11 A Failure In Communication

Tanner pondered the nature of human perception as he and Marcella jogged through the light snow Friday morning. Last night had been as wild and amazing as he had hoped but now everything was back to normal. He felt as if something should have changed. As if his own experiences should have changed the world or his life somehow. It hadn't and the utter sameness of the base, as soldiers trained or performed their duties only drove that point home as the two ran around the base .

Tanner found himself almost comfortable here. When he'd first been drafted he'd been terrified of what military life would be like, but his fears had been unfounded and more than a bit hypocritical after he'd wanted so badly to make a difference. He looked over at Marcella, she wore a lighter jacket than he would have dared in this cold, and her still-maimed arm was in a sling underneath but her face was flush with the cold and exertion. She turned her head towards him and smiled, her dark eyes alight with joy, contentment, and the dark mischief he'd come to love.

Yes, he'd done good work here in his own odd way. If for no other reason than from helping her. He honestly had only the vaguest idea of how badly she'd been feeling but if Grace losing half her squad and fighting a pitched battle against a dozen demons only counted as 'High Stress', than Marcella's 'Extreme Stress' must have meant she was about to crack up or kill herself and after getting to know her more both in and out of bed. That would have been a tragedy.

Then there was Grace and that frantic fight on the wall and incredible love making afterwards. His contribution may still have been small but he was getting the hang of battle and his own system and was honestly looking forward to the future.

"This is incredible.." She said as they both came to a stop after their lap. Marcella wasn't even panting but Tanner had to push himself a bit to keep up with her higher stats. "I mean, the first time we were together I felt good. All the negativity, and self-doubt, and helplessness didn't go away exactly but it was like I suddenly had a more positive outlook on all of it. Yes, I'd been hurt but It wasn't like I could never be healed, and even if I wasn't I was still alive and could still fight and have a normal life. I went back to my room afterwards and had a good long cry, but it was cleansing you know? Then I marched back to the medical center and did three days of physical therapy in eight hours."

"Even when the buff wore off, and I could tell when it did, it was alright. I mean, all the doubts and fears came back, but I still had that perspective from before. It was harder but I didn't feel like I was drowning anymore. Today though.. It's like it was like last time, only times ten, and physically I feel like incredible."

Tanner smiled at her as the pair walked towards the mess hall together. They weren't exactly arm in arm but their arms were brushing quite a bit and they were likely risking some regulation violation.

"Yeah, I did gain four levels. It finally feels like I have a real system now." He said. The two made small talk as they ate and Marcella left to get ready for a shift on the wall while Tanner decided to go get some more sword practice in.

Although only people with magic systems could cast spells or work with runes there were other ways to use mana in battle. If you moved the mana through your body in the correct timing and pattern you could create some interesting effects.

It was sort of like those crazy Ki techniques from martial arts novels or manga but a good deal less flashy and powerful. Still it could boost the damage of an attack or give you a burst of speed or power when you needed it. They were sort of like fake abilities, or maybe system granted battle abilities were just extremely refined and perfected versions of what anyone theoretically could do. Systems were only around 25 years old after all. Humanity hadn't really scratched the surface of what was and wasn't possible with them.

Still, even learning a basic technique usually took months or years of dedicated training but Tanner figured that with his Sage Mode going he might be able to cut some time off and his mind kept pushing him to do something productive today instead of going back to his room to veg out.

So Tanner headed to the training yard with his Rune-Sword and started to work. He started with a few of the basic foot-work drills he'd been taught then began to mess around with mana. Tanner quickly realized he had vastly underestimated the difficulty of his task.

He remembered when he and his dad went over to Sandra's house to help her mom clean sticks out of the yard. He'd been about 14 and there had been a summer storm that had blown down a bunch of branches and a few larger limbs from the trees in their backyard.

Tanner's dad had him drive the lawn-mower and attached a four wheel cart to it to hold the sticks. Tanner remembered the first time he'd tried to back up with the thing and nearly crashed. He remembered spending a solid ten minutes just inching forward and backwards trying to adjust his mower to get the axle of the cart in the right direction so the cart would turn the way he wanted it.

Trying to use mana to empower his body was sort of like that. Only instead of one cart behind the mower he was trying to back-up with a train of eight carts and every time he moved at all it sat off a chain of counter reactions in a random cascade that nearly always did something completely different from what he'd intended.

In the first ten minutes he fell flat on his face twice, nutted himself with the hilt of his sword, and almost cut off his left foot. That was when he decided to skip the sword for now and just try it barehanded. Tanner lost himself in the experimentation. The process was fascinating and he was spurred on by his Sage Mode's drive for self-improvement. He finally achieved the barest hint of moving in the right direction when he'd decided to start sending tiny busts of mana into various muscles to see what happened. It never did what he wanted but he did finally achieve some consistency.

His last experiment was sending a burst of mana down into his legs while running to attempt a speed burst. Instead of jetting forwards both his legs snapped instantly straight with incredible power, and tanner rocketed into a five-foot vertical leap with a small flash of blue light. Had he been standing still, that would have been fine but he'd tried it while running so he pinwheeled in the air and smashed chest first into the ground with his legs flying up behind his head like an accordion before he uncoiled into a groaning heap.

He was pretty sure he'd just pulled every single muscle in his back and his legs didn't exactly feel great either. He rolled over and looked up into the sky already coloring with sun-set and blinked. It was only then he noticed how hungry he was, and how much he had to piss. He must have trained the entire day without even noticing.

"You do realize that mana-empowerment is crazy dangerous right? Even if you get it right you can seriously damage your tendons and ligaments if your body isn't strong enough to handle the extra power." Said an amused and familiar voice form next to him.

