Ninety-five: Wrong way

Dr Eisor dropped me off at the end of a street and drove away. The past year had been a strange and difficult one. At least, I think it was a year. That was what Dr Eisor had told me.

It had been strange in that I had lived in close quarters with Dr Eisor and the slave girls in a cave system within the mountains and hadn't been allowed outside. At all. Difficult in that Dr Eisor had been very strict in overseeing my rehabilitation after he had finished operating on me. Learning to walk again had been hard both physically and mentally. The most important thing now was that I could walk again. The problem was that I didn't know which of these log houses was Kiran's. I hadn't really seen the outside of it when I'd last been here. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go back to my stalker Bosky soldier with mountain shoulders. Everything had been his fault to start with.

By the time Dr Eisor was happy enough with my recovery for me to leave, only Dr Eisor and his favourite slave girl had been left in that cave. The other slave girls had gradually disappeared - sold, I presumed, since Dr Eisor refused to tell me anything. He reassured me that staying in the mountains was a self-imposed exile for him and there was no need for me to plan a further revenge on him. Though I felt there was more to his story, and some days he looked haggard enough to take a huge handful of colourful pills, he ignored me if I tried to ask press him for more information.

It was strange. I had come to know him better than I had wanted to. He wasn't as talkative as I'd initially thought. Although I understood that everything he had done to me was out of loyalty to Kiran and country, the way he had gone about things still rankled at me. We had never really gotten on and he never crossed the professional barrier to try to make friends. I had a feeling he still didn't approve of me and it was highly likely he had done more to me than just fix my legs. But he never said or gloated about it like I would have expected him to when we had not been in the mountains. Even when I goaded him. He'd just smirk and tell me to wait until I was back with Kiran.

Inside the mountains, it had been cold and dark, full of lonely tunnels.The air below the mountain had more smells, was warmer and slightly more humid. It was richer and made me feel awake. Alive. It was slightly frightening to be back out under the open sky without walls and a ceiling keeping me in. At the same time, it felt as if I were a caged bird that had been set free. I was free to go wherever I liked and to do whatever I wished. Maybe I wouldn't go back to Kiran.

I felt like I'd been displaced out of time. Perhaps, I should just go home, but I didn't even know where I was. An important part of finding your way home or to unlosing yourself is to first know where you are. All I knew was that I was in Boskyland. Somewhere at the foot of some mountains. I suppose it was a start.

The street seemed deserted in the early dawn. A man out for an early morning jog passed by me without a glance. He didn't see me. I was standing behind a thick tree trunk.

Once he was out of sight, I continued my walk down the street, marvelling at how rich the air down here was compared to the mountain, making me feel like I was being re-energised with each and every breath. At the end of the street, there was a bench. Not knowing where else to go, I sat.

As mothers used to often tell their children back home: if you're lost, sit until someone comes to find you.

So sitting, I waited.

Wait.

I'm not a child anymore. What was I sitting here for? For Kiran to find me? Did I even want to see him? Well… yes… maybe… eventually. What did I really want and what was I going to do? Now that was an excellent question there.

The answer came from my depths.

I wanted to go home.

If anyone could find their way home, despite not knowing where they were, I could. A woman with my abilities, new found health and smarts, what couldn't I do?

I started walking. I'd be all right. Even without money, I'd find a way. There was always a way around things.

Another man jogged past and gave me a second glance. The first jogger from earlier returned and the two men conferred, while I continued walking down the street, back the way I had come. Maybe I was used to people watching and following me all the time. I don't know. I wasn't worried.

"Excuse me," said the first jogger, having jogged up to me. "Excuse me, Miss. We don't recognise you. Who are you and what are you doing here at this time of the morning?"

"I'm lost," I gave a small, embarrassed smile. "I came out for a walk and got lost."

"Can you tell us where your home is? Where you're going?"

I shrugged and grinned.

"It's a beautiful day though, isn't it? A good day for a run."

And I broke into a run, stopping only when the road ran back up into the mountains. I stopped beside an icy trickle of water leaking out of a rock. Tiny ferns and moss grew up around the trickle. It was beautiful and I had gone the wrong way.

"Miss," said the joggers, catching up to find me looking intently at the trickle of water. "Miss, are you all right?"

I ignored them, focussing only on what I could see. What I was trying to see. Something kept getting in my eyes and blurring my vision.