13 | Bittersweet

Natalie sat at her dead mate's grave and talked, knowing that everything she was going to say would be received without judgment.

"There's this other alpha who's offered me a deal that would get me out of this, but it means I'd have to mate with him. It wouldn't be a real mating, because all he wants is an alliance with my dad and it will only be temporary. The thing is… I need to make everyone believe that he's my true mate, which means I'm going to be telling them that you never were. And I'm so sorry for this, so fucking sorry, my love, but I can't see any other way out. 

People say I must wish I'd never found you if it meant you were going to die before we even had a chance to fully etch, but I don't wish that you know. Never have, never will. We might not have mated, but we did have a bond.

I'm so sorry, but this is the last time I'll be here. My dad's not going to let me come back after this, but you can bet your ass that I'll still be talking to you sometimes. I'll find a waterfall just like we use to and I'll go sit there and talk to you. Make sure you listen, Ava March, because you always had a habit of switching off when you think I won't notice. 

You've probably switched off now. Okay, it's fair to say that I've been jabbering on." Natalie laughed as she stood, wiping the tears from her cheeks and saying the words she always said just before leaving. 'Miss you, love you.'

Then, with a heavy heart, she turned away and began walking back toward the pack house. And it hurt so, so bad knowing she'd never be back. It was like there was this huge constriction around her chest that tightened with each step.

"She was a good kid," Mo said as she got to the house. 

"Yeah." 

"She won't hate you for mating with Mark, you know. She wouldn't want you living your life alone. And Mark's not a bad guy." 

Deciding that arguing would only make Mo more likely to watch her more closely, she continued with her 'I'm pissed but resigned' act.

Natalie would have spent the next few hours in a gloomy mood if it hadn't been for her dad's fantastic news. Mark was due to arrive the evening after tomorrow for another visit. That put her thoughts back in order like nothing else could have. Not only did it remind her exactly why she was doing this, but it helped her shove the guilt aside – guilt which had been heightened by how her body and her wolf reacted to Dominic. 

It wasn't that she had never desired a guy before, but the desire had never been this intense. If Natalie had met him under different circumstances, she would have most likely run far and fast from that desire. As much as she had always told herself that she would one day mate, whenever she got involved with a guy she found herself involuntarily holding back. Although she craved safety, protection, and the type of connection that only mates had, she still hated herself because she felt as though she was betraying Ava. A part of her knew that wasn't the case but it didn't change how she felt. If she ever particularly liked a guy or girl, her instinct was to stay the hell away from them. 

Which was why she had a problem with Dominic. She wouldn't be able to stay clear of him. Not only because they needed to spend time together to pull off the true mate stuff, but because they would be mated. It wouldn't matter that what brought them together wasn't love or even a desire to be mated, the second he marked her and she accepted him, they would be classed as mates and their wolves would make it damn difficult for them to keep a physical distance. 

She was pretty sure she wouldn't need to work hard to keep an emotional gulf between them because neither she nor Dominic wanted to etch on each other. Still, the idea of being around someone who could so easily prime her body with just a look was, to say the least, disconcerting. It didn't help that her wolf had such a big thing for him. 

Five hours had passed before Natalie remembered that she had Dominic's number in case something came up that could potentially hurt their plan. Reckoning that her new bodyguards might be a problem, she decided to send him a text message to warn him about her dad having her followed. The whole claiming would work out better if his enforcers were aware that they might have to either distract or fight off two of her dad's enforcers. 

It was eight-thirty when Shirley and her boyfriend finally came knocking on her bedroom door. Since they were kids they had all been best friends. Ava had been the leader of their little group and it had hit every one of them hard when she died. These two people had seen how badly Natalie had dealt with Ava's death. They could remember how Ava had been so protective and possessive of her. As such, they would be the most difficult to convince that Dominic was her true mate. Hell, she might not be able to convince them at all. She already felt a little guilty lying to them like that, betraying their friendship but It was either she acted well or mate with Mark.

"You ready to go?" Zane asked as he fiddled with the collar of his shirt. 

"Yep," she replied. 

"Hey you look great," Shirley remarked in her usual giddy voice as she took in Natalie's silk, emerald green dress, and matching heels. 

Zane nodded his agreement. "I'm not sure Mark will like that you're going out looking like that without him around to keep other wolves away." As they began walking down the stairs, he added, "I still can't believe you put him on his ass at dinner the other night." 

Shirley shrugged. "Looked to me like he kind of liked it. It's only what he should expect if he picks a dominant female." 

"Natalie, I wanted to ask," Zane began, "do you seriously not want him, or is this some big thing that dominant females do? Do they make the males really work for it?" 

Deciding it was best not to launch into how much she detested Mark right before apparently stumbling upon her true mate, she bit her lip. "It's our way of testing if the male's a worthy mate." That wasn't a lie. Alpha females didn't submit without the male proving their dominance. It was just that, in this case, that didn't apply, because Mark had never been a consideration. 

"Oh I think he's definitely worthy," Shirley giggled with a smirk. "I'd do him." 

Natalie rolled her eyes and smiled as they walked out of the house. "There aren't many people you wouldn't do."