Chapter I.1

"How much do you like my name?" I asked him.

"It is not about liking, what matter is to whom it belongs." He answers smoothly.

I don't like having a conversation with him neither calling my name.

"Do you like the show?" I ask him again sarcastically.

If I have no power inside of that room, then I can claim it from here.

"You're trembling." He says as if ignoring my fits.

"Wha-what?" I looked at my hands and I'm perfectly fine.

"You trembled in unspeakable fear." He says as I look back at him.

No, I don't.

Maybe he's trying to pull another trick, the power of mind manipulation.

All he knows is push you into corner and slams his perspective until what's left is to swallow it.

"You think I will actually believe whatever comes out from your mouth?" I throw back to him unbelievingly and he exhales silently but still remains calm.

If he can persuade my grandmother, then he has to think differently when it comes to me.

"No." He answers firmly. "But I expect your stubbornness and I anticipate the outcome." He pauses then opens his mouth and I don't like how he would express his thoughts. "Il n'y a pas plus sourd que celui qui ne veut pas entendre." He hissed in French and I can't contain myself from rolling my eyes. (T/N: No one is as deaf as the one who does not want to listen.)

"Stop me with your French." I bark to him.

"That's my native tongue." He retorts back.

"You have Filipino blood in you, you—"

"Ca a toujours été mon choix depuis lors." He cuts me off as he gazes at me intensely and I stopped, and there is only a significance of our conversation, it is pointless. (T/N: It has always been my choice ever since.)

He's too arrogant to lower his banner to ours.

He never utters a single word of Tagalog, I never heard him in person, in private, in public and maybe even in his sleep.

I would never understand him and maybe that's what he wants, his ultimate weapon.

(A/N: Don't be surprised if this is Ellaine's perspective and you can see French statements. I can't make this conversation imaginable if I put blah blah, thanks. J )

I sigh and turn my stares on the lit Holtkoetter Old Bronze Swing Arm lamps affixed on the dark granite wall with indoor plants on the sides exposed in beaming sunlight.

I should let things slide, I need to stay calm and keep my composure steady.

He walks over to the plant being blessed by the sunshine, raises his foot just leveling the middle of pot's height and pushes it gently, moving to the side where shrouded from the sunlight.

"Aphelandra squarrosa does not enjoy too much sunlight." He says. "Does it ever bloom?" He asked as he bends down and near to squatting, his other knee almost touching the floor while the other, levels his hips and supports his other arm then he glanced on my side as if awaiting for my reply.

"No." I answered uninterestingly, what does he know about plants anyway?

He touches the dull and faint green leaf veined with white stripes gently and looks at it intently.

"Humans do not understand how plants live until you just see them dying." He quietly says.

I stepped forward mindlessly and look at it. "But it is not dying." I remark to him.

"It is not living either. Human lives with a purpose and same goes in plant, if it never blooms" He looks at me and my heart jumps a little because his eyes are trying to convey something I would never find out. "it never lives."

I gasp quietly, something hit me.

No one knows its purpose, its living, so it was left on its own pot.

"What are you afraid of? Is it me or the things I'll be taking away from you?" He says and that snapped me back to reality, he's standing infront of me, closely but with decent distance, he's trying to search my eyes but I try to shatter my visions into pieces.

He caught me and he's terrible, whatever he says, makes me realize something I'm not fully aware of and seems obscured.

Everyone missed what I wanted but he knows what I fear.

I want something I can never have.

I turned my hand into fist.

"My apologies." I hear him saying formally, it startles me as I instantly look back to him.

His words… doesn't correspond to his thoughts, he doesn't look apologetic at all.

He's not the man who was born to empathize.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask him, not pleased.

"For not telling you beforehand." He says steadily.

Sorry but not sorry.

"Then take it back and I'll accept your apology." I demanded.

"Ellaine." He says and I didn't notice that he has gotten closer from before or maybe I was too occupied with my own thoughts.

He reaches out and I froze from my own shadow, I could only stare at him as he touches my hair gently, holds some strands, sliding on his strong and firm fingers.

"Humans are virus to each other and if they can erase the past and dictate the future, then the point of life is a disease and its purpose will cease to exists." He looks at me with his piercing eyes, digging further and I want him to stop but I just simply can't. "And fate will be ashamed to defend its title."

I snatched back my hair from him as I try to fight back his gazes, leaving his open hand on midair. "My destiny is right here." I pushed my hand halfway to his face, showing my pinkish palm. "And you'll never become part of it." I finally confessed.

I'm not afraid of him.

Then out of thin air, I just felt something touched my hand, firm, strong but somewhat gentle and that draws my attention.

"You didn't see that coming?"

I hear him saying but all I could see is our touched hands, barely but you could still feel it.

His pulse, the warmth…

"That's how fate works." He whispers and my senses are somewhere.

I intertwined my small hand to his, larger at some point and I look like his child.

I like the feeling.

His hand is soft like a pillow made of feathers, larger that can swallow mine and firmer as if he's molding it to clasp a roman sword.

I squeezed it unwillingly.

Why am I even doing this?

Then I was pulled forward with surprising strength and my hand is still enlaced to his. The space is gone, respectable distance was brushed aside and I can feel his warm and cool breathe mixed together.

My wide eyes to his heavy stares, my face was forced to look up, his seriousness only reveals how perfect his facial features are, I've been neglecting him all along but I can't deny this time that he's the burning sun, planets dying to revolve around.

Hindi ako makagalaw, hindi ako nakapagreact at hindi ko alam kung bakit na lang nag-iba ang tibok ng puso ko.

