Secret for a Secret

To think she loves me. Hearing those words come from the lips of an angel, puts me in seventh heaven. I will love her in ways that she has never been loved before. For more reasons, she has ever been told. For longer as she will ever remember. For more than she can possibly deserve. I will show her more love than she ever thought existed in me.

But now she has a secret. Coming from a man with secrets, secrets are sometimes better left untold. But is this something I would like to hear?

"Boo, what is going on?"

"Soldier, I know how much the Marines mean to you. And I know how much you really want to redeploy."

"And I am not going to redeploy if I can't have you. If you have to ask me tomorrow, then I would say the same."

"But you giving up on your dream, and I don't want you to be giving anything up for me."

"Boo you don't understand. I love you. The Marines are not going to love me; you are going to love me. I don't care what I need to give up to be with you."

"What if you don't have to?"

"God, boo, don't tell me you are breaking things off with us again?"

"Hahaha. No soldier, now that will just be cruel."

"Then what do you mean? The only way I leave here to redeploy is without you, and I don't want to do it."

"Please be honest with me. Are you going to feel sad if you do not go?"

"I am not going to lie, but it is going to hurt."

She is moving around uncomfortably in her seat. Whatever she needs to tell me is obviously making her feel on edge. What can be so bad that it seems like she can almost burst out crying?

"Boo, this is really serious for you?"

"Soldier, it is just, I never thought that I would have to make this decision again."

"What decision, I don't understand?"

"Well you know that Mark was also in the Marines?"

"Uhm...yes, I do."

Of course, I do, a whole lot better than she can imagine. The day I finally tell her, she will definitely kick me out. The thing is, how do you even begin to tell someone something like that. I would break her heart all over again when I finally tell her the truth one day.

"What I never told you..."

"Yes?"

"I never told you how I met Mark."

"Boo what does that have to do with me?"

"Just listen, please hear me out."

I shift a little closer to her and take her hands in mine. It breaks me to see that she is going through this. It is like she is having an inner battle with herself. I have never seen this look of fear on her face before. What can be so bad that it is causing her to react this way?

"Take your time; tell me whenever you are ready."

"As I said, I never thought that I had to make this decision again."

"What decision? Tell me how you met Mark?"

"This is the funny thing. I met him at base."

"What do you mean by base? Is there a place called base because the only base I know is base camp, and there is no way they will allow civilians in there?"

"I mean base camp."

"How? How did you get in there?"

"I was working there."

"You are confusing me, boo. What work did you do there? We make it a point to know which women work on base. You know, to protect our fellow soldiers."

"I was not a soldier; I worked as a nurse."

"What?! You were part of the aid station. But I did not see...I...I mean, why don't I know it?"

"I met Mark one day during a routine check-up. You can say we just hit it off. Things heated up between...Sorry, I don't mean to talk about him like this."

"It is fine, boo. So you were part of the nursing staff, and that is how you met Mark on base?"

"Yes. Like I said, things got very serious, very quickly. Then..."

Her hand is slightly trembling, and I can see tears well up in her eyes. She swallows deep as she inhales before she speaks again.

"I...I fell pregnant."

I am shocked, but I am also confused. How? Should she not? That is when it hits me.

"Oh, boo, I am so sorry. Please come here."

I pull her closer and lay her head against my chest. I can feel how her body is shaking. She is crying freely now. Her sobs are the most painful sound to my ears. I cannot bear seeing her hurt like this, but there is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do to take it away. All I can do is hold her until she gets through this.

After another ten minutes, when her heart has gone still, and her tears have dried out, she continues speaking.

"So we found out that I was pregnant. I did not want to go, but he begged me to. He told me that he does not want me and my child to be put at risk."

"So, you decided to leave?"

"Yes very much against my will."

"And he stayed?"

"Yes and everything went fine. He came home as often as he could. But then, at twelve weeks, I lost the baby. He stopped coming around; all I got was the occasional phone call. Our marriage was practically dead."

"I am so sorry, boo."

"I wanted to go back so I can be with him, but he kept saying no. So I went behind his back and got myself assigned. But a week before I was supposed to go, they phoned me."

"They phoned you to tell you about the accident?"

"Yes. That was just the last thing that made my world fall apart. And that is how I landed up here in this town; I ran away from everything to make a new start."

"Then you come here and meet another soldier. And it just scratches up open wounds."

"Soldier don't ever think of you that way. You are a blessing in my life. You have shown me the determination to be the best I can be, and I am the best when I am with you?"

But boo, what I don't understand is you said you did not think you would ever have to make this decision again. What decision are you talking about?

"Well, I kind of went and did something silly. Before Katarinagot here, I had an appointment with the doctor in town."

"Doctor?"

"Yes, I went for a check-up."

"A check-up for what?"

I think I am going to faint…

"Well, I phoned up that guy that was here, Harrison."

"Harrison, my platoon leader? What does my platoon leader and a doctor got to do with this?"

"Oh, soldier, please don't be mad at me."

"Tell me what you did, boo, and I will tell me if I am mad at you? Is there something wrong with you that you had to go to the doctor?"

"No not at all; he said I am in perfect health."

"Okay, you are killing me here; what is the problem then?"

"I am going with you."

I think I just fainted in my head…

"Coming were with me?"

"My god, do I need to spell it out for you?"

"Yes, please, cause the little hamster in my head just fell thefück off his little wheel."

"Hahaha, that is goddamn funny."

"It is not funny keeping a man hanging here."

"Soldier when you go to redeploy, I am coming with you. Harrison signed me up as part of the nursing staff."

"Holy fuck! What?!"

"I am coming with you."

"I think you need to say that again."

"Hahaha, I said I am coming with you."

"Boo, why?"

"Because I love you, soldier, and I want to be with you. I don't want you to give up your dreams after everything you have been through."

"Fuck I don't know what to say. I love you, Isabella. I am so damn lucky to have you. I swear I am never letting you go."

And now it is my time to start crying…

This is not what I thought would happen when she said she had a secret. But I'm certainly not going to object.

My arms lock around her neck, and I pull her a little closer. Our lips meet, and I savor the taste of them for just a moment. Our lips begin to move in perfect sync, slowly and cautiously. I exhale through my nose, not wanting to let go. My entire body is taken over by the overwhelming feeling of relief and love. My fingers are tangling in her long, dark chocolate hair, lightly pulling her into me, adding more pressure to our lips, and deepening the kiss.

Finally, we pull away, and I rest my head on her forehead.

"Boo, there is something I need to tell you."