1 1. Thinking Creatively About Human Relations

All of us want two things out of life: Success and Happiness.

All of us are different. Your idea of success may be different from mine. But there is one big factor which all of us must learn to deal with if we are to be successful and happy. The one common denominator to all success and happiness is other people.

Various scientific studies have proven that if you learn how to deal with other people, you will have gone 85% of the way down the road to success in any business, occupation, or profession, and about 99% of the way to personal happiness.

Merely getting along isn't the answer. What countsis a way to deal with people that will bring us personal satisfaction and, at the same time, not trample on others' egos. Human relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact. And this is the only method of getting along with people that ever results in any real success or satisfaction.

The reason 90% of people fail in life is a failure to deal successfully with people. Look around you. Are the most successful people those with the most brains, or the most skill? Are the people who are the happiest and get the most fun out of life so much smarter than the other people you know? If you will stop and think for a moment, the chances are that you will say that the people you know who are most successful and enjoy life the most, are those who "have a way" with people.

Your personality problems are your problems with other people. There are millions of people today who are self conscious, shy, and ill-at-ease in social situations. They feel inferior and never realize that their real problem is a human relations problem.It never seems to get across to them that their failure as a personality is a failure in learning to deal successfully with people.

There are almost as many who, at least on the surface, seem to be the very opposite of the shy, retiring type. They appear to be self-assured. They are "bossy" and dominate any social situation they are in, whether it is home, the office, or the club. Yet, they too realize that something is missing. They wonder why their employees or their families do not appreciate them. They wonder why people do not cooperate more willingly; why it is necessary to continually force people into line. And, most of all, they realize in their more candid moments, that the people they are most anxious to impress never really give them the approval and acceptance they crave. They attempt to force cooperation, loyalty and friendship; to push people to produce for them. But, the one thing they cannot force is the thing they want the most, they cannot force people to like them. They never really get what they want because they have never mastered the art of dealing with people..

Whether we like it or not, people are here to stay. In our modern world, we simply cannot achieve any success or happiness without taking other people into account. The doctor, the lawyer, or the sales person who enjoys the most success is not necessarily the one who is the most intelligent or the most skillful in the mechanics of his or her job. The husband and wife who are the happiest are not the ones who are the most attractive. Look for success in any endeavor and you will find someone who has mastered the knack of dealing with people... a person who has a "way" with others.

Skill in human relations is similar to skill in any other field, in that success depends on understanding and mastering certain basic general principles. You must not only know what to do, but why you're doing it. As far as basic principles are concerned, people are all the same. Yet each individual person you meet is different. If you attempted to learn some gimmick to deal successfully with each separate individual you met, you would be faced with a hopeless task.

Influencing people is an art, not a gimmick. When you apply gimmicks in a superficial, mechanical manner, you go through the same motions as the person who "has a way", but it doesn't work for you.

The purpose of this book is to give you knowledge based upon an understanding of human nature: why people act the way they do. The methods presented in this book have been tested on thousands of people who have attended my human relations seminars. They are not just my pet ideas of how you should deal with people, but ideas that have stood the test of how you must deal with people. That is, if you want to get along with them and get what you want at the same time.

Yes, we all want success and happiness. And the day is long past, if it ever existed, when you could achieve these goals by forcing people to give you what you want. And begging is no better. No one has respect for, or any desire to help, the person who constantly kowtows and literally goes around with his hand out. begging other people to like him.

The one successful way to get the things you want from life is to acquire skill in dealing with people. Read on and you will learn how.