

But then again, what is a human? Is being human a thing about birth? Or is it about your heart and your morality? I wonder, if after everything I've done, am I truly a human?

Or am I simply someone or something that claims to be a human?

I sighed inwardly, even if I wasn't human, even if people hated me. I would always move forward, for the sake of being able to live my life happily. For that goal, I will do whatever it takes, maybe reaffirming my humanity would be the first step to that goal.

Today we were being served roast chicken, it wasn't too fancy for a noble. But everyone in the family preferred more simple things.

'Why don't I use this as an opportunity to get closer with Lillian?'

My plan was simple, I just had to make her feel wanted or needed. Although the end goal is to make her need me emotionally. I'm essentially trying to make her emotionally dependent on me.

Since she doesn't meet many children or have chances to make friends, I'm currently the only one close to her age who she can have fun with and talk to. I'm going to make my way into her heart, right now she's fond of me as her younger brother but that's it. If I were to explain in RPG terms, I wanted to upgrade my class from 'Younger Brother' to 'Younger brother who will absolutely never, ever be replaced under any circumstances and no one will be ever be as good as him.'

So, I basically wanted to turn her into a brocon. But that's if I wanted to dumb it down a lot, but those are my future plans. Now for now I'll just lead her on from time to time.

I grabbed my fork and knife, however my hand was suffering from tremors. They were fake, but with all the times my muscles have been torn and used I can control them perfectly. You wouldn't be able to tell whether or not I was I faking these tremors. I kept dropping my fork and knife, on the third attempt a maid moved to help but a voice from a certain someone cut her off.

"Can someone move me next to Reinhardt? I'll feed him."

Lucas and Irene smiled softly while some of the maids started whispering, a butler moved Lillian next to me. She started cutting the roast chicken into clean slices that were just the right size. No seriously, they were the perfect size, so perfect that you'd think she had memorised how far my mouth could stretch before it being uncomfortable.

She fed me a slice of chicken slowly, she placed her hand just below my chin. Occasionally a drop of dribble fell down my chin and onto my hand, when that happened she dried her hand with a napkin and moved on as if nothing had happened. After I had eaten my final bite, she pat my head gently and praised me.

"You're such a good boy! Who thought it was a good idea to make a boy so cute and pretty? I just want to have you all to myself!"

She softly tugged on my cheeks and giggled and had a childlike smile on her face.

"Wev go obf my chweeks-"

"Nu uh, today we're to go out and play okay? If you don't agree, then I'll hold on to your soft little cheeks forever."

"Uh okay"

And with that she let go of my cheeks and smiled, she was only 9 yet she had this aura or elegance. But that seemed to melt away when she was with me.

I should have felt something, but like each and every other moment of my 'life' I felt nothing...