Author_Enigwe
Oooh.. This story is pretty interesting so far. Was adella very protective of Vepar purely because of her extreme beauty? Does adella's hubby know that his daughter is of illegitimate birth? I am interested to know how the story unfolds. Too bad the chapters are so short! Love the background of the story so far. More chapters please author-san.
This novel has a lot of potential. I really enjoyed reading it and definitely adding it to my library! Great imagery, and excellent clarification when it came to characters and their personalities and traits. This is good to do at the beginning of the novel so the reader can focus on the story and character development later on. Remember to try to separate those long paragraphs into shorter ones (I usually go for 2-4 sentences then skip a line) as most of our readers are reading this on their phones/tablets and want it to be read like a book not a newspaper. Again, an incredible job, this is going to be legendary!
Teen romance and young adult. That is the theme of this novel. There will be situation after situation happening, without giving the readers any rest. Will the readers hate that? No! Because by that point they will be so hooked and scrolling down pages. At first, I thought it was a lucifer fanfic. Then I saw mermaids.
It seems that story was either written of boredom or it is just the first novel of this new author. Anyway, with only two chapters I do not see this story becoming a novel, most likely a super-short story or a short story. This is a nice story, with an good system but it will be much better if you are careful at your way of writing and making the story sound good.