61 Don’t Feed the Animals

It had been one month since they started dating.

Amane, who hadn't even kissed anyone before, still wasn't

sure how he was supposed to touch Mahiru.

They'd held hands and hugged each other but hadn't

taken it any further than that.

Even though they had embraced the other day while he

was shirtless, nothing else had happened. Amane was sure

that if Itsuki somehow heard the story, he would be

subjected to plenty of teasing. Of course, Amane didn't agree

with Itsuki's judgment on the matter, but he also understood

why his friend might point out that it wasn't very manly.

Amane wanted to take their relationship to the next level,

but he was also afraid of moving forward. If she rejected his

advances, or if he hurt her and made her cry, Amane was

certain he would never recover from it. And he was terribly

worried that she would think he was a loser.

He glanced over at Mahiru, who was sitting beside him.

The day after she said it was all right to touch her, she was

fidgety and restless. However, several days had passed since

her remark, and perhaps she understood that Amane wasn't

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

going to try anything, because she had gradually returned to

her usual demeanor.

Even Amane thought it was weird that he was feeling

more awkward than her, but in the end, he couldn't help

being nervous.

"…Is something the matter?"

Mahiru had apparently noticed his gaze, and she looked

confused. She didn't seem to have noticed his internal

conflict.

"N-no, I was just… Well, I don't know how I'm supposed

to touch you, Mahiru."

He added quietly that he wanted to, but not carelessly, a

statement that sounded weak as soon as he said it.

Mahiru's eyes widened as she recalled again what had

happened the other day, and her gaze shifted nervously.

Apparently she hadn't been thinking about it at all. Her

reaction made Amane laugh.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"…Is that something you should ask me?"

"W-well, you're the one getting touched, right? I don't

want to do anything you don't want, and I'd like to be as

gentle as possible toward you."

He'd prefer to avoid rushing ahead and acting on his own

feelings, because he knew that his conscience would never

let him rest if he made Mahiru uncomfortable. His parents

would certainly reprimand him if they ever found out.

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

Precisely because this was his first relationship, and there

was no room for error, Amane knew he should be as

considerate as possible, and since it would also really hurt

him if she cried or ended up hating him. He wanted to grant

all of Mahiru's wishes.

With his heart set on that, he stared back at Mahiru, who

squirmed like she wanted to run away but then leaned

against Amane's shoulder.

"I-it's fine; you can do whatever you like," she said. "Just

don't tickle me or pinch my belly."

"…You don't have anything to pinch, do you?"

"Well, I do keep a close eye on my figure, but whether or

not I have anything extra there, girls generally hate getting

their bellies squeezed by their boyfriends."

"Well, I don't plan on doing anything you would hate,

but…um, is it really okay?"

"I told you: It's fine."

Mahiru had stated definitively that he could do as he

pleased, but still, maybe she felt there was something a little

scary about allowing a guy to touch her however he wanted,

even if that guy was her boyfriend. Through the shoulder

that she was leaning on, Amane felt a slight shiver run

through her body.

He was happy she accepted him, but on the other hand, he

knew he would have to be careful because it would still be

problematic if he was pushy about it.

He really wanted to touch her but didn't know what to do,

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

so after puzzling over it for a long ten seconds, Amane

pushed her up from his shoulder and embraced her gently

like he was trying to wrap himself around her whole body.

He could tell that her small frame was shaking and curling

up with surprise inside his arms, so in an effort to relax her,

with gentle, deliberate movements, he patted her back to

calm her down.

He didn't want to frighten her, and with that in mind, he

touched her with careful gestures. Mahiru relaxed and

leaned against him.

"…You don't have to worry; I won't do anything more."

"I-I'm not particularly scared… Just, well, first I'm

embarrassed, and…I was expecting more, I guess."

"Expecting…?"

"You know…a kiss or something."

Mahiru whispered the last bit weakly as she nuzzled her

cheek against Amane's chest, and this time it was his turn to

tremble.

"…A-Amane, I know you really love me, and that you've

been cherishing me like some treasured object, but…I want

to really feel your love."

Amane felt a swell of emotion at Mahiru's adorable words.

Although she always radiated of cuteness, she unconsciously

hit her boyfriend with an extra-large helping, and Amane's

head started spinning.

If he wasn't careful, he was going to grasp her tightly and

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

never let go, so he had to bite his lip hard and suppress that

urge.

"I know you don't want to rush me, and you're not going

to…to coax me into anything, but…"

Mahiru was mumbling in a tearful voice, with an

expression that was shy and apologetic.

Unable to bear it any longer, Amane buried his face in her

collar.

"…I can't take this anymore."

His quiet whisper seemed to have reached Mahiru's ears,

since she was trembling uneasily. He didn't want her to

misunderstand, so he peered into her teary eyes and

continued.

"Here's the thing, Mahiru. When you say stuff like that,

it's hard for me to resist. But if we go forward, I'm never

going to want to go back."

Hoping that hearing his plea would do her some good,

Amane squeezed her in a tight embrace as he mumbled his

objections.

"I think you ought to value yourself a little more, Mahiru."

"I—I do, but we're in love, so I want you to do as you

please."

"Please stop with the suggestive statements. You shouldn't

test a man's restraint."

"Test…?"

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

"…If you understand how much I love you, like you say,

then you're being a terrible temptress."

Amane did consider she might be stirring him up on

purpose, knowing he absolutely wouldn't make a move, but

he concluded there was no way that innocent Mahiru would

do such a shrewd thing. In other words, she was seducing

him without even knowing she was doing it. That was the

scariest thing about it.

Maybe because she sensed Amane's face pucker as he

tried to resist temptation, Mahiru's cheeks flushed slightly

as she looked up at him with a sweet gaze.

