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I smiled at Ethan who was right next to me. I reached over and brushed some hair out of his face and let my fingers trail over his face. I traced the outlines of his cheeks, his perfect nose and soft lips that I wanted to kiss so I reached over and pressed my lips to his for a second.

I continued to watch him as he slept deeply and peacefully. The sheets were tangled up between us, his naked chest half on display and half hidden behind it.

I extended my hand towards his face again and placed my palm against his cheek.

"I'm sorry I'm hurting you. But I seem to have no choice." I whispered to him, knowing he won't be able to hear me. "Will you forgive me?" I caressed his cheek, feeling the prickles on my palm where his beard rubbed against my skin. "I wish we were normal people and I could've met you under different circumstances when things weren't so hard. I want to like you freely."