Tanner turned his head to see Sandra looking down at him from a few feet away. She was wearing her own uniform and Tanner blinked up at her in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"The same thing you are obviously. They drafted all kids with battle systems above level five. I just got out here this morning and got my gear and my rack in the barracks. Had some time to waste tonight so I thought I'd explore a bit and saw you out here practicing. I didn't want to disturb you." She said with a smirk.

Tanner tried to stand and his whole body exploded into pain but he fought it down and made it, although he was less than steady. Sandra walked over and leant him a shoulder.

"Common, I'll take you to medical. I'm pretty sure it's over this way and you can't be the first idiot to hurt himself training." Tanner stumped over to grab his sword then let Sandra help him to medical. Turned out he had damaged the meniscus in both knees, and partially torn his lats.

He got a stern lecture from the healer about not attempting mana empowerment without supervision and at least 18 vitality, before he and Sandra headed back to his room. Tanner let her inside and she looked around with a raised eyebrow.

"You have your own room? How the hell did you swing that?" She asked looking around. It wasn't a large room but it was way better than the barracks he had to agree to. He hadn't decorated it at all, but that made it easier to keep clean.

"I'm pretty sure it was so I could have someplace private to work. If they needed me to…" He said with a blush. He'd come to terms with his system and the life he was going to lead but talking to Sandra about having sex was still awkward.

"I see... " She said with a dangerous smirk. "and just how many girls here have you been helping…"

That was when the universe conspired against him. There was a thump on his door then a loud giggle.

"Coooommmonnn… thish is taking...for...forever….. Forrrrevvver… Forroever…." said another obviously drunken female voice.

"Jussstt.. Shadduap already.. This will be GREAT! He's so sweet, and HIS DICK IS BIG!" Said a second voice with another giggle. The last part was supposed to have been a whisper but in true drunk girl fashion it was so loud he could easily hear it through the door.

Tanner turned towards Sandra and she was still giving him that same dangerous little smile but her eyes could have melted steel.

The door finally opened and Marcella stumbled in with a wave of perfume and tequila scented air. Marcella had her arms wrapped around another woman Tanner had never seen before. She was five nothing and tiny, and her pale face was completely red from booze. They came to a rather wavering halt and Marcella spoke up again.

"ALLL RIGHt.. Now let's Double-team the SHIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiii... " her voice tailed off and her eyes went comically wide as she finally registered Sandra's presence.

"SHhhommmone beat us…." Said the smaller girl petulantly.

"Oh Shit… Sorry!" Marcella said in the too serious voice of the very drunk and tired to pull her equally drunk friend out of the room again. It didn't go well and Tanner winced as the pair slammed into the door frame before finally falling into the hall. Eventually they made it back to their feet and shut the door as they stumbled away laughing.

"And here I was worried about you. I didn't know you were running a frat house in the middle of the base with drunken coeds dropping by for threesomes." Her voice was tight and Tanner sighed.

Tanner rubbed his palms into his eyes. This was like a nightmare. "Look, Yes I've had sex here. I have a support system. It's my JOB, but don't act like I have a harem waiting on me. I've never even seen that small girl before!" Tanner realized that he wasn't really helping his case with that last statement but Sandra cut him off.

"It's none of my business. You're single and on your own. I understand." She said cooly. Tanner rolled his eyes. Why was it that women felt the need to tell men nothing was wrong, even when they were right in the middle of throwing a fit?

"It obviously is your business or you wouldn't sound so upset! Christ… I don't know what is going on between us… but…" He was cut off as there was another sharp rap on the door and Grace walked in with her long purposeful strides. In true Grace fashion she was already unbuttoning her pants when she noticed Sandra.

She paused… blushed, then re-buttoned her pants and scampered back out the door.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Tanner said as he looked up at the ceiling. Why was this shit happening now of all times? This was like one of those farce plays.

"None of my business…" Sandra said, her voice now sounding hurt instead of angry. "But her really? She looks like a man. You could do way better than her, but I guess you'd stick your dick in anything now."

That made Tanner lose his temper. He prided himself on being a reasonable person but Grace was a sweet girl and had her own beauty. "Sandra… Stop being a bitch." Tanner said in a too calm voice. "Grace is one of the best people I've ever met and she saved my life twice on the wall. You don't have any god-damn right to come in here and start judging me."

"I haven't seen you in three weeks and you don't ask me if I'm ok. Or if I've had to fight demons yet? Or if I made any friends. Well, I've almost died a load of times. I watched my only kinda friend in this whole fucking base be turned into green pus and you just come in here acting like a jealous wife who just caught her husband's mistress."

There were tears in her eyes now but her voice was still cold when she asked. "Are you done?"

"No, I'm not. I followed you around like a lost puppy for YEARS. All through middle school and most of high-school. I would have done anything for you if you'd have showed me the least attention or encouragement but Sandra was always too fucking good for nice-guy Tanner!" His calm voice had left him and he was shouting now.

"You think I didn't notice how you always brought your boyfriends around to show off to me? You think I didn't realize the only reason Heather asked me out in ninth-grade was because you made her?"

"And now that I've finally met some women who actually give a shit about me, you come in here and act like a dog in the manger? I never wanted you but they can't have you either." He pointed at the door. "Get the fuck out." He said, disgusted.

Her lip was quivering but she stomped towards the door. She'd only taken a step where there was another knock. Sandra sneered at him and yanked the door open. On the other-side stood Tanner's dad and Sandra's mom, both smiling although the smiles faded when they saw Sandra's puffy eyes and Tanner's flushed face.

"Is there a problem?" Ms. Aster asked.

"No… and apparently there never will be." Tanner said bitterly.