20 Slay Me -【3】
I did not expect it from him either. Yet the open display of his attitudes towards me was unpleasant to handle and I did my best to conceal it as I bit my lower lip firmly to feel pain from elsewhere rather than my heart.
Some unmated males of Deimos's pack view me with lecherous eyes browsing down my morning attire, I am quite used to it but knowing that my male is next to me has me feel guarded.
They noticed his blatant disregard of me, that is why they possess the cockiness to gawk at me this way. I do not like it, the way they look at me for it is as though they are undressing me and visualizing me bare.
If Aegeus or Orien were here these males would be pummeled to the ground bleeding. The need to be shielded ignites from within and I unknowingly shuffle closer to him seeking his possessiveness of me.
Yet he startles visibly and so do I, he halts his every action as though registering what I just did. The totality of his flesh trembles frantically and the metal fork he holds upon his knee breaks into two parts plummeting to the floor with the strength he exerts.
With neither a glance nor a word at me he stands up gathering attention from every wolf present. My heart hammers within whilst my hands quiver to the prying eyes that linger on my flesh, this is truly embarrassing.
Seizing his plate and a napkin he marches out into the open field to settle beneath a tree continuing his meal with peacefulness. Is this how I make him feel? Disgusted? Must I never touch him and merely wait for him to fondle me? Why do you deem me this way, Phobos? I do not recognise you.
"Luna Theia." Lumina's females encircle me with their tepidity as I peer up at them stunned by their startling proximity.
"Y-Yes?" I question shifting in my chair to meet them.
"We just wished to say you are very beautiful, we have never seen such elegance as yours in our lands. We hope you enjoy your meal, Luna Theia." One of the females' discourses on behalf of the group as I beam up at them for their generous words.
"Thank you. You are all quite beautiful as well. I shall treasure your words. Lumina is very lucky to have such wonderful females as you all by her side." I whisper and their cheeks turn bright red to my compliment. I see no resentment or envy in their eyes just pure kindness. It eases my discomfort and I am appreciative.
Whilst they bow in farewell and leave to commence their day my blues peer out the window searching for him once more. I think this is how it shall always be between us. Me watching him from a barrier he forbids me from traversing.
"Theia," Lumina calls my name clemently as I rise to greet her in awe of her surprising desire to speak with me. I thought she despised me.
"Lumina," I whisper suffocating with remorse for I failed to ease her uncertainties regarding Deimos and me. I wonder if he had addressed her about it.
"Come. Let us talk outside." She declares with a feeble smile marching ahead of me obliquely requesting me to follow and I do so without question.
She steers me to a sequestered place with no wolves as we lurk beneath the shade of a sycamore tree. "Put a spell on him."
"W-What?" I question. A spell on whom? I am neither a witch nor a healer, I cannot put a charm on any wolf. What is she speaking about?
"No matter what, he cannot deny you. So fight him with what you have that he doesn't." She animates as a conclusion from her terms tardily sinks in. She has witnessed Phobos's opinions towards me, she is giving me advice.
"And what is that?" I ask with curiosity. Is it not the opposite for he has everything that I do not possess?
"Your soul." She smiles as my eyes broaden to her expressions. My soul? "Seduce him. Make him jealous. Make him sad. Make him frustrated. Make him confused. Make him angry. Make him feel, Theia. Only you can do that."
My eyes descend to the earth. We are tethered by souls, he is not soulless. If he is staunch against our mate bond whatever I shall do will have no genuine impact on him. "He has his walls and he is hiding what you make him feel. Tear them down. Sink your claws deep and rip them apart and you will see how truly vulnerable he is."
She believes Phobos is alike other wolves, similar to her male. That is where she is mistaken. Phobos is unpenetrable, he is a beast who balances both human emotions and animal instincts with proficiency. Her advice is meaningless. Everything I try with him is solutionless.
"He is not Deimos!" I spit goading my nails into my palm, my globes shut whilst my body shudders with tribulation. What do I do with him? How do I make him mine?
"Trust my words, Theia. He is the same for you will see the similarities with time."