I can feel his breathe coming out from him, his steady pace of heartbeat, and the warmth radiating from his body.

I can even… smell his scent or perfume.

The space doesn't exist anymore in this world.

"Ellaine." He calls me gently, his breath brushes my skin, it makes me shiver, I'm having goose bumps.

"Wha-what are yo-you doing?" I feel troubled and I'm in between the world of light and darkness, both of it is trying to catch me first, I'm confused.

"Sois silencieux et écoute." He utters silently.

I don't know what he's saying and I'm not sure why it really makes me feel…

"I-I fe-feel so un-uncomfortable. Very." I blurted out nervously and I wonder if I have a full grasp on my mind right now.

Heinrich has never closed his distance to me, commonly, he would always keep at least three to four feet apart to keep our decency.

"But you held my hand. I hope I didn't misjudge your actions." He shakes my hand demonstrating his point.

His smirk slapped me back to reality.

I touched him, I initiated this first and now I'm regretting it. How foolish I was.

I tried to pull away but he's a kind of specie who doesn't let go of things easily, he tightened his grip, not to hurt but to stop me from retreating.

"Let. Go." I demanded.

"Not until I say this. Les jours se suivent et ne se ressemblent pas." He responded.

No. Then I remembered Lola, she was hypnotized by him.

"Are you chanting me a spell? Just like the way you bewitched Lola?" I snarled at him.

What makes me hate him the most is his smirking-style-when-you-try-to-confront-him and he keeps on doing it all the time.

Everyone thinks he's too difficult to read and predict with his emotion-proof face but with just his mighty 'smirk', he's a white fox.

"I don't do voodooism and as far as I can tell, your grandma is a volunteer and great supporter of my presence. I didn't charm anybody, they just find me capable and captivating in every perspective that exists."

I rolled my eyes; his overwhelming confidence strikes again.

"I thought we're the same at some point. We both hate this." I started what I've wanted to say all along.

And it is true, I thought he feels the same way, that we're trapped and we're doing what is best to live for others and for your own sake.

His lips thinned out and he looks disappointed and surprised.

Just agree.

"No Ellaine, we're not the same… we both wanted different things." He looks unfazed. "You believe on what you easily perceived that's why you were deceived."

So unfortunate.

And now, you're blaming me for your self-interest decision.

This is pointless.

Iniwas ko agad ang tingin sa kanya, I pulled my hand forcefully and pushed him a little, away from me. I hug myself at medyo na-startle ako dahil sa medyo warm ang mga kamay ko.

I regained myself and stand firm as he's my opponent. "I'm leaving."

Tumalikod na ko.

Ngunit hindi natuloy ang paghakbang ko dahil may naramdaman akong pumigil sa aking pagkilos.

I looked down, his arms encircling me and hands gently touching each other.

Not again.

Why does he keep on doing this to me?

"Heinrich." I resist. "Stop."

"I said, écouter." He disrupted me. (T/N: 'listen'.)

I breathe out and I surrendered a little, I'm starting to feel tired.

"There are things that we don't understand in this world, whether it really has a purpose, definition, fact, connection, existence or just mere human beliefs we impose to others but…" He pauses for a while as if he's thinking of it and wanted to be certain. "if you find someone who can give you those answers, it is better to be with them than empty-handed." He says bravely but lightly, no sign of hesitation and full of conclusion.

I wonder why he's saying this.

Then we're at peace, I can't say anything. I'm trying to absorb what he said but all I could think of is the word ecoter.

He's a serious-minded person, egoistic, authoritative and only good with his own judgment; that's who he is.

But this piece of him is definitely out of his character.

And I don't like where this is heading.

I can't go any further. I need to stop him. We need to stop this moment.

I focused myself on breathing, inalis ko ang mga kamay nya sakin at naglakad ng tatlong hakbang papalayo dahil medyo nanginginig pa ata ang mga tuhod ko.

I wonder why.

"I-I'm in a hurry. I-I need to catch my couturier." I said quivering as I started to walk wobbly so I slow down my pace.

Wala kong naririnig na yapak o movement pero nararamdaman ko na nakatingin sya sakin.

"Ellaine!" Napatigil ako at tumingin sa papalapit na lalaki.

My father.

He's happy… really happy. Naka-extend ang mga braso nya habang papalapit sakin at bigla na lang akong niyakap.

Good, he didn't see us on that state.

"I'm so, so, very much proud of you Ellaine! I heard everything." He whispered. "The chosen heiress of Chysller inheritance…" Humigpit ang pagkakayakap nya sakin.

I knew it. He always conceives this as a natural event since he too… was favored by our grandmother.

I'm not happy. I don't feel anything. I knew he would say that.

He always says that and he expects this.

"Thanks daddy, you're late." I said at binitawan na nya ko.

"No Ellaine, thank you. You don't know how much joy and gratitude I'm feeling right now." He smiled, I nod uncertainly and he pats me gently on my shoulder then he continues to walk away where he's heading while I did the same.

They said when your father calls you baby girl or any sweet names, it means he has a great affection for you but in my entire living being with him, I always hear him calling me Ellaine, no matter how joyful he is.

"Oh Heinrich! Nandyan ka pala, nagkausap na ba kayo ni Ellaine?" Narinig kong sinasabi ni papa sa likod, mas binilisan ko pa ang lakad para totally magdisappear ako sa paningin nila.

I don't want to see Heinrich or hear a single word from their conversation.

I heard them talking when I made my turn on the hallway corner.

He said… "We're getting married."

And I failed.