II. Anoter dark love tale

Yes, I did it again, I let my heart open, actually, I didn't, he just was there. I did not see that coming, I always saw him, and like a fungus I couldn't possibly notice he was going to become so much for me to deal with it, he was far, like the others, and now I hold him into my arms and cherish for him. Althought I'm the only one doing it, again, I should value myself more and control those feelings from spreading so easily. But some deep part of me doesnt want to do that, If I let myself get cold like an iceberg, how could I get into the people that I love and are for me just as I am for them; the problem is not my feelings, it's my expectations, how can those be controled?

They are almost like living organs, they spread in the same way that milk spreads on the floor when spilled and then it's impossible to control.

So I have to take responsabilittie for that spilled milk, I have to endure the pain that is to love, that someone that doesn't even botter about me. Again. And Again. That's my curse.

Funny, I got this sentence for one of my old crushes, at the end I at least now I'll be able do dry this mess without forgetting it's value. What I think it's kinda cute.

I don't think I should forget people, or forget the way they made me feel, I should get into the whole of loving, of hurting, going deeper and deeper, beause when I come back to the surface, I won't be the same anymore, even that I won't ever be with my lovers, loving them will make me stronger, even throught it includes me feeling small on the way. I'm not a perfect human being, I'm sorry, but I don't want to feel bad about being just like everone else, scared, unperfect and looking for my happiness.