Seventy-nine: Lily of the Conepine Tribe

<p>"Come on, Jean, another step," Kiran encouraged me. He'd made me a pair of crutches and was determined to help me get walking again. I didn't see anyone, but him and the daily check of his corpsman if he was out. I don't even know the man's name. "Just another step."<br/><br/>"Dizzy," I complained. I still got vertiginous and tired very easily, although it had been nearly a month since the fall. I think. Keeping track of time was extremely difficult. Everyday was much the same for me. "Tired."<br/><br/>"Come on, Jean," he told me. "Just a few more steps and you'll have made it out of the room. I'm here to catch you. Don't you worry."<br/><br/>Maybe it had been more than a month.<br/><br/>I took another shaky step, trying to time each step with a crutch, so that it could take some weight off my sore legs. Another step, and my legs crumpled. Kiran caught me and helped me sink slowly to the ground, where I abandoned the crutches. <br/><br/>Who would have thought that learning to walk again would be so difficult?<br/><br/>"Good job," Kiran held me close and stroked my head and back, rocking me while I cried. I'd truly turned into a crybaby. I cried at and for everything these days. "Good work, Jean. You did fine. You did just fine. Have a rest. Take your time."<br/><br/>I don't know where he found the patience to deal with my fractious tempers. I didn't really care much about anything anymore. Not even about walking or living. Maybe Kiran knew that. Maybe he saw that I was falling apart inside and knew that I just needed some sense of security to keep me going.<br/><br/>I didn't know how the war was going or who was winning. What did it matter? Why should I care? They should have just let me die.<br/><br/>It was hard to remember anything from before anymore. Even home was a distant dream. <br/><br/>Kiran put me back to bed and I heard his tired footsteps go to and fro across the room while he muttered to himself. It was hard on him too, having to care for me and plan the next move of the war. Having to plan in case of enemies within and without the camp and balance the power plays of his rivals. Where did he find the energy to keep going?<br/><br/>There was a knock on the door.<br/><br/>"Kiran, your father wants to see you."<br/><br/>That. That should be important information. Why was it important? I had to dredge my memories and think, but my mind had turned sticky. Memories stuck together and didn't want to come to me.<br/><br/>Kiran hadn't been out long, before the door opened and the quick steps of someone I didn't know came in. Lighter footsteps. Determined and angry footsteps.<br/><br/>A pretty woman paused in the doorway and then rushed over to me, screaming abuse. She dragged me out of the bed that I shared with Kiran and I fell heavily to the floor. My head spun and she kicked and spat at me. I just curled up and tried to ride the pain.<br/><br/>"He's mine," she hissed, spitting like an angry cat. "He's betrothed to me. Kiran is mine and how dare you try to steal him from me? You've just been acting to try and keep him with you, haven't you?" <br/><br/>She called me all sorts of unpleasant names of various types, mostly revolving around 'whore' and its various synonyms.<br/><br/>Eventually her kicks weakened and her voice more short, until I heard her sit heavily in a chair, panting. When I peeked up at her, she just glared at me.<br/><br/>The memory had unstuck itself by now. Kiran had told me a little about her once.<br/><br/>"You're Aylissa, the Lily of the Conepine Tribe. Kiran told me about you. Said you were one of the most beautiful women in all of Boskyland."<br/><br/>"Of course, I am," she spat. "That's why we're betrothed. We're a matched pair. Heaven matched. We were practically born for each other. He's mine, you hear?"<br/><br/>"And you are welcome to him," I uncurled myself a little. "You may not believe me, but I don't really have much interest in him. I'm thankful to him and I need him or I'd be dead, but we really have never had sex. He treats me more like an incapacitated sister more than anything else at the moment. He's saved my life more times I can think of and the safest place for me so far has been to just let him keep me close by his side."<br/><br/>"You liar. You're just trying to wriggle your way out of things."<br/><br/>"Look, Aylissa. I'm sick and tired of this war and being targeted by both sides, solely because Kiran has been trying to keep me safe. It barely makes sense to me. I've been imprisoned, starved and beaten. I've been threatened, drugged and had a roof fall on me. Ask Kiran if you want. Ask the doctor or Whistlor or whoever you want. I just want to go where I'll be safe. If I never see any of your faces again, I don't much care. Actually, if you choose to kill me, please, go right ahead," I struggled up into sitting and spread my arms wide. "Look at me. Do I look like someone who can seduce one of the chiefs in waiting of the Boskies? Am I pretty? Do I have boobs or any assets?" <br/><br/>Saying that hurt a little. I don't know why. It just did. Every girl wants to look pretty. To think her man finds her beautiful when he looks at her. I was none of those things. I still didn't see what Kiran saw in me.<br/></p>