Chapter 14

Lilly

I stared at Zain lying in the hospital bed, wounds covered in bandages that were stained with crimson.

His wounds were healing slowly but they would heal.

I stared wide eyed filled with fear as his raspy voice echoed through my mind..

"I have something to tell you..."

My lips parted as I tried to keep my bottom lip from trembling, sorrow in his eyes told me this wouldn't be good.

Walking in silently, I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath, I could smell anxiety rolling off of him in waves.

My own body giving off the same scent.

Sitting on the chair beside his bed, I looked into those eyes blue as the purest ocean.

Sorrowful.

"Lilly," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"You don't want me around you anymore do you?" I questioned as I stifled my sobs and I looked away from him.

I wouldn't cry, I couldn't.

"Lilly," he called out softly. "No, it's just.. I can't have you around Dan anymore, it's causing problems with my wolf," he spoke up and anger rose into me like a phoenix ready to burst into flames.

I felt a low growl through my chest as my head whipped to face him.

"You what?" I growled out.

My wolf didn't like his command when she saw Dan as family.

As her pack member.

Her mate got another pregnant, he lost all authority in telling me what to do.

Zain's eyes narrowed at the obvious ruffling of my fur, fire in my eyes.

I glared down with my own green eyes.

"Zain I don't think you have any authority to tell me what I can do, you lost that privilege. I am not mated to you and you are having a pup with another female," I gritted out through clenched teeth, my words were low and deathly as I felt the anger pulsating inside me.

His nose flared, taking in the scent of anger I gave off and he smirked.

"Lilly, my father has approved it. You being around Deacon sets off My wolf and it is unhealthy for the pack to witness as well as for Grace," he said and his smirk turned down into an uncomfortable sadness.

A frown crossed my features at the mention of her name.

"Why would it matter to you if Grace is upset? I thought you didn't care about her?" I asked as I was getting irritated be cause he has told me he didn't care.

His eyes found mine, apologetic. "I don't…" he tricked of before speaking up again. "My pup, if she's going to miscarry I don't want to be the cause of it. Its a feeling I can't control, my wolf wants you but he knows we are going to be a father and he has an urge to protect the pup, my wolfing out isn't going to do that and I can't explain it without hurting you," he spoke up and his voice cracked at the end.

I inhaled, taking a deep breath, smelling the sadness that came from his wolf side.

I understood.

An expecting parent wanted their pup safe no matter who the other parent was.

Its instinct but it hurt.

Tears formed in my eyes, I can't seem to stop them anymore despite my promises, I am too emotional for this.

"Zain, he's all I have. You have someone else and he's all that keeps me together." I whispered and I felt the warm liquid run down my cheeks, my sinuses clogging in that familiar way I've become so used to.

Zain glared at me,eyes darkening. "You have me," he growled lowly.

Standing, my mouth fell open as I gawked at him.

"I have you!?!? No I don't! She has you! She's carrying your pup, demanding your Mark!" I yelled at him.

"I won't give her that," he says softly, his eyes blurred as well.

I felt my shattered heart cut deeper in my chest, the pieces lodging themselves into my lungs.

"Maybe not but you're asking me to watch you two together, to be alone and watch. To stay away from my only real friend and all because you can't stand it!?!?," I asked him incredulously. "Well do what everyone else does to me with Grace! Keep away!!! They look at me, fearful I will shift and rip her limb to limb because I'm a new shifter and think I can't control my wolf," I added as I yelled at him not being able to control my anger any longer

His eyes softened as he spoke up trying to calm me, "most newly shifting wolves can't Lilly, not even when we get older and experience something like jealousy."

He had enough empathy to look sheepish at his own mistake.

I paced the room, feeling cagey all of a sudden.

My mind was a wave of scenarios that could play out in my head... Finally I looked up, wiping the tears from my face.

"Is this really the alpha's request or yours?" I asked as I pursed my lips, thinking he had no real say in this.

He looked down, "I asked him to order you."

Fire.

I was pumping fire through my veins, stalking toward him with purpose, I felt my canines descend as I rose my hand and slapped him across the face.

He let me because he could have easily stopped me.

"How dare you!!!!" I yelled at him as my anger turned to agony.

I cry when I'm angry, it's something I can't control... My hands shook.

He pleaded at me with those blue eyes to understand as I stood there shaking in rage and sorrow.

"Lilly it breaks me, know there's nothing there but my wolf is threatened by it," he says to me and I turn on my heel, too disgusted to say another word to him or hear him say anything to me.

I reached for the door ready to go see Deacon when Zain's words stopped me.

"Lilly, remember when we were kids? And you and Deacon were always running around, chasing each other, tackling each other like little wolves and playfully barking because you wanted to be a wolf already?" He questioned and his words has me smiling as I remembered back to those days.

Days when Zaryn would babysit us, we were 9 and he was 12 and he would always make fun of us..

"I remember," I whispered loud enough for him to hear, my hand backing away from the door handle as I turned, feeling that exquisite feeling of his eyes over my skin.

It sent me into a state of lust. Always.

Feeling his eyes rake down my body, I was curvy for my age.

I knew he liked what he saw.

I could smell his arousal just from watching me, eyes lingering over my curves.

Our eyes met and something inside me wanted to be next to him now that the anger was fading.

It would cone back but right now was a moment that time had stopped.

He continued as I sat next to him in a chair, his eyes locked on mine.

"I always thought you were so cute even when you were young," he confessed.

As did I , I say to myself.

I always had a crush on Zain but pretended to think he was gross, something kids just do.

"Lilly, I remember on your 15th birthday, after I had come home from training for the summer to discover you had grown so much, filled out in all the right places, I found you attractive and I know I was already 18 but I couldnt help but feel drawn to you even then and assick as it may sound, I always watched you with a fondness," he let out and his glassy eyes spoke of truth.

I studied his features, his angular jaw and sculpted cheek bones.

He was a work of art.

But why did it have to be him? Why did he have to be my mate?