Ninety-eight: In denial

I laughed at him through my tears again, wondering if anyone was watching this through the camera in the corner.

"I turned the cameras off," he pointed at the ceiling without looking. "Don't worry."

"Worry?" I laughed again. "Why would I worry? Everyone has been watching and spying on me for years. Everyone has seen everything. I have nothing to hide, but you? You betrayed Kiran."

"It was a warning for you," he said evenly, "and it looks like it worked. It was worth it if you're still scared of me after all these years."

"You and Dr Eisor made a good team," I said, "but even the doctor apologised for going too far. You? What would Kiran say if he ever found out how you touched me? And it wasn't even once. Twice."

"I didn't rape you," Whistlor huffed. "I barely did anything to you. That, whatever you're remembering wasn't what you think."

"It was close enough," I whispered. "Tell me. If a stranger touched your privates and made you do things and did things to you that you were powerless to stop, tell me whether it's close enough to rape or not. Tell me whether people would find it acceptable now or not."

"You're a slave."

"Kiran's. Not yours," I turned my face away. "And then, the Chief took it back. Besides, slaves aren't supposed to exist anymore."

"Once a slave, always a slave, even if you don't bear the mark. I know what Doc did to you. We had to find some way to control you."

"There are other ways to control a person without having to resort to that," I cried. "If you had all just let me go home, I'd have stayed there quietly and out of the way. Why did you have to keep threatening me and scaring me into doing things to save myself? Once was enough when you showed Aylissa. You even encouraged her to...Twice is more than…"

"Listen," Whistlor snarled, "don't make me out to be a bad guy here. You're the one who was always scheming and planning behind Kiran's back. You don't know half of what he did for you and then you had to keep going and ruining things. If I didn't stop you, we might have lost the war."

"How do you know I wouldn't have helped Kiran win the war earlier? What makes you think I never cared about him? Why do you think I decided to betray my own country in the end and help him win the war anyway? If you and the doctor hadn't kept threatening me and scaring me, have you thought maybe I'd have turned sides earlier?"

"You only changed sides at the end, because your country wanted to shoot you for treason. Especially after Alfred Barrel told the whole world what you truly were."

"How is he, by the way?" I smiled and a stillness came over me.

Whistlor looked unsettled at the sudden change.

"He's fine. I don't know where he is right now, but I'm pretty sure his business is picking up again."

"Oh, good," I said, still with that same smile. "I want to thank him one day for ruining my life more than once. If it weren't for him, a lot of things wouldn't have happened. I wonder..."

"I think we're done here," Whistlor banged his hands on the table, looking disturbed and stood up, glancing back at me. "You really are an evil, selfish bitch. I wish Kiran would see reason, but since you're back and he's happy, I've nothing to say. If you ever threaten our national security though, look out. I'll have you killed and damn the consequences. You're too dangerous to leave alone on your own. Believe me, I'll be watching."

"I'll be watching you too."

"Don't forget I still know your weaknesses and how to control you."

"You ever come near or touch me again and I'll tell Kiran."

"Good. We have a deal. It's been great talking to you again, Jean."

I didn't bother to reply, annoyed that I'd fallen for his trick. Now I'd never be able to tell Kiran. Not that I'd have been able to tell him in the first place anyway. I buried my head in my knees instead and Whistlor whistled on his way out. I heard a slight commotion during the time the door was open and before it shut again.

It probably had nothing to do with me anyway. I looked at the camera in the corner and wished it had been on. It would have made excellent evidence against the man.

~~~

A long time later, I woke up from where I'd curled up in the corner when the door opened again.

"Jean," said Spiky Chin, putting down a packet of sandwiches, "do you need to go to the toilet?"

"Please," I said and he escorted me to the toilets. When I re-emerged, there was a lot of yelling going on in a back corner somewhere.

"Come on," Spiky Chin gestured. "The revelations we learnt from your conversation with Whistlor were a bit much excitement for some people. They're arguing over whether to show Kiran or not. Whistlor is obviously against it."

So they had recorded it. Good evidence. I hoped Whistlor got in trouble. I looked at the floor. Was it better for Kiran to know? Or better for him not to know?

"I thought Whistlor had turned the camera off?"

"We turned it back on. We wanted to know why you were so scared of him. Usually everyone loves him. It's odd for someone not to like him. It's all right. We understand why you might hate him, but he is one of our best Rangers."

"Men."

"What?"

"You're all the same. You men always cover up for each other. Maybe it's a Bosky thing for almost all the high up men to sexually harass the women under them and then cover up for each other."

"You realise you just lumped Kiran in there, right?"

"He's a spy and a stalker. He touched me without consent too. He married me right? When I was barely with it. I didn't even get to agree to it or not. There was no consent on my part."

"Kiran is a perfect gentleman."

"Almost perfect," I corrected. "He doesn't take 'no' for an answer. He didn't stop stalking me. He took advantage of and used me in the early stages of the war as much as he protected me."

"But girls always say 'no' first, right? It's the standard answer that doesn't always mean 'no'."

"No wonder you're all so messed up," I said, tired of talking to bigots who didn't know the difference between 'yes' and 'no'. "Tell me, do you have any children?"

"I've got two. A boy and a girl," Spiky Chin waved me back into the room, chest puffed out with pride.

"When your daughter grows up and a boy won't take 'no' for an answer, what will you do?"

"I'd beat the ever living daylights out of the boy and take my daughter home."

"What if the boy tells you what you just told me. That it's the standard response. It's in the playbook and that 'no' doesn't always mean 'no'?"

"I'd kill him or well, teach him a lesson."

"Good. Then you'd be a good father. Now say your boy did that to a girl and the girl's father came to you. Are you still going to give the same excuse?"

Spiky Chin was silent. I looked into his eyes for a long time, pleading for him to understand. He dropped his gaze first and closed the door. I hoped he understood what I'd just told him and he didn't just brush it off.