18

Marie

All day at work today, I was lost in my own thoughts. It's been a week since I said yes to Daniel and today is the day I take that back. I can't do this and the longer I hold onto Daniel, the more I hurt him. I need to let him go. I can't really do this anymore.

It's a Friday so I know Daniel is off today, I need to go see him. I still have to two more hours till work ends but I can't sit here like this. I need to see Daniel right now.

I quickly get up from my seat and walk to Karter's office. I knock on his door and before hearing a come in, I walk inside.

Karter looks up at me and furrows his eyes in confusion, "Marie?"

"I'm sorry for barging into your office but there's been a slight emergency. I was wondering if I could be excused from work early?" I ask.

"Is everything alright?" Karter asks concerned.

"Yes. No. Maybe. Can I please me dismissed?" I basically beg.

"Yes sure. Go ahead." Karter smiles.

"Thank you!" I say and as I was just at the door Harry speaks up once again, "Oh and Marie?"

I turn around and look at him, "Drive safe" he flashes me a warm smile and I nod and walk out of the office.

I drive to Daniel's place and take a deep breath. I get out of my car and walk to the elevator and press the button to the sixth floor. I take several deep breaths to calm myself down. I keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing. At least I think that I am.

I stand outside his door for 10 minutes. Just contemplating whether I should or should not do this. I have two very different voices in my head telling me to do very different things. Why can't my subconscious be straightforward and not plain annoying?

Finally after what like forever, I make up my mind and knock on the door. Within a minute Daniel opened the door in sweatpants and a white shirt. "M?" He asks, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

I smile weakly at him, "Karter let me off early. Can I come in?"

"Ofcourse. Sure" he smiles at me and moves aside to let me in.

He closes the door behind him. "You take a seat, I'll go get you something to drink. Anything specific?"

"Water will be just fine" I smile. Daniel nods and walks into the kitchen while I take a seat on the couch.

He walks back into the living room and hands me a glass of water, "Thanks" I say.

He smiles and takes a seat right next to me.

"So what brings you here right after work?" Daniel asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I need to talk to you about something very important" I say seriously.

"What is it? Are you pregnant?" Daniel asks.

My eyes widen temporarily, "No. No. It's not that. I need to talk about us"

He furrows his eyebrows at my comment, "What about us? Something about the wedding?"

He's making this worse for me, he's totally oblivious to the fact that I'm here to end things. I really don't want to hurt him but I have to do the right thing.

I place my hand on top of his and look at him, "Dan. I'm really sorry but there isn't going to be a wedding"

"W-what? What are you talking about Marie?" He asks.

"Dan, I can't do this. I can't marry you" I say.

"Why? M, we love each other. You're my everything. If this is because you think you're too young then we'll wait. We can wait all you want. There's no rush!" Daniel says moving towards me and cupping my face in his hands.

Tears started welling up in my eyes, just waiting to fall, Daniel was still holding my face as I spoke, "Dan. I'm really sorry, I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't. But recently I've come to realize that I love you but I'm not in love with you. I'm so sorry Dan."

Daniel moves away and buries his face in his hands. I can hear silent sniffling coming from him. After a minute, I rest my hand on his shoulder. "Dan, please say something. Anything"

"So all of these years have been a lie?" He asks by his voice I can tell that he's heartbroken.

I move closer to him, "No no not at all" He looks up at me," You were the first love of my life Daniel. I was in love with you. I really was but somewhere along the way, the love faded"

"I-is there someone else?" He asks looking up at me, tear stains were present on his cheeks.

"Of course not. There's no one else Dan. I just don't want to lie to you and start a life with you when there are better people out there for the both of us. Please try to understand."

"But I'm in love with you and only you Marie." Daniel says looking at me.

Tears kept streaming down my cheeks, "I know" I mumble, "That's why this is so hard. Your soul mate is out there searching for Daniel. You deserve someone way better me"

"What if I don't want anyone but you Marie?" Daniel's eyes were filled with an unreadable expression.

"Dan, please don't say that. Do you really want to be in a one sided relationship? I've really thought this through. You deserve better and soon you're going to find someone special. I promise" I say with a weak smile, my eyes still watery.

Daniel grunts and now gets up from the couch, he punches the wall in front of us and runs his hands through his hair, "Everything was great. Everything was perfect. At least I thought it was? Have all these years really been a lie? Was I the only one thinking that our relationship was really the best?"

Now it was my turn to get up, "No, no. Dan, I told you that I was really in love with you. I was. But as time moved on, I just stopped. I don't know why. I'm so sorry but you have to understand that this isn't my fault, this was never what I wanted"

Daniel turns to look at me and his face softens, "I know it isn't Marie. I know." He pauses for a few seconds and looks at the ground. He then looks back up at me, "What made all your feelings for me change?"

If only I knew the answer to that question. I wipe the tear stains on my cheeks, "I don't know. I guess the two of us weren't meant to be. I know this is way harder for then it is for me but I need you to understand that it will be alright very soon. You're going to find the love of your life very soon. I know it" I say with a weak smile.

There were a few minutes of silence and Daniel takes a seat back on the couch. I take next to him.

"So, what happens now?" Daniel asks looking at me.

"Well now, I'm going to leave and you're going to try your very best to pretend like I don't exist. It will be hard, I know but you'll try your very best and soon, you'll be laughing with your new girlfriend about why you even liked me to begin with!" I let out a chuckle at the end.

Daniel gives me a weak smile, "So is this the part where we promise to be friends but never talk to each other again?"

I smile as does Daniel, "Pretty much" After a few minutes of silence I get up, "So I should probably get going now"

Daniel gets up as well and walks over to me. Before I know it he's hugging me. I take a deep breath and wrap my arms around his shoulder, "Thank you, for being honest with me Marie." He says pulling away.

"What we had was really special Dan and I promise that I'll cherish it forever" I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.

"As will I" He says with a weak smile.

"So this is goodbye" I say.

"Yes it is goodbye."

I lean in and kiss his cheek, "Thank you for everything. For the amazing 1460 days!" Daniel and I both let out a laugh.

I look at my hand and realize that I'm still wearing my ring, I slip it off my finger and place it in Daniel's hand, "and this isn't mine. One day someone very special will wear that ring"

"It's a good thing we didn't tell our families that we were engaged yet right?" Daniel says with chuckle.

I smile at him weakly, "Bye Dan" I turn away and walk out of his apartment. As I reach my car, tears were starting to form in my eyes. I might not still be in love with him but losing someone who's always been there for me, is hard. Knowing that he is probably hurting right now because of me makes me so upset. I hope for Daniel to be happy and find the right person soon.