One hundred and eighteen: Eye rolling

Making a small hand gesture at him with a questioning face, Mr Cooper beamed.

"How have I been?" he puffed up and recounted how after the Boskies had released him at the initial acceptance of the Bosky Ultimatum, he had needed to work his way back into his bosses' good graces again. His contributions and the fact that he captured some rather high ranking spies, spoiling several major Bosky plans had brought him more than one promotion. "Now I oversee the entire city."

Nodding my congratulations at him, I looked to the door that was still closed. Alistair was taking a long time.

"Actually," Mr Cooper shifted on his seat. "Liza and I," he gestured at his junior partner, "should thank you. Your records have solved some mysteries and provided enough evidence for some criminals to be brought to justice. We might not be able to use all that evidence, seeing as most of it was obtained illegally, but at least it's pointed us in the right direction."

At this, I nodded once more with a slight smile. Good. If being caught allowed more justice to take place, then being caught was worth it. With that thought, I began to feel extremely comfortable and sleepy.

"I just don't understand," Mr Cooper continued, "why you only settled for small fry when you obviously have the capability to do so much more. From the looks of things, you had connections and could easily get in and out of even our most secure networks, but you did nothing. Our people only realised once we got a hold of your drives and saw that you'd been making records of major events, but then deleted them. Why?"

I just shook my head.

"You're not going to tell me? From the looks of things, you could easily have influenced the direction of the war either way, but you didn't. In fact, you only sent us an anonymous tip off that helped us in a minor skirmish. You sent nothing to the Boskies that we could find. Why is that? I thought you'd turned and joined the Boskies?"

Rolling my eyes was fast becoming a habit. Mr Cooper huffed a sigh.

"Jean, I'm getting nowhere here. I need your help with this to obtain answers. You can't still be holding onto that old grudge from the beginning of the war."

Raising an eyebrow, I wondered if he even realised what he had done wrong.

"I don't even know what I did for you to hate me, but be willing to talk to Alistair. Alistair's a dinosaur. I was always better than him. I was the nice one. Everybody likes me better than him. Except for you. You and the bosses. What did I do wrong?"

Both my eyebrows went up and I stared at him and him at me, while the golden retriever girl - what had he called her? Liza. Liza fidgeted, looking between the two of us.

Into the silence, the door opened and Alistair walked in with a nurse who took my blood pressure and heart rate. She also put a thing on my finger. Frowning at all the numbers, she lifted the end of my bed so that I was sort of sitting up, making it a little easier to breathe and my fuzzy mind grew a little clearer.

"Do you have any pain?" she asked and I nodded. Everything still hurt, but not that much. "On a scale of zero to ten, with zero being no pain and ten being the worse imaginable, where would you rate your pain?"

I held up four fingers.

"Four. Would you like some painkillers?"

Shaking my head, the nurse held up a blue thing on a wire with a bright green button and the picture of a nurse on it.

"This is your call bell. Press it if you need us or when you need to go to the toilet or something. I'll be back a bit later to check on you again. In the meantime," she pushed a rolling table that slipped over the bed above my lap and poured me a cup of water, "you need to drink more water. Your blood pressure is too low. Outside of a few fractures, you're very malnourished and quite unwell. If you get tired and need to rest, feel free to call me to send your visitors away."

After she had muttered a few quiet instructions to all the agents that I couldn't hear, she left the room. Alistair came close and helped my trembling hands bring the heavy cup to my mouth a few times so that I could take a few sips. His eyes were both bright and very watery. He looked ready to let loose a few tears.

It was funny how weak I felt and how heavy the cup seemed. Just the other day, I had been fine. The beating and fractures may have been more than my body could bear.

"Jean," he said in a warm voice, opening his arms. Only when I opened my arms did his small smile widen and he gave me a hug. "I'm so glad you're alive," he breathed. Drops of water fell on my shoulder. "We all thought you had died when the Compound was taken back. Kiran went half mad, but we couldn't find your body."

I raised my eyebrows at that, because I had been in the Compound until it was demolished.