"Why are you helping me?" I question with suspicion. What does she want with me? Is she trying to punish me for our past using the instability of my mate bond as her prime tool?
"You remind me of who I was when I met Deimos. I desperately needed advice but could find no one to come to my aid." She responds casually stretching her limbs seeking to loosen the knots of her body, she seems exhausted her pup must be draining her raw.
"Thank you," I murmur peering at her bewitching greys. I am pleased she feels no more enmity towards me, I want us to be friends.
Our conversation is terminated by an agitated Lumina examining the wolves packed far away from us with a rage that occupies her. Is she all right? Out of nowhere despite her pregnant belly, her feet lead her away from me to the edge of the field with agility as I gaze at her dumbfounded. She confuses me so much with her antics.
The entrancing scent of my male deluges me with an exquisite aftertaste that lingers on the tip of my tongue and I am hasty to turn and ]descry him as he stands next to Deimos his eyes scrutinizing Lumina as though he is examining her for something. Why won't he look at me like that? Why won't he analyze the goodness or the kindness I possess?
Is this all he expects to be mighty and dominant? Is that all his pack demands of him and me? If that is so how will there be light in this world to overcome darkness? How will there be good amidst evil?
I noticed he had been monitoring her for the past weeks, stealthily in the shadows assaying her every action but he was not aware that his female stood hidden behind him sorrowfully watching him inspect her. At times I feel relieved that Lumina belongs to Deimos for if she weren't I dread Phobos would have claimed her in front of me with no care for she is everything he craves for his pack.
As I glimpse back at Lumina my eyes swell for I am caught off guard by the way she hoists a silver knife its blade razor-sharp to merely thrust it deep into a male's arm hauling it upward from his elbow bone to his wrist.
Bile mounts up my throat as I gag at her masterpiece, it is a barbarous sight to witness but her wolves are calm their chests enlarged in pride of their Luna's antics. Is this how Phobos wants me to be? To punish wolves with such cruelty? No wolf deserves such punishments, this is utmost savageness.
Hastening to another secluded area of the field I lean behind a bush purging the contents of my stomach the male's bloody torn arm erupting within my mind. How is she able to deliver such inhuman penalties with ease? I can never do this. Never.
Phobos's feelings towards me of me being undeserving seem to be more obvious now for I realise his pack would truly need a female like her. With me as their Luna, they will suffer just because I am not as ruthless as them and that curse of reality has me retch further.
"What happened?" Lumina questions softly from behind me rubbing my back with a gentleness.
"I c-cant h-handle blood." I gag for the metallic smell of blood still lingers on her flesh adding to my abhorrence of it.
Her Beta Elriam delivers to me a cup of water that I take thankfully from her hands as I gulp it down speedily easing my sore throat. Once I am relaxed and settled Lumina guides me towards Deimos and Phobos.
I grapple to pace steadily stumbling along the way for my being feels weakened overwhelmed by my aversion to blood. I sniff brushing my nose with the sleeve of the snug baggy sweater I obtained from one of the females who was kind enough to lend a few clothes to me for the past weeks.
"Are you all right, Luna?" Drakho surprises me with his sudden proximity. Where has this male been? He comes and goes as though he were a ghost.
"Yes I am all right, thank you Drakho." I smile up at him with politeness to his concern.
Our attention reverses to Phobos who regards Lumina with his ocean blues whilst his arms are folded tightly across his chest, muscles protruding with their confinement.
All these weeks I yearned for him to speak to me and now he does yet it is not meant for the ears of his moon blessed but another female. Just one callous word he states whilst peering at her with a terse nod. "Hoden."
"What did he just tell her, Drakho?" I whisper breathlessly not taking my eyes away from the magnificent features of my beloved. The skin of my heart has peeled thoroughly and my exposed flesh remains for his claws to delve deep. I prepare myself for the verity that shall devour me to leave me in a heap of bones.
"He called her worthy, Luna."
I smile. Not the kind that brings forth joy but one that portrays the rotting soul within. Might as well butcher me with your truth, Phobos. Slay me.
~~~
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