One hundred and twenty: Tired

"Jean, what are you doing?" laughed Alistair when he came into my room in the rehab ward to find me head down, bottom up, one leg under me, one leg entangled in my sheets. He pressed a call bell for the nurse while he untangled me. He sat me upright. "Needing to go toilet in a hurry?"

At my emphatic nodding, he laughed again and left the room to find a nurse who was probably busy elsewhere.

When I got back, he had set up a laptop to allow me my weekly video call to my parents. Sometimes Henry joined in too. This week was just my parents and I. As usual, we sobbed and could barely speak to each other the entire time.

It ended as usual, with dad telling Alistair to take care of me for them. I'd already told my parents some of the many things Alistair had done for me and with Alistair there to add in his two cents worth, we had made a comedic duo. My parents had laughed and cried, but in the end had greatly warmed up to Alistair. I was only one of Alistair's many responsibilities, but no matter how busy, he always made time for me. I appreciated it. His care. He kept the media away and was making arrangements for where I would stay for the rest of my shortened life. I doubted I'd live very long with all these chronic illnesses I'd gained, but Alistair hated it when I talked like that.

After the video call, Alistair settled into his usual chair and brought out the recorder. We had a certain understanding by this time and so when I saw the recorder, I knew that what we were about to discuss was very important.

"Kiran's getting restless," Alistair began. "We've news of things moving around in the mountains. Our analysts are saying that he's obviously planning something, but they haven't been able to get a peep into their networks. Not since you happened and upgraded them. You sent a worldwide fad through the computer systems and programming communities, you know. Something I don't understand, but something to do with an integrated programming language."

"Oh," I smiled at that. "Oops."

"I know that we both know that Kiran's gotten word that you're getting better and almost ready to leave the hospital."

"Yes," I agreed. "He'll be wanting to get me back."

"What I need to know," Alistair leaned forward to brush a strand of hair out of my face, "what I really need to know for sure is where you stand in all this. Are you planning to get together with him again?"

"Do you really need to ask me that?" I asked with a small quirk of the lips. "Don't you already know the answer?"

"For the record," Alistair gestured to the recorder. "Our people need assurance. They can't read your mind and they don't know you as well as I do."

I sighed, looking out the window.

"Should I start from the very start? So they understand?"

"It wouldn't hurt," Alistair said with a nod, pulling out his notepad and pen. "You may as well tell us everything again from the start. Don't leave anything out, because they want to hear everything from your side of the story."

"That's going to take a long time," I said. "What happens if I can't remember? There are a lot of fuzzy spots in my memory."

"Then say so," Alistair assured me. "You still haven't told me the entire story either, so I'm interested to know what else has happened and what I missed."

I talked. A long time. We stopped for dinner and then resumed after dinner. When I grew sleepy, we stopped for the night and started again the next day after I had woken up, between my therapy sessions. Alistair often had to stop me to draw out more details and to clarify things. Just getting the story out was therapeutic on its own. My Psychiatrist stopped by a few times with my Psychologist. They sat and listened for a while, but Alistair assured them that they would receive a transcript of my story to go through. Other government agents came, including one suited up important guy, who asked Alistair if he wanted anyone to spell him, so that he could take a break. Alistair refused. He knew me well enough that if anyone else took over, I'd clam up. Alistair was trustworthy. I could trust him to have my best interests in mind.

Someone came and asked me about the time I broke the internet, while Alistair sat there, looking tired and grey. I told them the whole real story and how my old computer had evidence on it. I don't know what had happened to that computer after the war began. They asked a lot of questions. A lot of a lot, until both Alistair and I one day looked at each other with a nod and high fived. Right in the middle of another agent's question.

"What? What?" the other agent asked. "What just happened? What did I miss?"

"We've been going at this for a whole two weeks," Alistair rubbed his face tiredly. "We're exhausted and need a break."

"But we've finally got her talking," the other agent pointed out.

"I know," Alistair said, "but anymore and I'm going to collapse or something and she'll probably shut down too."

"Fine. Fine," the other agent said. "I'll come back another day."

"What was his name?" I asked when the door shut behind him.

"You don't remember?" Alistair asked with a wince that could mean he had a headache or that my question had worried him somewhat.

"Am I supposed to remember?"

"You normally remember just about everything with good detail," Alistair said.

"Do I?" I rubbed my forehead. Perhaps I had a headache too. "Not really. I don't have photographic memory."

"Maybe not," Alistair agreed.

"Give me a week or so," I said. "Please. I'm tired. You must be tired too. You look ready to drop."

"I agree," Alistair nodded. "Your new place is nearly ready and the hospital said they're likely to discharge you sometime early next week. I'll pick you up then."

"Alistair," I said. "You know Kiran is probably going to make his move while we're moving me to the new place."

"Yes," Alistair said, rubbing his tired face again. "I know. We're working on it. The media have gotten wind of it too."

"We should coordinate with the hospital staff," I said.

"On it already," Alistair gave me a thumbs up. "You don't have to worry about a thing."

"All right," I smiled and gave him a hug. "Go home and get some rest this week. You don't need to check on me everyday, you know."

"I know," Alistair said, "but I feel better when I can see you and you haven't disappeared."