"Of course, the people who were sent might have missed you, but they wouldn't let Kiran or me go personally to search. Oh, my dear, it's so good to see you again." Alistair held me at arm's length and scrutinised my skinny arms and what I guessed must be a sallow face. "Even if you do look awful," he shook his head. "If you're tired from dealing with Bevan, feel free to close your eyes and go to sleep. One of us will still be here when you wake up. I found your parents, by the way. They're on their way, but they won't arrive until late tomorrow."

I brightened and sat up straighter at the mention of my parents, but then groaned at the sudden pains that lanced through me with that movement. I fell back to the bed, sweating and wondering why all the pains this time hurt so much more than when the roof had fallen and crushed my pelvis.

I heard a flurry of noise and a nurse came bustling in. Small tablets were pushed past my gritted teeth with a little coaxing, followed by a little water to help me swallow it down. By the time everything had settled, only the golden retriever had been left sitting by my bed. The moment she saw I was awake, after a few cursory questions to make sure I was comfortable, she began gushing about how great it was to see her idol. Her idol turned out to be Alistair. From what she told me, Alistair and Mr Cooper had once been one of the top crack teams the government had during the war. Their involvement with me had helped them reach great heights. While the two had had a falling out after Alistair's capture with me, he had returned to do a great many things to prove his loyalty. Liza talked on and on and on until dinner arrived, whereupon she fell silent because Alistair had arrived to help me cut up and feed me my dinner.

"You should eat more," his brows furrowed and the lines in his face deepened when he saw how little I had eaten before I had begun shaking my head at him. "Come, Jean. Just one more. One more mouthful."

Mr Cooper and Liza watched from a distance. Liza watched with starry eyes. Mr Cooper watched with a deep frown, thinking deep thoughts.

"Then drink more water," Alistair offered.

The nurse had come in to check my 'obs' as she called it and had been very dissatisfied. Her already worried look had deepened. Alistair had obviously been instructed to fill me up as much as possible with both food and drink.

I tried. I really tried, but then I threw up everything I had taken in. The throwing up hurt so much. So much.

It was dark when I next woke again and I hadn't the energy to reach for the packet of sandwiches sitting on the table, just out of reach on the side of my bed. The nurse had come in again, for her scheduled check and was this time alarmed at what she found. I could only watch through heavy, partially open eyes. I couldn't open them any more. I was so tired. So tired.

I heard the voices and bustling about me for the rest of the night. The pinching of a needle in my elbow, because they couldn't find the vein on the back of my hand to hook me back up to another IV bag. Doctors and nurses swirled about me in a dance and their murmuring voices merged with the dry voice of Alistair.

Two hands held mine between them.

"Jean," said Alistair's voice, "hang in there. Hang in there. Your parents are still on their way. Your brother too. Kiran's received special permission. He's on the way too. Everyone who loves you is coming. Hang in there."

There was a warmth from his hands. I appreciated that warmth. I held onto it. Even in my sleep, I held onto it and didn't let it go. It was so nice. So comforting to know that people loved me. People cared about me. I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone.

"Where is she?" I heard my father's voice.

"Where's my baby?" demanded my mother's voice, wobbling and already on the verge of breaking.

They came in and I smelt them. While I struggled to open my eyes, I could still smile when they hugged me. I didn't know how many years it had been since I had last seen them. Then Henry came in and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"Mum. Dad. Henry," I heard my faint voice whisper hoarsely. Mum dabbed constantly at my cheeks with a tissue to try and control the flood of tears. "I've missed you so much."

There was no reaction. Likely they hadn't heard me. I tried again and this time, Alistair who was standing by the door about to leave, stiffened and looked back at me. He was wiping his cheeks as well, while smiling a huge smile at the sound of my voice. The voices of my family clamoured about me and I sank peacefully into the embrace of their love. I didn't have to struggle anymore. I didn't have to keep searching. They were here.

They were here and it was enough.

Mum screamed when I slumped back. I could only feel and hear a stillness. The rest of me was numb and tired. So tired. It didn't feel bad exactly. It was more of a relief.

A hustle and bustle and the distant sound of my family crying. Electricity jolted through my tired body. Once. Twice. Thrice. On the fourth time, that stillness was interrupted by the beating of my heart. I hadn't realised that was what had been missing. Now I knew. My heart had stopped beating.