One hundred and twenty-three: Showing up the professionals (1)

A team of seven agents in normal plainclothes walked into the room, all with mixed expressions on their faces.

"Now," Alistair told me. "Why don't you tell my people who thought they were the best of the best at this where they went wrong and how you spotted them?"

"How did you know I spotted them?" I asked, swallowing a mouthful of pudding and taking another sip of milk.

"How else did you avoid them?"

I grinned and laughed, showing off my chocolatey teeth. Alistair laughed with me, looking at his people very pointedly.

"That was so much fun," I told Alistair, feeling my eyes crinkle up. "Can we do it again, some time. Pleeeeeeease?"

"No," Alistair shook his head with regret. "I wish we could, but you should probably put on your alarm bracelet properly now."

"Ohhhhh," I scowled and pulled out the bracelet for him to help me put it on. The other agents had taken seats around the table or were leaning against the kitchen bench.

"Jean," Alistair smiled at me, "don't provoke my team too much. Some of them are your security detail and can play some very nasty tricks."

"Not if I don't play them first," I grinned and laughed at some of their expressions. Then I sobered up, the high of my successful escape from the hospital starting to settle into the much more familiar feeling of fatigue. The sort that would conk me out if I took too long getting to bed. "All right. All right." I pointed at the lady closest to me. "You were a hospital worker - one of those service staff that I was following initially. Only you took the lift. I took the stairs. By the time you noticed I wasn't there behind you, it was too late. The lift doors had already shut."

"How did you make me?"

"The way you walked was too stiff," I stood up and imitated the gait she had used. "You were paying too much attention to me and so you had this sort of sideways way of walking."

"I didn't even look at you."

"Your reflection was," I said. "It was a bit too obvious. Also the way you cocked your head to listen in my direction. Your hearing in one ear isn't as good as the other, is it?"

"I'm Svetta," she nodded with a scowl. "Nice to meet you, Jean the Roach."

I lifted my eyebrows at Alistair who looked away to smother a laugh. With a shrug, I looked to the next person.

"Mr Radiohead was at the train station bopping away to the music in his headphones. Didn't look at me once. Got his pocket picked. The pickpocket only left him five cents. I noticed the shape of his weapon when he was bored of waiting and stretched. Granted it was hidden by his bag, but it was still visible to anyone who knows how to see."

The man hurriedly pulled out his wallet and searched it, only to find the five cents I had mentioned.

"Oh man. Whaaaat? That money was meant to buy the newest LOC extension pack."

Rummaging in my bag, I returned the man his money.

"You don't have enough for the newest LOC extension pack," I pointed out. "You're lacking forty-five. I saw the prices when I was passing a game shop."

"Maaaan," the man scratched at his shiny chin, taking back his money with great reluctance. He looked at me with a serious gaze and stuck out a hand, which I shook. "Braham," he said. Then he scowled at Alistair. "When you said you'd give us a test, I didn't think it'd be this harsh."

"By the way," I told Braham, "you were bopping out of beat with that holding music you were listening to. Did your girlfriend agree to go on a date with you after all that waiting?"

The rest of the team burst out laughing and Braham coughed, turning to one side.

"Little lady," he coughed again. "That's enough."

"All right," I sipped my milk, looking longingly at the rest of the pudding in my bowl. I didn't think I could eat anymore of it.

"One more spoon," came Alistair's voice from behind me, making me jump a little, and making all the agents chuckle. "Gracey won't be pleased to hear that you couldn't even finish one serving of her best pudding."

"In a moment," I begged. "Please? Let the rest of it settle in my tummy first. I'm really full."

"Very well then," said Alistair, pointing at the next agent. "Her next."

I frowned at the woman who was older than all the other agents in the room. She looked more to be about Alistair's age. Then I saw the way she stood in relation to Alistair and it clicked.

"Hi Gracey," I smiled up at her with warmth for the love I could feel she had in her pudding. "Thanks for the pudding. It's the best I've ever had. I'm sorry I'm too full to finish it all."

She glared at Alistair who shook his head and shrugged.

"I told you she's smart," he said. "Gracey trains agents these days and she didn't believe me when I told her that you might be able to outsmart some of our best trainees and even some professionals so far. So why don't you tell her where and when you saw her? I told you, Gracey, that you were getting out of practice."

"All right," Gracey leaned forward on the table to look at me. I could see deep lines, growing wrinkles and old scars on her face. "Tell me."

Wrinkling my forehead at her tone, I told her.

"At the hospital, you were a nurse in the next ward. You were in handover when I left. I'm pretty sure you noticed me leaving. Outside the hospital, you turned left outside the gate, while I turned right."

"You didn't turn right," Gracey interrupted me, with a smile growing on her lips. "You crossed the road and went straight."

"And then turned right at the next street and doubled back through another street to shake you off. Which I didn't until I had gone through three shops, up an apartment block and returned to the hospital, where I went left from the gate, circled around through the park and ended up on the right hand side of the hospital. I should have left you lost inside that cafe that was under an apartment block."

Gracey cocked her head at me thinking and then let loose a laugh, slapping Alistair on the arm as she did.

"She's great. Why did we never recruit her before the war began? How did no one notice her?"

"I think that was the whole point, Gracey. She didn't want anyone to notice her."

"Is that true, Jean?" she asked me with a sharp glint in her eye.

"Yes," I looked down and sipped my milk again. "Sort of. I didn't want anyone finding out that I had accidentally crashed the internet a few years ago."

"Hmm, well, yes, that would certainly have been a bit of a roadblock to recruiting you," Gracey nodded. "Where did you learn most of this stuff from?"

"I don't know," I looked up at the white plaster ceiling with curly architraves. "I picked it up. I mostly only thought about this stuff and practised at it for fun before the war in case someone discovered who had broken the internet that year. It was one of those private hobbies people would frown at if they knew about it. It also kept me from getting bored at work and hacking into something for the fun of it."

The agents gave nervous laughs at that.

"I got lots of practice and practical experience during the war, what with your people watching me, other government agents trying to kill or kidnap me, Bosky spies trying to kill, kidnap or keep an eye on me… I suppose I got a lot better as time went on. Then there's the time I lived as a homeless street cockroach."

"So how did you know I was an agent?" Grace asked.

"I didn't until you kept following me," I said.

"I was more than ten metres away at any time," Gracey said.

"I know. Once I worked out you were one of Alistair's people," I said, "I took you for a run. Wasn't it fun?"

"How did you know I was one of Alistair's people?" she asked.

"Who else would follow me about for no reason? The Boskies would be trying to work on an intercept vector, as would those other people that want me. Only Alistair's people would stay on a relatively parallel course with me the entire time."

"How did you know I wasn't from some other agency or something?"

"They wouldn't have Alistair's mannerisms."

"Sorry, babe," Alistair patted Gracey's shoulder, "but it sounds like you've got a tell."

"Damn it," Gracey said with a grimace, but leant over to give me a hug with a happy smile. "Pleasure to meet you, sweetie."