"…I trust you; you know?"

"I feel like my trust is being held hostage."

"Th-that wasn't my intention, though. I see that you're

conflicted, and somehow…that makes me happy. Wait, I—I

don't mean that I'm enjoying this or anything, okay? But the

idea that you treasure me so much, well, I can really tell, and

it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy—and so loved…"

In spite of himself, Amane looked at Mahiru after she

whispered these heartfelt words and received a fleeting,

bashful look in return.

"In the past, I learned all sorts of things from the

housekeeper, Miss Koyuki, so I know that people like you are

incredibly rare, Amane. People who listen to the feelings of

others and respect them. I know that you respect me—and

that you treasure me. That's exactly why you gave me the

right to choose earlier."

It was precisely because he treasured her that he didn't

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

want to do anything that would clash with Mahiru's feelings

—this sentiment of Amane's had indeed been conveyed to

her, and it was with that understanding that Mahiru was

begging him to act on his desires.

Amane was speechless as Mahiru looked up at him

timidly once again.

"From the bottom of my heart, I'm so glad I fell in love

with a guy like you."

Seeing Mahiru wearing a smile packed full of joy,

happiness, and love, Amane reached his limit—he pressed

his lips against her tender, soft, pale cheek.

Her cheek was incomparably smooth compared to his

own skin, and he gave her the tenderest of light kisses,

putting all his love into it. Starting from the spot he had

kissed, her pale skin flushed pink.

"All right, there… I kissed your cheek; was that okay?"

He had followed through, but now he was worried that it

would have been better to warn her before he did…

Although, it was already too late for that.

An amused, happy smile blossomed across Mahiru's face.

"…I feel like that's not something you need to ask after

you've already gotten permission."

"I couldn't help it… I just—my self-control was at its limit,

you could say. Sorry for indulging myself."

"You really are a conscientious person. Of all the things

you could do to me, the only ones I would hate are… Well, I

wouldn't like being tickled or having my cheeks pinched, but

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

really, there's nothing else, okay?"

Then Mahiru gently brought her lips to Amane's cheek in

retaliation. After kissing him, she moved them close to his

ear as he sat there, frozen.

"Listen, I'm never going to object to getting a kiss from

my boyfriend."

Oh my god…!

Agonizing over what a bad boyfriend he had been, to be

blind to that obvious fact, Amane planted another gentle kiss

on Mahiru's porcelain cheek.

He forced himself to get ahold of the desires that were

swirling around inside of him, and he embraced Mahiru's

small body again, simply appreciating how lovable his

girlfriend was.

"So stop me if I get crazy, please. This is already a lot…"

"Crazy?"

"I feel like I might lose control, you know? I've got no

willpower to spare. I know that's pretty pathetic, but…"

"…And if you did go wild, what would happen?"

"I'd probably make you cry."

He wasn't going to force her into anything, and he

obviously didn't want to make her cry, but Amane felt like

there was something inside him that he couldn't control.

Embracing her, and feeling her soft body against his, filled

him with urges that were hard to resist. The very fact that he

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

had endured it thus far was practically a miracle.

He suspected Mahiru might not stop him if he kept going,

but it was precisely because of how much he cared for her

and wanted to treasure her that he couldn't allow himself to

take things any further.

Instead, in order to rein in his hopeless urges, he loosened

his hold on her just a little.

Amane caught a whiff of her sweet scent, which somehow

seemed even stronger than it had been before, as he slowly

pressed his lips against her neck.

His touch was light on her slender neck, which was so

pale that the blood vessels showed through, and her slim

body shivered. But she didn't seem to dislike it. She just

twisted a little bit as if it tickled.

Slowly, he slid his mouth down, and when he reached the

base of her neck, Amane filled his nose with her scent and

bit down gently.

Of course, he didn't bite hard enough to leave behind

tooth impressions. Though it was a light nibble, Mahiru

made a high-pitched noise. But she didn't try to escape from

his arms. She gripped Amane's shirt tightly and let him do as

he pleased.

Her irresistible sweetness threatened to overwhelm him

again, but he kept ahold of himself, and finally, in a spot that

he figured would be covered by her school uniform, he

gently sucked on her skin.

Staring at the single dot of rosy color on her otherwise

pale white skin, Amane felt guilt, affection, excitement, and

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

a faint sense of dominance and conquest. When he was

done, he was left with the keen feeling that he was a

despicable man.

He slowly looked up and saw Mahiru staring at him with

teary eyes and a bright-red face. There wasn't the slightest

bit of hatred in her gaze, but her expression was filled with

embarrassment.

Amane immediately knew that he had overdone it, and he

hung his head. "Um… I'm really sorry about that. That

wasn't right."

Mahiru opened her tightly pursed lips and, without

hesitation, bit down suddenly on the base of his neck near

his shoulders, just above the collar of his T-shirt.

He could almost hear the adorable sound effects as she

chomped down, then kept nibbling as she tried and failed to

suck at his skin with her mouth. From the way she was

moving, it was more like she was trying to eat him.

After a moment, Mahiru pulled her mouth away. She

made a face as if she didn't understand why she had failed to

leave even the faintest impression on Amane's skin. She

must have felt his eyes on her and looked up at him with an

expression that was somewhat sulky and childish, yet also

daring.

"…Fair's fair."

The tone of her voice challenged him to complain. Along

with the fact that she hadn't even been able to leave a mark,

it was so adorable Amane thought he might die.

Though he was filled with a desire to hug her tightly and

『fb.com/JNovelCodex』

carry her right off to bed, Amane somehow managed to hold

back. "You dummy," he groaned as he buried his face in the

base of her neck again, careful not to start sucking on a new

spot.